Chapter 143: I Am Sorry, Master

Chapter 143: I Am sorry, Master

Nelson

“It usually takes three weeks for a chance to develop where the disease enters your body. In this case, your mouth and anus, I will do a check up but I am not worried. Before this sore had developed, you aren't contagious and with the testament, it never will. To be one hundred percent sure though, you and your husband should do a test in a month.”

The doctor's speech reassured me a bit but the shameful examination that went next was horrible, he spent the longest time probing at my asshole. I welcomed the pain of the two intramuscular injections in my ass cheeks and tried not to think too much about it on my way back home. My master called to reassure me and told me it was just a simple disease that was easily cured and that the doctor was very confident I couldn't spread it. It all made sense when he was speaking to me with his soothing voice, ending the call with an apology he would be late home but when I was on my own in the house, all was forgotten. It started stupidly, just by a small thought that maybe he was taking his time to come back home because he didn't want to deal with me. Who would like to spend his evening with a broken raped victim full of diseases anyway? I have been used and abused by another man who soiled me with syphilis, no wonder he didn't want to see me. I might even be HIV positive and like my captor said countless times, I am just a little whore anyway.

Shouldn't I have been disgusted by sex after what happened to me? I am sure someone normal would have but no, I am just too much of a slut for that. I had to rush back into it and I even begged for it. What is wrong with me? Since he is kind and doesn't want to let me go too harshly, my master granted me a pity fuck. But of course, he doesn't want to do that every night especially since he might get infected, hence late night return. How pathetic am I to think everything could go back to normal after what I did? With all those thoughts swirling in my head and a pain forming in my chest eventually becomes too much and I need something, anything to numb it. So naturally, I turned towards the antalgic that helped me for more than two years, alcohol. Just a small glass, my master would never know. Of course, I couldn't use one of the liquor in his house, so I quickly went out to shop for a bottle of wine.

The first glass wasn't enough to fully stop the pain so I took another and another. At the fourth glass, I was quietly sipping on the couch and I thought that by that point, I might as well finish the whole bottle. The alcohol might have made me a little smarter since this is the moment I realized how stupid I had been. My master spent last night telling me how much he loves me and how could I let myself go like this? I feel like shít right now and for once, the guilt I feel has nothing to do with what happened during my captivity a few days ago. Although, there is still a bit of that but mostly I feel disgusted with myself because I just downed a whole bottle of wine in less than an hour. My master is going to be so pissed and rightfully so, why did I have to do this? Because if he didn't want to leave me after I submitted to another man, he most certainly will when he discovers I have relapsed in once of my worst addiction.

This is the moment I received his text, saying he is on his way back home. I have to hide this and hope he doesn't notice anything. I rushed to the compactor room on the floor to throw the empty bottle in the recycling bin and then back to the house to clean the glass I used. I eat some sweets to cover the smell of alcohol and then brush my teeth twice. Then I stripped to my underwear and kneeled in the living room like I always do to wait for him. I can do this, I said to myself. After two years of being an alcoholic, I have learnt to be a very high functioning drunk and I just have to focus a bit and he won't discover that I was completely wasted. Otherwise, I can kiss my life with him goodbye.

“I am home, baby.” He greeted me from the door when he entered. Is it me being drunk or is his voice a bit colder than usual? I can't fully trust my perception right now and I mentally slap myself for the umpteenth time to drink alone like this, completely stupidly.

“Do you have something you would like to tell me, baby?” He asked.

Okay, his voice is definitely icier than usual but I don't see how he could know yet. I haven't said anything, I am sure I don't smell like wine and I don't have a tracker around my neck anymore since the collar I used to wear had been damaged beyond repair. It must be something else but I don't know what it is.

“No, master” I replied, he will tell me what I did wrong.

“Look up, baby!”

Oh my gosh, if I thought his voice was cold before, we are now below freezing temperatures and this sends shivers down my spine and not the pleasure-able kind. His eyes that were so warm yesterday are now dark with anger.

“Please explain to me where the bottle of wine you went out to buy earlier!”

My whole body petrified in fear, I am way too dumbfounded to formulate an answer. How did he know? Oh fuck, this is the end and he is going to break up with me now. There is no way around it.

“I asked you a question, baby?” He growled. I just can't face his outrage right now.

“Answer me!” His voice booms in the living room and I am not sure I ever saw him so furious.

Combined with my fear of him breaking up with me I just began to shake uncontrollably while tears ran down my eyes, incapable of saying anything. Arms suddenly encircle me before I go into a full panic attack.

“Calm down, baby.” He said more gently.

“I am not going to leave you if that is what you are thinking again but I need to explain to me what happened.”

“I am sorry, master.”

It seems to be the only thing I can say, on loop, crying. It takes me a while before I start believing that he is indeed going to stay by my side. By then I had calmed down a bit and stopped trembling.

“How did you know, master?” I sob miserably. Was I that obvious?

“Do you really think I would leave you without surveillance after what happened, baby? He replied.

“There is one guard watching the apartment at all times, he followed you on your errands and I had hired him for your protection but it seems you are your worst enemy right now. It's your turn to explain now.”

“I am sorry, master. I wasn't thinking clearly.” I began.

“I was alone and brooding dark thoughts.”

It is so embarrassing to confess the next part. I took a deep breath and just went with it.

“I thought a drink would be a good idea so I went to buy some wine. Then the one drink becomes two and then the whole bottle. By the time I realized what I had done, I tried to hide it because I thought you would be so disgusted by me that you would kick me out.”

“It is true that I am extremely disappointed in you, baby.”

This is like a heavy blow to my stomach, of course I knew it on the abstract level but hearing it said makes it somehow more real.

“But mostly because you didn't turn to me to ask for help like when you had trouble quitting smoking. And then of course because you lied to me, I know you have your addiction, baby and I am certainly not going to suddenly end our contract or divorce you because you relapsed into one of them.”

I can't believe he would say this when I am feeling so disgusted with myself. I don't know what I have done to deserve this man.

“But you are going to be punished, but tonight since you are intoxicated and can't be trusted to properly safeword if needed. We will talk about it tomorrow morning, now go to bed and I will join you shortly.”

I will take whatever punishment he thinks about without complaining, I tell myself as I head to our room. I thought I wouldn't fall asleep with all that happened but after barely ten minutes of waiting, I dozed off in heavy sleep. I guess I don't hold my liquor as well as I used do