Chapter 981: Help Me

Oakley

I suppose, looking back on my entire life, I had girlish, romantic notions about eventually finding my mate. Yes, I have been one to say things like, “The mate bond isn’t instantaneous for everyone,” or to straight up allude to the idea that the moment of knowing isn’t like a lightning bolt to the chest, or tasting color, or seeing music notes floating around–however people describe it.

Maybe the lucky ones feel like that and get their happily ever after immediately.

But what is a relationship with one’s mate, possibly future husband, and the future father of my children, without a little… strife?

Ian looks like he’s been dragged through hell and back twice over, and somehow, is still so handsome I could cry. I should feel lucky, and maybe, deep down, I do. But this was not how I imagined finding out I have a mate, and I have no doubt that he feels the same way.

Bowls of soup go untouched on a table on the far side of the snug room where we’re being kept like prisoners because I’m sure that’s what we are.

Ian’s been sitting in the corner staring at his hands for over an hour. I’ve been sitting on the bed, hugging my knees, with no concept of time or how I got back inside this den, this giant, impossible tree, home to hundreds of foxes in the middle of a magical mountain range.

I don’t know how to break the silence threatening to suffocate us both, so I do what any idiot would do in a situation such as this, and completely, utterly, change the subject.

“Do you know what my bride price is?” I ask.

Ian blinks, furrows his brows, and looks up at me like he’s forgotten I’m here. “I do.”

“What is it? I’ve always been curious.”

He huffs what I think might be an attempt at a laugh, but it’s pained. “It’s rather complicated, honestly. But I didn’t expect anything less for you. Rare herbs, for one. For dye, I was told. Herbs and flowers that produce your favorite colors.” His eyes have finally returned to normal, but even then, that dreamy blue is darker than usual. “Then the usual things–enough grain to feed an army, or in this case, your family, for at least three winters. Seeds for the garden. Bundles of wool from the flocks in Endova. Coffee.” He smiles to himself, but then it fades, and his expression turns serious. “The others were promises. That I’d build a home worthy enough for you. That I’d honor you and keep you safe.” He rests his hands on his knees. “I’ve broken those promises already.”

My heart cracks at his tone. “None of this is your fault.”

“I hunted you down and brought you here with no control over what I was doing, and now we’re in a tight spot, Oakley.” He looks at the curtain shielding us from the view of the next room. “I don’t know how to fix this yet, but I will, and you will see Silverhide again, I swear.”

“We’ll go home together, and everything will be made right,” I assure him. “It’s fine. Everything is fine, Ian.”

He does not look convinced because, of course, it's not that simple. But what do I know of grand adventures, magic, and whatnot? I feel totally unprepared, grasping at straws, stuck, I suppose, between our current reality and what things could have been like had we just found out what we were to each other without a beast in the way.

“I will ensure your bride price is paid,” he says, his voice low and tinged with grief I can taste. “I’m under the impression that a few things were added because of my standing within my pack. Whoever comes next will not have such a burden to bear.”

“What are you talking about?” The words slip free in a rushed, sharp hiss. I rise before my body has a chance to link up with my mind and form a rational thought. “Are you planning on rejecting me?”

He stands and steps out of the corner for the first time in what could easily have been several hours. “Oakley–”

“I need to know. Are you going to reject me? We’re mates, aren’t we? That’s what the healer said. You know I–I’ve been able to shift one time. Just once, and it was because of you, after all. We made plans, remember? You were going to take me on my nightly excursions to help find my wolf. I found it! And I feel… very heavy all of a sudden.” I press a hand directly over my heart. “I feel it. I think I feel it. I think I’m not sure how I’m supposed to feel, given the circumstances, but if you’re going to reject me, I need to know.”

“The thought never crossed my mind.” His eyes glimmer in the dim amber light. “It never crossed my mind.”

“Then what are we doing, Ian? We have to figure this out. You’re acting like you’re never going home again, and I’m your mate, and if you don’t reject me, and you think I’ll eventually marry someone else. It’s because you don’t think you’re going to make it out of this alive, do you?”

“I don’t know what’s coming next, but I could hurt you so easily. I have no control over this beast when I shift.”

“I think you have more control than you realize.” I throw my hands up in frustration. “I had so much time to think when I was out on the cliff with you all night. It was just us out there, Ian. Me, and you, and your torn wings. When I ran out there to find you, to save you, I wasn’t thinking. I ran right to you and grabbed you, and you didn’t so much as sniff the top of my head. You protected me from them, from those men.” I step closer. “That night in Endova, wolves ran into the camp and tried taking off with some sheep. I saw them and tried to stop them. It was stupid of me. There were three of them and one of me and a camp full of young women–and not warrior women, either. The spinners and weavers. You came to me. You scared them off, and you took me to safety.”

“I took you here!” he says sternly, the tone of his voice sharp enough to sting.

“You thought you were saving me. You thought you were bringing me home! Did you listen to a word that the healer said? That you’re some kind of ancient wolf species, and this is where they used to claim territory?” I take another step toward him. “You did chase me through the forest, but I don’t blame you. It was a rough night for both of us.”

He narrows his eyes to slits.

“And now we’re here, and last night, you protected me. And I stayed with you because the idea of you–of you getting hurt, it just gutted me. I can’t think about it, even now.” Another step, then another, until I’ve closed the distance between us, and my hands rest on his chest.

He takes a breath, short and shallow. Then another, and another, until his flexed muscles relax. He sinks against my touch. His warmth is like nothing I’ve ever known, and I melt into his scent. Maybe I’m crazy. Maybe I’m a fool, and my tale is continuing on the path of a cautionary fable told to naughty children. Or maybe fate is real, and the Goddess really does enjoy these little games. I wonder what our prize for winning will be because, while I might be quiet and slightly shy, I’ll be damned if I’m not competitive.

But I’m tired.

I rest my cheek against his chest and close my eyes.

“Why are you not terrified of me?”

“I don’t know,” I reply honestly, and he closes his arms around my waist and rests his cheek on the top of my head.

I’m shocked by all of this, but this action in particular takes the cake. It’s the most intimate thing that’s ever happened to me, and I instigated it. I touched him. I embraced him. I took the first steps toward our uncertain future.

I found my mate.

It kind of sucks right now, but I’m hopeful there’s a way forward.

Please, Goddess, let there be a way forward.

I nuzzle deeper into the rough shirt he’s wearing, breathing in his scent. It’s different than it used to be. It’s harder and sharper, like everything about him is being polished to a fine finish.

Someone clears their throat, and Ian stiffens, his entire body going so rigid and so still, I feel a jolt of fear bubble up inside of me, like if I make one wrong move, he’s going to go berserk.

“I’m sorry to interrupt,” comes a familiar male voice, and when I turn my head just enough to see the shadow of a man taking up the doorway, the curtain still swaying to a silent stop behind him, I recognize the voice belonging to Wren. “We have a matter to discuss.”

Ian moves like the speed of magic and tucks me behind me, pressing me against the wall and out of Wren’s view. His hand remains on my hip, keeping me in place, but the slight possessive curl of his fingers into the fabric of the crude nightgown I’ve been wearing since we arrived in the den makes a fresh, confusing kind of excitement simmer through me that I find hard to explain.

Wren’s footsteps are undeniable as he moves closer. “You have no reason not to trust me.”

“You haven’t given me a reason to trust you either,” Ian cuts back.

“You’re still alive, aren’t you? That's reason enough. I have no ill will with you, your mate, or your kind. But your arrival comes in the middle of a tense situation that you’re now making worse for me.”

Ian huffs a laugh. “Pardon our intrusion,” he says sarcastically. “The next time we’re poisoned with dart guns and carried off into the mountains, I’ll fight back a little harder.”

“My brother wants you dead, but he wants her kept alive as a breeder. He’s been unsuccessful and needs an heir, especially now that he’s beginning to fall out of favor with some of the elders in our skulk. He’s under the impression a wolf and fox hybrid is better than nothing, though I’m of the opinion that he’s viewing your woman as fresh entertainment who cannot say no. He doesn’t have a mate, no one leading beside him. The rifts are growing harder to ignore.”

Ian shuffles back a bit until I’m firmly closed against the wall. “I can promise you,” he says, his voice low and dangerous, “that if he thinks he can take her from me, he’ll die a worse death than anything you can think up.”

“That’s precisely what I’m asking you to do.”

The air in the room grows thin and chilly. Ian isn’t breathing, I don’t think. He remains perfectly still as Wren paces back toward the curtain.

“Is it true that you have no control over shifting into this beast form? But it happens at night, doesn’t it? How likely is it that at nightfall, you’ll be whole again?”

“Whole?”

“Your best self.”

“I’d argue that form is far from my best self,” Ian growls, tugging me closer, his fingers dipping precariously low over my hip bone.

“The healer has given you medicine to heal your body. Your wings should be intact. If I can promise to get your mate to safety, can you promise to kill anyone left within this den when the moon is at its highest point?”

“What is the reason? You’re overthrowing your brother so you can be Alpha? Is that what you’re saying?”

“He’s culling our kits,” Wren says, and my stomach drops to my toes. “He’s culling the boys so there’s less competition for the males. This is a long time coming. He has proven impossible to overthrow. He needs to die.”

“So you’ve tried this already?”

Wren is quiet for a long time. Ian inhales deeply for the first time in minutes.

“I’ve made promises I must keep. Alpin needs to die, and I cannot do it myself, not when he still has favor with some of the stronger men. He’s already tortured and killed entire family units for simple grievances. An attempt on his life threatens the whole skulk, which is why I have to take them and run.”

“And where will you go?”

“Anywhere. It doesn’t matter, but in return, you’ll go free, with your mate. I can promise you that. I will swear it on my life.”

“Then swear it,” Ian cuts in bluntly, his voice void of emotion.

I can’t see it, but I can sense Wren, an Alpha male in his own right because only an Alpha male whose every thought is on the well-being of his pack would… kneel and beg.

“Help me, and you will go free. She will go with the others at dusk. She will be safe. I swear it on the Goddess. No harm will come to her.”