Chapter 55: Chapter. 55

I stayed seated, hanging my head in shame, until all the Dryns left the room. Without exception, they had each expressed their surprise at Luther’s deciding vote, but Luther had remained unyielding.

I couldn’t fathom, after everything we’d been through together, why Luther judged me so detestable that he couldn’t bring himself to marry me for political reasons. Thanks to Gallen and Cleta, it became evident that this was the solution we were looking for all along, one that would be nearly impossible for Thornland to contest. So why was he still refusing?

I watched as he got up to leave, crossing the room in two regal strides. The words poured out of me before I could stop to consider the proper way of expressing how I felt.

“I’ve always thought that we shared the same vision, you and I,” I blurted out.

Luther’s step hesitated on the threshold of the room. His shoulders slumped ever-so-slightly.

How is he the one annoyed at me?

After lingering for long enough to let me wonder whether he was going to simply walk away, Luther turned around to face me.

“We do,” he finally answered.

“But…?” I insisted, mustering the little courage I had left.

“Tatiana,” Luther replied impatiently. “I can’t marry you.”

“Can’t or won’t?” I asked, stepping forward.

Luther raised a hand, warding me back. “I have already told you, Tatiana. Things are more complicated than you think. Some elements are out of my control.”

Nothing is out of your control, I thought.

“What elements? Luther, what are you talking about?”

“I am Voke’s king, Tatiana. I have a responsibility to my people. Thornland is a threat to our kingdom, and it is up to me to protect it.”

“I know that,” I said. “But then why choose-”

“Tatiana,” Luther interrupted. “I’m not going to pretend like I’ve never cared for you. I did, and I still do. But marrying you is not the right solution.”

“But…,” I paled.

Luther turned back to leave the room.

“Please don’t walk away,” I asked him weakly. “We’ve shared so much together. Don’t I deserve to understand the decision you’re making?”

Luther hesitated again, before looking at me.

“It was wrong of me to let myself get close to you. I’ve led you on. I should have realized that you were raised with different morals that don’t allow multiple lovers.”

My head started spinning wildly. Multiple lovers?

“I’m seeing someone else, Tatiana. And I owe it to her not to marry anyone.”

The sting of his words stupefied me. Anger quickly pushed away the numbness.

“Don’t you owe it to your kingdom to avoid a war?” my voice whipped out.

“I’m sorry,” Luther said. “My decision is final.”

And he left.

I stood in the great, empty council room, seething. But then fear replaced the anger. I stumbled towards a chair.

How can Luther do this to me?

A small voice at the back of my mind told me that I didn’t deserve any better than to be treated callously, that as a half-human, half-demon, I was nothing, no one. I would never be loved.

I rose up, leaning against the table for strength, gripping its edge to hold myself up.

No, I thought. I won’t let him obstruct my goals.

Years of abuse by a man I had considered my father hadn’t been able to break me. My own death hadn’t been able to break me. I wouldn’t let a misguided king do so. But why did this hurt far more than Franco’s occasional beatings, more even than a sharp blade in my stomach? I remembered that Luther had told me to trust no one at court on our first dinner together.

After all, he is living up to his advice, I thought. I have to go, I decided. Back to Thornland.

Luther might not want to stop the war anymore, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t abide by my convictions. I marched back to my bedroom and started gathering supplies. The few months I had spent in Voke had left me much better prepared for a solitary journey than the first time I escaped a kingdom.

I took an inventory of my belongings, sorting out the items I needed: the butcher’s knife Louise had given me in Franco’s castle; a small pouch filled with medicinal herbs; a few changes of clothes.

Soft footsteps in the corridor outside interrupted my preparations. I shoved everything in a corner, unwilling to reveal my plans to anyone, including Duna. Someone knocked at the door. I opened cautiously and was greeted by Gaia throwing her arms around me.

“Gallen told me everything,” she said. “It’s unbelievable. I told him that I would go and talk some sense into Luther myself, but apparently questioning the high-council decisions is considered treason. Although, when they’re as stupid as this one, I simply don’t understand why,” she affirmed, pacing around.

“It’s okay,” I answered, trying to hide my distress. “Luther’s right. Thornland would have declared war anyways.”

Gaia furrowed her brow. “Did you and Luther drink one too many of your herbal decoctions?” she examined my face. “You do look a bit pale…”

“I’m fine, Gaia,” I answered. “I’ve just made my peace with his decision.”

Gaia stared at something behind me. I bit my lip. Had she noticed my poorly hidden pack and supplies?

“What is all this?” she asked sternly, confirming my doubts.

“I’m cleaning up,” I lied.

Gaia strode across the room to take a closer look. “At peace with his decision?” she repeated. “Does his decision involve you sneaking out of the castle to surrender to Thornland?”

“I…” I hesitated. My resolution faltered. It was impossible to lie to Gaia. “I’m leaving,” I asserted, standing in front of my supplies in a protective stance. “I’m sorry, Gaia, but you can’t stop me.”

Gaia’s face darkened. “And what will happen, do you think, when Duke Franco gets his precious interpreter back?”

“I’ll be hanged,” I gulped, my throat closing.

“Or you’ll be tortured for every piece of valuable information that you’ve learned about Voke, and then hanged. And then Thornland will attack us, only now they’ll have valuable strategic insights.”

I stared at her, dumbfounded. I’d never had diplomatic discussions with Gaia, and I was learning that she was as savvy as any of the Dryns.

“I have to try,” I insisted. “Plus, all I’m doing here is causing everyone trouble...even you are being harassed because of me. Surely, you can’t disagree with that?”

“I’m not being harassed because of you Tatiana. I’m being harassed because I chose to be friends with you, despite what everyone might think. You’re my friend, and I love you. And I need my friend’s support, so I won’t let you hurt her,” she chuckled.

I blushed. No one had ever told me that they loved me before.

“Come on,” Gaia said, as she started sorting away my pack and its contents. “Don’t get all flustered. You and I have some work to do. Gallen’s been challenged in marriage. I’ve heard that you were pretty good at fighting so I’m going to need your help training if I don’t want to lose my husband, on top of my child,” she laughed humorlessly.

I snapped out of my thoughts. “Wait, a woman did what?!!”