Chapter 92

I thought I’d be able to relax now that Miya is back, but the truth is, I’m more on edge than ever. What if he comes back for her and I’m asleep? What if he takes her from right under my nose?

I can’t think of anything worse than losing her again.

So, I decide it would be best for me to stay awake, but as the night draws to an end, every shadow I see is an enemy waiting to pounce on us.

I’m on edge. I’m tried, and I’m paranoid.

I hate this feeling of helplessness; I can’t fucking stand it.

I wish I could just take Miya and disappear from all of this, but I know that would be selfish of me. My mates are depending on the fact that I will help them win. So that is what I have to do, regardless of my own feelings.

I jump, almost throwing a lamp at Maddox when he opens the door, a small smirk on his lips, “you going to throw that at me, little fae?” He asks, chuckling.

I shake my head, and put it back on the nightstand, carefully climbing out of bed so I don’t disturb Miya. “Let’s go talk in the hall.” I tell him, “I don’t want her to wake up yet, she needs her rest.”

He looks at the sleeping girl on the bed and nods, following me back out of the room.

“You could have sent her back to her own room.” He says quietly as he shuts the door, “I increased the security in and around the castle.”

“I preferred her to stay here with me.” I tell him softly, “it made us both feel better, I think.”

Maddox steps closer to me, wrapping his arms around my waist and lifting me up, my legs automatically curling around him. I place my hands on his shoulders, resting my head against his.

When did his arms become my safe space?

I could have sworn I used to hate him.

“Did you sleep at all?” He asks, “you look like shit.”

Gee. That’s nice of him.

“No.” I murmur, laying my head in the crook of his neck, “it was like every movement inside and outside of the room was an enemy. I couldn’t settle.” I laugh a little. “It reminds me of how my life used to be out on the road, I’d forgotten what it was like not to sleep much and Always be on edge.”

He holds me a little bit tighter, “I’d send god himself to hell before I allow anyone to hurt you.”

I smile into his skin, kissing him softly where his neck meets his shoulders, “that’s sweet of you, but you can’t make that kind of promise, we are at war.” I say sadly, “lots of people die in war, I should know, I have experienced a lot of it.”

He pulls me up, forcing me to look at him with his hand wrapped around my chin, “No one is going to hurt you, not whilst you are by my side.”

I stare into his eyes, mesmerised by how dark they are, it’s like staring into a pit of black shadows, and get, they are so unbelievably beautiful.

And for some silly, childish, hopeless reason, I believe him.

I believe that he will do everything in his power to protect me, for as long as he can.

I believe that he will choose me, over and over, every time.

And for once in my life, I see it, I see the love in his eyes and I know that it is meant for me, and only me.

“No one is going to hurt me.” I repeat, still staring into his eyes.

Maddox nods, satisfied by my response, “I’m going to take you to my room so you can get some rest.” He says, walking away from my bedroom.

I panic, fighting him to put me down. “I can’t leave! What if Miya wakes up? What if she needs me?”

“Stop Elora!” He shouts, holding me in place as I try to fling myself backwards out of his arms. “Miya will be fine. I have sent people to watch over her, they will get her anything she needs, including you.”

I pant for breath, staring back at my bedroom door, wondering if she’ll truly be safe there, on her own.

For all I know it could be how she prefers it, she might not want to be around me or anyone else right now.

But it still feels wrong to leave her, it feels like I am abandoning her all over again.

I turn back to Maddox, my eyes wide with fear, “she’ll be safe?”

He nods, “she will be fine. I have my best men watching for her.”

I should believe him. I should. But my heart is screaming at me that I am a bad friend to leave her, even if it’s only to sleep.

I have failed her far too often, and this feels like that. It feels like I am about to do it again.

“I’m making to decision for you, little fae, because you clearly cannot be trusted to make it yourself.” He says, angrily carrying me towards his room halfway down the hall. “You aren’t even far away from her, you need to sleep, you can’t help her or anyone if you are exhausted.” He growls to himself, “I am sick of you choosing everyone else over yourself. You matter, Elora. More than most.”

I stare at him is disbelief, he’s shouting, and he’s angry, but I also see that all he is doing is trying to protect me.

Where has the old Maddox gone? The one that wanted to eat me alive. It’s hard to believe that this is the same person.

Maybe people can change, even if they seem beyond redemption.

“Ok.” I whisper softly, stopping him when he tries to speak again, “I’ll sleep, but only if you hold me.”

He looks at me, as though he was searching for the answers in my soul, and then he smiles, a smile that could light the castle even during the darkest night.

“It would be my pleasure.”

No, it would be mine.

I need it now more than ever.