Chapter 10: Sleepless nights

Scarlett's POV

My glass slipped from my hand and shattered against the kitchen floor.

"Sorry," I whispered, dropping to my knees to pick up the pieces. "I didn't know anyone else was awake."

"Don't." Kai moved forward quickly. "You'll cut yourself."

He grabbed a towel and knelt beside me, our hands accidentally touching as we both reached for the same piece of glass. The contact sent electricity through my arm.

We froze, inches apart, surrounded by broken glass that felt like a metaphor for everything between us.

"I've got it," Kai said quietly, continuing to clean up the mess. "Go sit down."

I wanted to argue, but my legs felt weak. I pulled myself onto a kitchen stool and watched him gather the shattered pieces.

The silence stretched between us like a living thing.

"Couldn't sleep?" Kai asked finally, dumping the glass into the trash.

"No." My voice was barely above a whisper. "You?"

"Not even a little." He leaned against the counter, keeping distance between us. "Too much in my head."

"Me too."

More silence. But it felt different now—less angry, more exhausted. Like we were both too tired to fight anymore.

"I'm sorry," I said suddenly. "For what I told Madison. That was wrong."

Kai looked surprised. "You're apologizing?"

"Don't sound so shocked. I'm capable of admitting when I've messed up."

"Could have fooled me." But there was no real bite in his words. Just sadness.

I pulled my knees up to my chest, making myself smaller. "I shouldn't have sabotaged you. That was petty and cruel, and Madison didn't deserve it."

"No, she didn't." Kai grabbed a glass and filled it with water, then slid it across the counter to me. "But I don't think you did it just to be mean."

I took the glass with shaking hands. "Then why?"

"Because watching me with her hurt. And you wanted me to hurt too."

The truth in his words made my chest ache. "Is that so wrong? You got to move on. Build a life. Be successful. I got to watch it all happen from a distance, knowing I threw away my only chance at happiness."

Kai was quiet for a long moment. "You think I moved on?"

"Didn't you?"

"I wrote an entire album about you, Scarlett. Every song, every lyric, every note was about losing you." He ran his hand through his hair, making it stick up in ways that used to make me laugh. "The record label loved it. Said heartbreak sells. They had no idea I was dying inside while I performed."

My throat closed up. "I didn't know."

"Of course you didn't. You disappeared so completely it was like you never existed." His voice cracked. "Do you have any idea how that felt? Wondering if you were okay? If you were even alive?"

"I thought it would be easier for you if I just vanished."

"Easier?" Kai laughed bitterly. "I filed a missing person's report. Spent six months thinking you might be dead or hurt or kidnapped. Then I found out through mutual friends that you were fine. Just didn't want to talk to me."

Guilt crashed over me in waves. "I'm so sorry."

"Why?" The question was simple but loaded with five years of pain. "Why did you do it like that? If you really wanted to leave, you could have at least given me closure."

I stared at my water glass, watching condensation drip down the sides. This was my chance to tell him everything. The real reason I left. The fear that had driven me away.

"Your manager called me," I started slowly. "About three weeks before our wedding. He said the record label wanted to sign you, but there were conditions."

Kai went very still. "What kind of conditions?"

"No serious relationships. No distractions. Complete focus on your music for at least five years." The words tumbled out faster now. "He said if you got married, they'd drop you. That you had to choose between me and your dream."

"And you made the choice for me."

"I saw how hard you'd worked. How much you wanted it. I couldn't be the reason you gave it up."

"So you left without even discussing it with me?" Kai's voice rose slightly. "Without giving me a say in my own life?"

"I knew what you'd choose! You would have picked me, and then you'd spend the rest of your life wondering what could have been. You'd resent me eventually."

"Or maybe I would have been happy!" Kai pushed away from the counter. "Maybe I would have chosen you because you were more important than any record deal!"

"And maybe you would have regretted it!" I stood up too, facing him across the kitchen. "Maybe five years from now, you'd look at me and wish you'd chosen differently!"

"That wasn't your decision to make!"

"Someone had to make it!" Tears streamed down my face now. "Because I knew you, Kai. I knew you'd sacrifice everything for me, and I couldn't live with that guilt!"

"So instead, you made me live with the guilt of thinking I did something wrong!" His voice broke. "I spent years wondering what I'd done to make you stop loving me!"

"I never stopped loving you!" The confession burst out of me before I could stop it. "Not for one single day!"

The words hung in the air between us like a bomb waiting to explode.

Kai stared at me, his chest heaving with emotion. "What did you just say?"

"I never stopped loving you," I repeated, quieter this time. "Walking away from you was the hardest thing I've ever done. It broke me, Kai. Completely shattered me into pieces I'm still trying to put back together."

"Then why didn't you come back?" His voice was raw. "Why didn't you call or text or give me any sign you still cared?"

"Because you were succeeding! You were becoming everything you'd dreamed of, and I couldn't ruin that. I had to let you go completely so you could fly."

"I didn't want to fly. I wanted to be with you."

"You say that now, but—"

"No." Kai moved closer, closing the distance between us. "Don't tell me what I felt. Don't tell me what I wanted. You don't get to rewrite history to make yourself feel better about running away."

"I wasn't running away. I was setting you free."

"Same thing." His eyes bore into mine. "You were so scared of being vulnerable, so terrified of being the reason I failed, that you destroyed us both instead."

"I thought I was protecting you!"

"You were protecting yourself!" Kai's voice dropped to something almost gentle. "And I get it. I do. Love is terrifying. The possibility of being someone's biggest regret is paralyzing. But Scarlett, you didn't give us a chance to figure it out together."

Tears blurred my vision. "I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry."

"I know." He reached up like he might wipe away my tears, then stopped himself. "But sorry doesn't fix what's broken."

"Then what does?"

"I don't know." His hand dropped back to his side. "Maybe nothing. Maybe some things are too broken to fix."

The words felt like a death sentence.

"Is that what we are?" I whispered. "Too broken to fix?"

Kai opened his mouth to answer, but before he could speak, the kitchen lights blazed on.

We jumped apart like we'd been caught doing something wrong.

Jake Morrison stood in the doorway with his phone out, recording. Behind him, a camera crew was setting up equipment with terrifying efficiency.

"Don't stop on my account," Jake said with that shark smile. "This is perfect. Keep talking—America needs to hear this."

My blood turned to ice. "How long have you been filming?"

"Long enough." Jake gestured to his crew. "Get better angles. I want to see both their faces."

"Turn off the cameras," Kai demanded, stepping in front of me protectively. "This is private."

"Nothing is private when you're on my show." Jake checked his phone screen. "That confession about still loving him? Pure gold, Scarlett. The audience is going to eat it up."

Horror washed over me. "You can't air that."

"I can and I will. It's in your contract." He looked between us with barely contained excitement. "Now, where were we? Oh yes—Kai was about to tell Scarlett whether they're too broken to fix. Please, continue. We're all dying to know."

Kai's hands curled into fists. "Get out."

"Or what? You'll hit me? On camera?" Jake laughed. "That would actually make great television too."

I felt sick. Everything I'd just confessed—all my deepest fears and feelings—was about to be broadcast for millions of people to see.

"Please," I begged. "Don't do this."

"Too late." Jake pocketed his phone. "This footage is already uploading to our servers. By morning, the editors will have cut together the most dramatic scenes for tomorrow's episode."

He started to leave, then paused at the door.

"Oh, and one more thing. We're doing a special segment tomorrow where you both watch this footage together and react to it. Should be fascinating to see how you handle watching yourselves admit you still love each other."

The door swung shut behind him, leaving Kai and me standing in the bright kitchen lights with cameras still recording our every reaction.

I looked at Kai, panic rising in my chest. "He's going to twist everything. Make it look worse than it was."

"It doesn't matter." Kai's voice was hollow. "He already got what he wanted."

"What's that?"

"The truth." Kai finally met my eyes. "We just confessed everything on camera. There's no taking it back now."

My legs felt weak again. "What do we do?"

"I don't know." Kai looked as lost as I felt. "But Scarlett, that question I was about to answer before Jake interrupted?"

"Yes?"

He stepped closer, so close I could feel the heat from his body.

"I think we both need to figure out the answer before we watch that footage tomorrow. Because once America sees this, everything changes."

"Changes how?"

Kai's expression was unreadable. "That depends on whether you're ready to stop running and start fighting for what you really want."

Before I could ask what he meant, he walked out of the kitchen, leaving me alone with the cameras and a choice I wasn't sure I was brave enough to make.