Chapter 137

Dr. Knight

I watched Angela standing there by my hospital bed, her eyes filled with such tender concern and devotion.

The love radiating from her gaze was almost overwhelming--too intense for me to handle in my weakened state.

"She's been here every moment," I thought to myself, noticing the dark circles under her eyes. "She hasn't left my side once."

I didn't feel worthy of such unconditional love. For the first time in my life, I found myself thinking beyond my own needs and desires, genuinely considering what might be best for my son and for her in the long run.

"They deserve better than a man with a damaged heart," I told myself silently.

I needed to be completely honest with myself about the reality of my situation. My health was seriously compromised now--the doctors had confirmed there was no infection, thankfully, but these heart issues weren't going to simply disappear.

"I could have another episode anytime," I worried. "She might spend years being my nurse instead of my wife."

I didn't want Angela to stay with me out of pity or obligation, tying herself to someone who might leave her a widow far too soon.

At that precise moment, as I gazed at her worried face, a profound realization hit me like a thunderbolt--the woman I had been desperately searching for throughout my entire adult life was standing right in front of me, and had been all along.

"How could I have been so blind?" I asked myself, feeling like the biggest fool on earth. "It's been Angela this whole time."

The truth was suddenly so clear it was almost painful to acknowledge.

The perfect girl I'd been seeking everywhere--the one who reminded me of my mother's virtuous character and nurturing spirit--was Angela herself!

She embodied everything I needed in a wife and mother for my children.

She was the ideal woman I'd been hunting for in all the wrong places, while she'd been right beside me the entire time.

"I've wasted so many years," I thought regretfully, "looking for something that was standing right next to me."

I had been utterly stupid, searching high and low across the entire city without ever noticing the amazing woman who was always within arm's reach.

"How many times did I walk right past my own happiness?" I wondered, feeling a deep pang of regret for all the time we'd lost.

I cleared my dry, painful throat and forced myself to repeat the harsh words, even though they tore at my heart as I spoke them.

"Get out of my life, Angela," I said, trying to sound firm despite my weakness. "We cannot be together. I do not love you anymore."

I couldn't meet her eyes as I lied, focusing instead on the hospital ceiling.

"This is for the best," I tried to convince myself. "She deserves someone whole and healthy who can give her a lifetime of love, not just a few uncertain years."

She surprised me completely by leaning closer to my face, her expression suddenly brightening with hope instead of crumbling with hurt as I'd expected.

Her voice was almost playful as she seized on my unintentional confession. "Then you loved me back then?" she asked, her eyes sparkling. "So that means I have a chance to make you love me again, right?"

She grabbed my hand, squeezing it gently. "You wouldn't have said 'anymore' if you never loved me in the first place, Angelo. You can't take that back now."

I shook my head weakly, trying to maintain my resolve despite her clever observation.

"I'm too tired for this conversation now," I insisted, my voice barely above a whisper. "Please just go and take care of our son. He needs you more than I do."

I turned my face slightly away, hoping she couldn't see how much it hurt me to push her away.

"Nathan shouldn't be seeing his father like this anyway," I added, trying to sound reasonable instead of scared.

I had gradually pieced together that I'd been hospitalized for more than ten days already, overhearing bits of conversations between the medical staff who frequently gathered near my door discussing my condition.

They seemed pleased that I had successfully passed what they called the "risk period" by over a week now.

"Ten days of my life, just gone," I thought, trying to remember anything from that lost time.

The only constant seemed to be Angela's presence--she had apparently remained faithfully by my side throughout that entire ordeal.

I also realized I wasn't in the ICU anymore but had been moved to a regular patient room, which was a positive sign.

My breathing had returned to normal too, though I still felt weak.

I hadn't yet received a complete explanation of my cardiac event, but based on my open chest scar and the persistent pain there, it was obvious I'd experienced something akin to a heart attack or other serious cardiac issue.

Being a medical professional myself, I could recognize the signs of major heart surgery without anyone having to tell me.

Angela released a heavy sigh and nodded reluctantly, finally seeming to accept my wishes--at least temporarily.

"Okay, I'll give you some space for now," she conceded, gathering her purse. "But I will definitely come back later to check on you. Don't think you're getting rid of me that easily, Dr. Knight."

She tried to smile, but I could see the hurt in her eyes despite her attempt to keep things light.

"I'll bring you some of that terrible hospital pudding you probably hate as much as I do."

"No," I blurted out more forcefully than intended, still trying to push her away for her own good.

I wasn't thinking clearly, my mind still foggy from medication and the lingering effects of anesthesia.

I wasn't fully aware of my surroundings or even completely confident in my own decision-making.

"You don't understand," I tried to explain. "This isn't just about giving me space. I don't want you coming back at all. It's better for everyone this way."

But Angela was nothing if not persistent. She stood her ground, crossing her arms stubbornly across her chest.

"I will come back whether you like it or not," she stated firmly, her tone leaving no room for argument. "At the very least as a friend who cares about you, or as the mother of your child who needs to update you on how Nathan is doing."

She smiled softly, adding, "Besides, who else is going to sneak you in some decent food? Hospital meals are the worst, and you need your strength."

I didn't have the energy to continue arguing, so I simply closed my eyes without responding, effectively ending the conversation.

Silently, I thanked God that my medical issues weren't related to any sexually transmitted infection.

During my periods of semi-consciousness, my mind had conjured terrible possibilities--fearful thoughts that I might have contracted HIV or AIDS given my extensive history of casual sexual encounters.

"I've been so reckless for so many years," I thought with deep regret.

I felt immensely grateful that this wasn't my diagnosis, allowing me the possibility of pursuing a normal life with my son after all our years of separation.

"At least I can be a father to him now," I thought. "Even if I can't be the husband Angela deserves."

Time passed steadily as I recovered, and true to her word, Angela continued coming to check on me despite my attempts to discourage her.

Her visits became a constant in my hospital routine--sometimes bringing books or magazines, other times just sitting quietly while I rested.

After another full week of recovery, I was feeling significantly stronger, able to move around more independently.

During this particular visit, Angela brought Nathan along to see me, his first visit since my surgery.

I was carefully walking around my hospital room with the assistance of a nurse when they arrived.

The moment Nathan spotted me, his face lit up with pure joy, and he rushed toward me at full speed, throwing his small arms around my waist.

"Dad! Welcome back!" he exclaimed enthusiastically, his voice filled with relief and happiness. "Mom said you were getting better, but I wanted to see for myself! I was so scared when you fell down at our campsite!"

I couldn't help but smile warmly at my son's exuberance, carefully bending down to match his height as much as my still-healing chest would allow.

"I missed you too, son," I replied, ruffling his hair affectionately. "Sorry if I scared you that night. I promise I'm getting stronger every day now."

I was amazed at how natural it felt to interact with him, despite our relatively short time knowing each other.

"It's like he's been mine forever," I thought.

"Dad, can we go home now? Today?" Nathan asked eagerly, bouncing slightly on his toes with excitement.

"Mom got your room all ready, and Grandpa helped me set up a TV so we can watch movies together while you rest! I picked out all your favorites--well, the ones I think might be your favorites since I don't actually know yet, but Mom helped me guess!"

I looked questioningly from the nurse to Angela, confusion evident on my face.

"Home?" I repeated uncertainly. "What home is he talking about?"

I hadn't made any plans yet about where I would go for my recovery period.

My apartment wasn't really set up for someone with limited mobility, and I certainly hadn't discussed moving in with Angela and Nathan.

Just then, my doctor conveniently knocked on the door, entering with a wide, satisfied smile and carrying my chart.

"Well, good news, Dr. Knight! It's finally time for you to get out of here," he announced cheerfully, reviewing my latest test results.

"Your recovery is progressing nicely, and frankly, we need the bed for patients who are actually sick. Plus, I'm tired of having another doctor critiquing our care from the patient's perspective," he added with a good-natured wink.

"Really? Today? I mean right now?" I asked, genuinely surprised and slightly alarmed by the suddenness of it all.

I still had so many loose ends to tie up. My mother, for instance, had no idea I'd been hospitalized for this extended period--I'd instructed my brothers to tell her I was traveling internationally on business to spare her the worry.

"I'm not sure I'm ready to be discharged yet," I stammered, feeling unprepared. "There are arrangements I need to make first."

Angela nodded confidently, seeming completely unruffled by the news.

"Yes, today, and don't worry about a thing, Angelo. We've got it all figured out already," she assured me with a warm smile.

"We're going home together--the three of us. Your things have already been moved to our place."

She spoke as if this had all been decided long ago.

"What home?" I narrowed my eyes suspiciously, looking directly at her.

"When exactly did I agree to this arrangement?"

I felt cornered, though not entirely in an unpleasant way. Part of me was touched by her care, while another part stubbornly clung to my earlier resolve to keep her at a distance.

Sensing the need for a private conversation, Angela turned to the others in the room.

"Could everyone please step out for a few minutes?" she requested politely.

"I need to help Dr. Knight change into his street clothes, and he probably wouldn't appreciate an audience."

She gestured toward the door with a gentle but firm motion.

Nathan immediately made his best puppy-dog expression, his lower lip protruding dramatically.

"Even me, Mommy? I can help Dad too!" he pleaded, clearly not wanting to be separated from me after having just reunited.

"I'm really good at helping! Remember when I helped Grandpa fix the porch swing?"

Angela smiled tenderly at our son and patted his head reassuringly.

"Yes, even you, buddy. This is just grown-up stuff for a few minutes. You can show Dad all your drawings when we get home, okay?"

She guided him toward the door with the others.

"Why don't you ask the nurse to show you where they keep the good juice boxes? The ones with the bendy straws?"

After everyone had left, closing the door behind them, I immediately confronted Angela again.

"What home are you talking about, Angela?" I demanded, my voice low but intense.

"I thought I made myself clear before when I told you to stay away from me. This isn't what I want."

Even as I said the words, I knew they lacked conviction. My heart wasn't in the argument anymore.

She approached me slowly, her eyes never leaving mine, and gently cupped my face between her warm hands.

Her touch was so tender it nearly broke my resolve instantly.

"Just marry me, Angelo," she said simply, as if it were the most obvious solution in the world.

No games, no manipulation--just an honest request from her heart.

"Angela!" I exclaimed, shocked by her directness.

"You can't just--I mean, we haven't even--" I stuttered, completely thrown off balance by her proposal.

Part of me wanted to say yes immediately, while another part still feared what the future might hold with my health concerns.

"Knight!" she countered, using my last name the way she sometimes did when she was being especially serious.

"Marry me, please," she continued, her voice softening into a gentle plea.

"You owe me this much after everything. Please marry me--if not for us, then at least for Nathan's sake."

As she spoke, her eyes shimmered with such pure, unconditional love that it was almost blinding in its intensity.

There was no pity there, no obligation--just love in its most authentic form.

She truly was an angel, just as her name suggested--my guardian angel who had watched over me all these years without my even realizing it.

I carefully lowered myself to sit on the edge of the hospital bed, needing to take some weight off my still-weak legs.

My expression grew serious as I voiced my deepest fear.

"Are you absolutely sure about this, Angela? I'm not even certain if I'll be... well, sexually capable of--"

I hesitated, embarrassed to discuss such intimate concerns but feeling she deserved complete honesty.

"The doctors mentioned that some heart medications can affect... certain functions. I don't want you trapped in a marriage that can't be... fully realized."

Before I could finish articulating my concerns, she gently placed her fingers against my lips, silencing me mid-sentence.

"I don't care about sex, Angelo," she whispered softly, her eyes filled with sincerity.

"I mean, I do care about intimacy, but that's not why I want to marry you. I want you--just you, exactly as you are. Whatever challenges come, we'll face them together."

She moved her hand to caress my cheek. "There are many ways to express love, you know."

"What about your fiancé?" I asked, raising an eyebrow curiously.

The question had been bothering me for some time.

"The guy you were engaged to when we reconnected--what happened with him?"

I genuinely wanted to understand what had transpired in her life during our years apart.

She shook her head dismissively, a proud smile playing on her lips.

"What fiancé? That relationship was never real," she admitted candidly.

"He tried his best to replace you in my heart, but he couldn't even come close. I never allowed him to touch me intimately--not once."

She took my hands in hers. "My heart has only ever belonged to one man, and he's sitting right in front of me now, trying his hardest to push me away even though I know he loves me too."

"Okay," I said softly, my voice barely audible as the last of my resistance crumbled away.

My heart had made its decision long before my head caught up.

"Okay what?" she pressed, her eyes widening with hopeful anticipation.

She stared deeply into my eyes, as if trying to read my thoughts and make sure I wasn't going to change my mind again.

"You need to say it clearly, Angelo. I've waited too long for half-answers."

Without further hesitation, I gently pulled her closer and captured her lips in a tender, soft kiss--our first real kiss as adults who knew exactly what they wanted.

Between our gentle kisses, I finally surrendered to what I had known all along.

"I'm going to marry you, Angela," I whispered against her lips, feeling a weight lift from my chest that had nothing to do with my surgery.