Chapter 60
Sarah, I hope you don't mind me contacting you. I'm a friend of William's and I think you need to hear some truths. I know some of what happened with Berky and what she said to you. I also know why. I need to talk to you about this.
Emma, No contact details.
I responded to her email.
Sarah, Liar.
I focus on the important task—buying Christmas vouchers for distant family members. Within minutes, another message from Emma appears.
I have been trying to Broadbeach floods my mind, a sudden replay of everything William and the fantasy by the sea. No. He’s gone; he never existed. Emma’s email confuses me; how can any woman be okay with his actions?
I don’t reply, but the message follows me all day, popping into my head as soon as my mind is empty of thoughts. Pushed-away surface, as if those few lines had poked a hole in the box I held everything inside. What if there is more to this? Why after four months would Emma choose to contact me?
When my dreams are filled with William for the first time in months, I know I have to see Emma. He has a grip on my headspace again if he’s back in my subconscious. If Emma can explain the things he didn’t, I could get the closure I need.
* * *
In the expensive cafe where I normally meet Tara, comfy took me on familiar ground. Emma on—the fact she takes a trip out to Bristol to speak to me indicates how important this is to her.
The last time I saw Emma in the dark I thought William was hitting on her. All I know is she’s short with long dark hair.
A woman a little older than me, wearing skinny jeans and a tailored brown coat strolls into the bar. Her long dark hair shines and, despite her lack of height, she takes up a lot of space in the room through her presence.
A few heads turn; she’s dressed simply and inexpensively but she’s stunning. This has to be Emma. If I’d seen her face that night at the party, my jealousy would’ve been tenfold.
She searches the room and when she sees me, she waves as if I’m an old friend. I give a half-wave back, heart thumping already. As Emma orders a drink, I debate whether to leave. What the hell am I doing, allowing myself to be dragged back into this? I was moving on.
Apart from I wasn’t; who am I kidding?
Emma slides her china cup of coffee across the table as she sits on the chair opposite me. “Is the food any good here?” She has a Welsh burr to her accent, stronger than William’s.
“Pretty good; great cakes.”
“I might order something, I haven’t eaten lunch.” She picks up the laminated menu.
“Was the drive from London okay?” I ask.
“Not bad, thanks,” she replies, still studying the menu.
I expected awkwardness, but Emma is at ease, behaving as if we’ve known each other for years. No formal greeting, just straight chatting. I hope this will make the conversation easier.
I take a deep breath. I don’t have patience for small talk. “Why did you wait until now to contact me about William?”
My abruptness doesn’t faze her; she merely glances at me before running a finger along the list of meals. “Because I only just found out what happened. I hadn’t seen William since July.”
Which means… “Is he back in England?”
“Yes, he got back a couple of days ago.”
The knowledge William is in the same country again knocks my world off its axis; the surety I won’t see him now is gone. What if he starts stalking me again?
My awesome response to this information? “Oh.”
Finally, Emma places the menu on the table and folds her hands onto the table. “He’s not good, Sarah.”
“He’s nothing to do with me anymore,” I say quietly. “We knew each other for a few weeks, I found out what he’d done and everything ended. We probably would’ve ended anyway.”
“But everything shouldn’t have ended like they did. I think William is as cut up about what you think of him as he is about things not working out between you.”
I stiffen and lower my voice. “He didn’t give me any reason to think anything else. Someone told me he’d raped her; he wouldn’t explain. Why would I believe anything different from what Berky told me in this situation?”
Emma rubs her pink-painted lips together. “Let me order and we’ll talk about this. Is that okay?”
As she stands at the counter, I deliberate whether to stay. Is she giving me a chance to leave? Already my mind heaves the conversations with William back to the forefront. What does she mean he’s not good?
Emma returns and lowers herself elegantly into the chair opposite. “Are you okay to talk about this?”
“You came all this way, the least I can do is hear you out.”
The familiar noise of my place of retreat fades into the background. The voices and music muffle as my attention switches to Emma. “The reason he won’t explain is because he hates the person he was back then, and blames himself for a lot of what happened. But William didn’t rape Berky.”
I twist some of my hair around my fingers, unsure I want her to continue. “How can you be sure? Nobody knows what happened apart from Berky and William.”
“And Jem. William told me what happened that night and how he was dealing with the situation. I warned him to back off before things got messy.”
Her cryptic statements irritate me. “What do you mean? Don’t tell me half a story.”
“There are secrets between them. Something happened one day at William’s house between the three of them that triggered the whole fucked up situation.
I know some of the story but not all. Afterwards, Berky saw William as the good guy and she wouldn’t let him go. She was… weird. He did some stupid things, rejected her, and this is the outcome.”
Emma isn’t making sense. William, Jem, and an obsessed girl. I drink my coffee, more confused than before.
“Sarah, I can’t explain all this properly and I don’t think it’s my place to. The real reason I came is to ask you to see William and let him talk.”
I choke on the coffee as my throat constricts. Attempting to regain my breath, I stare at her with watering eyes. “No. I can’t.”
Emma passes me a paper napkin and I wipe the coffee from my mouth. I can’t look at her anymore, because the earnest look in her dark brown eyes, and the amount she cares about William, interferes with my resolve.
“Berky has what she wanted, Sarah. She tried and failed to get revenge three years ago, and now she’s managed to get between William and his chance of a new life.” Emma’s soft voice pierces my resolve.