Chapter 52: Do you like me?

Evan suggested we drink free alcohol-well, free for me since he was the paying for the bill, anyway-but I immediately declined with my firm and the precise reason that my mind might spin around crazily and that it wouldn't allow me to peacefully understand the episode I was watching on the rerun of The Big Bang Theory if we drink some. The way Sheldon Cooper would talk was enough for me to not understand his words and scientific arguments transparently, even in a normal state of my mind. So it was pretty fair to assume that if I would drink alcohol and eventually get drunk, I really wouldn't be able to understand Sheldon at all. Walking while arguing about what to eat except for foods that needed some tomato and onion removal, we found ourselves in the middle of a food festival. Neither of us had any idea that there was some festival ongoing near our place in Gangnam. And it was rather exciting being surprisingly greeted by such an event just when you had a petty food argument with someone. "Oh, would you look at this?" I pulled the hem of Evan's shirt to earn his attention. "We must be lucky today. Now we don't have to think about what to eat." I pointed to the food carts, which seemed to be endless. "Do you have your mask with you? There's a lot of people here that might recognize you." "I had . . . but I think I might have dropped it earlier. It's okay, though. Let's go." The heated food argument between us ultimately cooled off seeing the incredible sight of the fest: Diverse Korean foods varying from traditional to modern with dishes featuring the finest local ingredients ever existed were lined up on the sides of the streets; colorful lights replaced the lifeless-looking dim street lamps; people were happily flocking the food carts; a bunch of kids playing some sort of street games; groups of youngsters dancing to some k-pop music played in a speaker. We passed a food cart selling kimchi. A woman-probably in her 4o's-was wearing plastic gloves as she meticulously coated the napa cabbage with gochugaru (red chili powder). She then set it aside in a large food container, sealed it inside, and took another napa cabbage. As she was preparing the next napa cabbage, two little boys made their way to the cart and bought her mouthwatering kimchi. "Do you want that?" Evan inquired, his eyes directed to the kimchi. "Nah." I shook my head. "Kayla and I had some of that earlier." I marveled at the various Korean foods lined perfectly suitable before my eyes, seemingly unable to stop my freaky smile as if it was my first time seeing those tasty and unique arrays of foods when, in fact, I have eaten such foods her entire life. I was having a good time randomly choosing what foods to eat. It probably looked like I didn't really pay attention to what I was choosing. We were only checking at one food cart, but it was almost as if I ordered every type of food I could find, even making the vendors amused at my enthusiasm to eat such a significant amount of food. When I remembered Evan's presence and turned my attention back to him with both of my hands holding a large tray containing all the foods I got, he was staring at it with an expression purely showing a great shock. He simply scoffed, almost unsure what to say because his great expression seemed to be weighing more. "Are you sure you don't want something to drink with all those foods? A soju, perhaps?" he inquired and took the large tray from me. He already knew my silly reason for not wanting to drink alcohol, so it rather seemed like he was only teasing me. "If you want some soju, then have some. Really, don't mind me. Sparkling water would be great," I uttered and hastily followed Evan as he walked to find an empty table. I looked around at the other tables, noticing that most of them were occupied by couples flirting over dishes and drinks. It was as if such a scenario slapped me in the face with a mere reality that Evan and I could never be like that-a couple. Of course, not that I wished for it to happen. I knew my boundaries when it came to him. I was aware of my limitations as his condominium neighbor and, more importantly, his fan. "There!" Evan pointed at a small empty table and approached it. With all the plates and saucers of food, there was incredibly no adequate space left on the small table. I ordered a large bowl of tteokbokki (spicy rice cake), kimchi pajeon (kimchi pancake with green onions, deep-fried hotdog, bulgogi (marinated beef barbecue), a dish of fried tofu, and odeng (fish cake). We had to play three levels of Tetris with the dishes placing them to make everything fit on the table. "Really, Misty, let's drink some alcohol." "You drink. I might have a hangover tomorrow. In that case, I won't be able to go to Paper Chase early," I mumbled as I munched the delicate pieces of tteokbokki, which were still simmering in gochujang (red chili paste) in my paper bowl. "Woah! Delicious!" Shortly after Evan paid the bill, he plopped himself on the seat in front of me. He then took the deep-fried hot dog on a stick coated in a batter and stared at it, probably still contemplating swaying me to his alcohol agenda. "But all these foods you got would go well with alcohol. Especially this kimchi pajeon." "Wait, is it alright for you to eat these foods? You're still promoting your album, right?" I immediately asked because I got worried that he might still have some food restrictions that he needed to oblige, just like other K-pop idols doing album promotion. "Now, you even want to drink alcohol." "Nah. It's okay," Evan mumbled as he finished eating the deep-fried hotdog. "My abs are going to be fine. I'll even let you see them later-Ouch!" I softly hit his head with the extra wooden chopsticks. "E-Excuse me? I didn't ask for your abs! I'm not even interested in them," I laughed sarcastically to avoid my stuttering, and by the look on his smirking face, I had no idea if he was offended or not by my comment about his abs. "Not interested? Really?" In seconds, Evan suddenly burst into an enormous peal of laughter, seeing how my face displayed a flurry of panic evident by the sudden warmth I felt forming on my face. "Ah, you never fail to make me laugh, Misty." "And you're enjoying it?" "Of course. So now, how about some makgeolli?" Evan asked before childishly winking at me. (Makgeolli: a raw, unfiltered alcoholic beverage that is traditionally made from rice) "No. I need to arrive at the publishing house early tomorrow to discuss the book covers Ms. Grace desires for her book with your friend, Roy," I commented before finally finishing the bowl of tteokbokki, its spiciness crusting my tongue, so I fanned myself, which made Evan snorted. "And you're going to have a hard time"-I stuck my tongue out and fanned it, my nose scrunching-"dealing with my stubbornness again if I got drunk." "Well, you got the point there. You might want to attempt kissing me again," Evan casually deadpanned, which made my eyes widen and stop fanning myself. Might you want to attempt kissing him again? When did I ever attempt to kiss him? I racked my brain as hard as I could, trying to make myself remember such a happening. "Kiss you? What nonsense are you talking about?" "You don't remember?" Evan teasingly asked and clicked his tongue. He grabbed a piece of kimchi pajeon and dipped it in the soy sauce. "Months ago, when you were drunk, your car bumped into my car?" He raised an eyebrow as if he encouraged me to think about it more thoroughly. "And?" I innocently asked, my head tilting. "You laid on the ground, so I tried getting you up, but you were so stubborn. You touched my lips and suddenly moved your face closer to mine, and-" Before Evan could even finish talking, such a distinct moment of that night suddenly appeared in my mind vividly, and in an instant, there were some bright-red shock alert signs developing within me. Dammit. "Stop! I don't want to hear it." "-pouted your lips at me." "Evan!!!" I groaned in frustration and washed my face with both of my hands. He never mentioned such a thing to me, and I had the gut to get furious at him for kissing my forehead when we did a photoshoot together for a magazine featuring those wedding collections when it was me who first attempted to pursue a kiss. Such a shame, Misty. Such a shame. I felt like I had no face to show Evan anymore. "Misty, I know you didn't mean to do it. Really, it's fine now." I only nodded as a response. It was so embarrassing that Evan still remembered everything I did that night. I wished I could disappear on the spot in front of Evan, get boiled in the simmering, scorching water in the big pots where the sticks of odeng were cooked by the old lady, and get disposed on the soil, anything just to vanish in the air never to be seen by Evan ever again. I continued fanning myself for what felt like a thousand times already so that Evan could drop the awkward topic. He pushed the bulgogi bowl toward me and clicked his chopsticks on its side, mentally telling me to try it, so I grabbed a piece of the meat and ate it. Feeling a full-body cringe, I didn't want to continue commenting on the kiss topic anymore and just let it be buried in the deep grounds of embarrassment. I didn't finish the tteeokbokki, so I pushed the remaining to Evan. He started devouring the remaining tteokbokki while staring at me with pure concern-more like my poor tongue. Not until the corner of his suddenly twitched-clearly to tease me again. "Are you sure? Makgeolli will be amazing to clench that spiciness." "Are you being serious?" I growled upon hearing his prospect again, but the mischievous man was only laughing at me. "I'm still having a proper full-on spicy crisis right now, and you're still asking me to drink makgeolli? Do you want to even activate my pain receptors?" I felt hot already, so I accepted a round plastic fan from people handing out and started fanning myself with great effort, even making Evan's strands of hair lift. "Okay, sure. But-" "What?" "Stop me immediately if I try doing something to you again." "You mean if you try kissing me again?" I rolled my eyes at him and stabbed the kimchi pajeon with my chopsticks, making Evan puff a soft chuckle. "Yeah, sure." "Ahjumma, one bottle of makgeolli, please," Evan politely requested the old lady vendor, who had just finished putting sticks of odeng in a large pot. After a couple of seconds, the vendor brought the makgeolli to our table, and then we started drinking it. As I glanced around, I noticed that there was a group of five girls behind Evan who were staring at our table, whispering something to each. When I finally realized that they were eyeing Evan, I immediately bowed my head and covered half of it with one hand. I cleared my throat to obtain his attention. "Hey." The piece of tteokbokki Evan was holding by his chopstick stopped midway to his mouth. "Misty, why are you hiding your face?" he asked. "Your fans . . ." I whispered, and pretty sure he didn't hear me properly as blasting music was still playing in the background. "What?" "Your fangirls are taking photos of us-No, I mean a photo of you. Oh, no. Now they're approaching you," I mumbled out of deep panic as I saw the girls start walking towards Evan with notepads and pens in their hands. It seemed like they really happened to recognize Evan even if he was wearing a baseball cap, just like what I anticipated earlier to happen. "Excuse me. Evan Park?" one of them asked. Evan slowly stood up to face and politely greeted them, making them squeal and even smacked each other's arms out of complete excitement seeing their idol. Knowing how Evan greatly appreciates his fans, I already anticipated there was going to be a mini fan meeting, so I tried my best to stay frozen in my seat. "Oh, my gosh. You're really Evan. We're your fans and we just want to say we love your recent album. It's so amazing!" one of them giggled. Evan, who likely got shy upon hearing such a compliment, smiled while scratching his nape. "Oh, thank you so much. I'm happy you love it. I really appreciate your compliments, guys." "Can we get a sign, please?" all of them asked unanimously and instantly gave their notepads to Evan. "Sure. I'd love to, " Evan said. As they kept doing their mini fan meeting, I kept my head down while occasionally eating the fried tofu and drinking the makgeolli. They likely might've seen me or something, but it seemed like they couldn't care less, so they just ignored my presence, which was fair, honestly. I didn't want them to assume some things about Evan and me. A couple of minutes passed, and Evan finally finished interacting with his fans. "Are you, guys, done? Did they leave already?" I panicky asked him, my hand on my forehead with my elbow resting on the table as I avoided looking at him with the bit of worry that his fans might still be around. My free hand grabbed the shallow bowl containing the makgeolli I prepared before Evan's fans approached him and hastily drank from it. I heard Evan chuckle as he poured makgeolli into my shallow bowl again and put it in front of me. "Yeah. Stop hiding your face and let's finish eating." "Are you sure?" I uttered and grabbed the shallow bowl again. It was halfway to my mouth when I heard Evan suddenly snort. "What?" "Misty, that's, uh, that's soy sauce." "Oh, God. I must be drunk already," I drawled, placing the bowl back on the table. Evan's lips pursued a smile before taking a piece of the fried tofu and dipping it into the soy sauce I was accidentally going to drink. "Why were you even so afraid?" "That they might think we are in some kind of a date. What if there's a reporter or paparazzi from The Scope Media?" I murmured, making Evan pause in his movements. It was inappropriate to assume, but being an idol meant paparazzi could be everywhere waiting for some celebrities' and idols' stories-especially about their dating life-to disclose, and The Scope Media was known to be an online media outlet specializing in that specific field. "What?" "I'm pretty sure you heard me." Oh, no. My assumption might have come out straightforward. I wondered if Evan was taken aback as he stayed silent for a moment. Well, in all likelihood, he had some other important things in his life that were worth his time to consider instead of dealing with some frustrated girl's eccentric assumption who happened to be his neighbor-music, his fans, his family, close friends in the music industry, and above all, his reputation as an idol. He stared at me and put down his chopsticks before blinking twice, then laughing. "Attempting a kiss, date . . . Misty, be honest with me . . ." he trailed off for about five seconds, his eyes firmly fixed on me. "Do you have a crush on me?" Oh, crap, crap, crap. Evan's question made me shiver, and even my brain was wobbling nervously. I felt my stomach twist-my small and large intestines likely rambled inside me. I cleared my throat a couple of times as my hands flew immediately onto my chest, clutching it as I felt my heart feeling out of beat. Not being able to comprehend what he had just asked me, I glanced in the direction of people dancing to a familiar K-POP song. "Crush?" I hopelessly scoffed. "I'm not a kid." "Well, then, do you like me?" he deadpanned. In the spur of the moment, our eyes met, but the way he stared at me was more intense than mine. It was as though I could see a million thoughts plastered across his face, which I couldn't seem to decipher because I was distracted by how his eyes looked like jewels. No, Evan. I don't have a crush on you. I don't even like you. I'm actually in love with you, I mused. Did that make sense? Because I don't understand myself either. I rarely notice guys, so I want to rack my brain right now to ask why I have such feelings for you. And really, I usually don't care about things like this before. I've never felt this way before. Everything seems to be unfamiliar to me right now. So why now? Why am I so bothered about this unrequited feeling? I wanted to say all these things to him right now, but I couldn't. Not now. "Joke!!!" Evan suddenly burst into big fits of laughter, his hands holding onto his stomach as if he hadn't had stomach pain for a long time. I rolled my eyes, stuck my tongue at him, and quickly finished drinking the remaining makgeolli before practically fleeing from the table. I started feeling the alcohol hitting me as soon as I strolled. I wanted to leave immediately. I had enough embarrassment tonight, and Evan was enjoying my distress. He followed me from behind and didn't say anything. "Wait, isn't that your song playing?" I asked him-even though I was starting to feel a little dizzy-when I finally recognized the familiar song the people were dancing to. "Yeah, I think so." "Look!" I pointed to the groups of youngsters dancing to his song with full-on energy. "They're dancing to it." "We have this dance cover contest. Well, they probably going to join." I raised an eyebrow which seemed to send a weird signal to Evan. "Well-" "You're masterminding something again, Misty. You really are drunk already." "Well, could you dance to it a little? I haven't seen you perform it. I mean, well, I did. But"-I suddenly hiccuped-"not in person, though. Paper Chase's cafeteria happened to be tuning to Star Music-a Korean music show being attended by idols-last Friday, so I saw your performance." "And?" "Ey, you were so cool," I giggled and softly elbowed his arm. "Really cool. I even clapped my hands after your stage and my colleagues looked at me strangely and asked if something happened to me," I mumbled as fast as I could before my hiccups came back. "So, I'd like to see you perform your song again." I hiccuped this time. Evan scratched his nape. And clearly, he was unsure-more like shy-to dance in front of me. But after some encouragement and a few pinches I did on his arm, he finally considered my prospect and danced to his song, which was still playing in the background.