Chapter 11: Cross the Line

WHEN I turned to the audience, my irritation automatically disappeared. Aside from Cain, these people had been my saving grace for the past years. I may be tired, but I wouldn’t show that in front of these happy faces right now. Fortunately, I had gained back my voice a few days ago. I could do this.

My manager Agatha was in the corner, worried. She was the one who had been strict on telling me to avoid singing for a while. Agatha didn’t want me to cause a strain to my voice. But I rehearsed in secret; maybe because I had an idea that Kylie would resort to this. The woman was desperate, after all. And I know what a desperate person could do. I had been through that before.

Agatha glared at Kylie. My manager was a Vampire and among Cain’s servants, too. My team, from my driver, assistant, make-up artist, stylist, Chef, down to my bodyguards were all Vampires. I’d been surrounded by them for almost two years now.

I smiled at Agatha to assure her before she used mass hypnotism on the host and audience. We were airing live tonight. The people who were watching online and, on their televisions, would certainly notice if something went amiss. Besides, as much as possible, I didn’t want them to keep using their abilities on humans like me except if there was an emergency.

And this was no emergency.

“This song is entitled, ‘Cross the Line’. This will be available for streaming starting next week. This is for everyone who is struggling to cross the line.” I stared at the camera. “This is… for you. For us.” I began singing when the crowd became silent. “There are now many secrets hiding inside your eyes, secrets that separate the two of us. Secrets that create a line between you and I. Let me cross that line. Let me be with you again. We used to be together through fear and pain, through sunshine and rain. I’m soaking in the rain now. I feel so cold, can’t I be with you again? Let me feel your warm embrace, your big and gentle hands on my face. I’ll cross the line many times for you. Please cross it for me, too…”

I held the microphone tightly when I remembered my father. I wrote the song for him, hoping he would remember me and our dream, hoping we could restart again that’s why it was a very emotional song for me.

“Why are you leaving? Don’t you like it here? Mama’s gone and Kurt already left, Pa. Please don’t leave me, too,” I remembered telling him when I saw him in the living room with his luggage. I just had our dream house built. Kurt even designed it himself before he had an accident.

But Kurt only stayed overnight and then left in a hurry the next day as if he was being chased by a ghost. And now, here was Dad, carrying his luggage first thing in the morning. We haven’t even had breakfast yet. It was too early for another bitter goodbye.

“Stay with me, ‘Pa. Please.” I was about to reach for his hand but he stepped away. My only consolation was that I wasn’t the only one who got hurt. I saw pain flash in his eyes, too. But if he was hurting, too, then why was he doing this? “What seems to be the problem? Please tell me so I could do something about it.”

“I’m sorry, Natasha,” he said in a broken voice. “The problem is me. Maybe I was also the reason why Kurt left. Maybe he couldn’t bear to stay with me under one roof. I want to go back to our old apartment.” He avoided my gaze. “I wish to stay there since your Mother and I had lots of memories there.”

I was quiet for a moment. I could have bought that property but I chose not to. We may have had many happy memories in that apartment, but the most heartbreaking memories I had also happened in that place. Memories where I had to take care of Mama’s funeral all by myself, where I almost lost my voice screaming at the pesky reporters who didn’t even respect our privacy, memories where the Ricafortes showed up with so many cameras and I had to deal with them on my own. I remembered how my lower lip bled because I had to bite it too roughly to stop myself from screaming at the unwelcomed guests.

“If you will leave, then what about me? This place is too big for me. We can look for a smaller house if you want, just not in that apartment, Pa. We can live anywhere and it won’t matter to me as long as I get to be with you.”

“Natasha, I want to be alone.”

“Don’t you want to be with me? Why is it so easy for you and Kurt to leave me? Is there something wrong with me? Please tell me so I can fix it, Pa.”

“No, nothing’s wrong with you. But things are different now. You changed. Kurt and I did, too. I think it’s best if I stay away for now. Forgive me, Tash.”

And then Papa left without turning his back. He had been staying in that apartment for over a year now. He bought it later on through the money he inherited from Adam Montealvo.

We have money, prestige, and connection now. But our family was still a mess.

“People have different ways of handling the pain, Natasha. The pain you all are feeling right now is different, too,” Cain once told me. “You told me that your mother is your father’s best friend, too, right? He had lost not only a wife, but a partner and a best friend, too. Kurt’s pain was also different. Because no matter how much you tell him that he was not the reason why your father had to admit someone else’s crime for the sake of money and why your mother died over it, he still would not believe it unless he manages to forgive his self. It looks like the three of you are suffering from the guilt and the pain. And I’m sorry I can’t do anything about that, Natasha. Even if I can make you all forget, the emptiness in your chests will linger and it will remain unless you have all been healed.”

“But wouldn’t we heal faster if we are together?”

Cain took me in his arms. “I don’t really know, Natasha. But maybe that was not the case for them.”

I had been waiting for my brother and father to come back. I try to reach out to them as often as I could. I even sent them the key to our house so they could return whenever they want to. And I was worried that I might be waiting forever for them to come around…

“You promised you’d be with me through it all. Remember the times when I’d shake in fear in the middle of sleep and when I’d open my eyes, I’d find you there? I miss that. I miss you. Where are you? I’m still waiting for you to fulfill your promise. Be with me again, please. I’m here standing on the edge. Open your heart to me once again and let me cross, let me cross that line again…”

Most of the audience stood up after I finished singing, they were proudly raising their banners. Papa used to be like that, too. He would hold that banner so high with a proud look on his face and would say, “that’s my daughter.”

But now, Papa and Kurt had never been to any of my concerts even if I invited them many times before. I took a deep breath to stop myself from being emotional. Once I was calmed enough, I smiled at the audience appreciatively before bowing to them.

When the show was over, Kylie looked for me at the backstage and handed me a bottled water.

“Natasha, about the questions, I’m sorry. I wasn’t informed that I wasn’t supposed to ask you those things. I also didn’t know that you were having a hard time with your voice these days. But all is good, right? I mean you were able to answer the questions. You sang well, too.” When I remained quiet, she pressed on. “By the way, do you still remember the gold bracelet I sent over your place? I bought that myself. I hope you’d wear it one of these days. And when you do, kindly post it on social media and mention my name.”

I coldly stared at Kylie after accepting the bottled water. Who was this woman kidding? Even a kid wouldn’t buy that lame excuse. If I happened to make a mistake earlier and my voice cracked, Kylie would be the first to laugh. As the host herself, it was impossible that she didn’t go over the questionnaire before the show started. If I’d leave her be, this woman would keep behaving like this in the future without learning a single thing.

“Oh, the bracelet? I didn’t like the design, but my Manager liked it so I gave it to her instead. Don’t worry; she said she’ll take good care of it on my behalf.” Kylie gasped. “And before I forget, can I ask you a favor?”

When she regained her composure, her face lit up. “S-sure! Anything to make up for tonight’s mishap. What is it? Just tell me and I’ll do it.”

“I’m a little tired tonight. Could you please tell the Management that I’m considering it?”

“Considering what? I need to understand the details so I can relay the message properly.”

“Tell them that I’m considering their offer to take over your show.”

Kylie was stunned. I sweetly smiled at her after drinking the water. I gave her back the bottled water and patted her shoulder before leaving.