Chapter 35: Chapter Thirty-Five: Lithium

Evan

Helaine clung to me with tears streaming down her face and I was suddenly very aware of the blood drying on my hand as I smoothed down her hair.

We were a mess, inside and out.

No one took their first kill well. Taking another human life wasn’t supposed to be easy, but there were more layers of it for her.

Through that one brutal action, it was like the darkness in her was roused from sleep. I saw it in her eyes, and there was no way I could pretend that I didn’t.

“It’s going to be alright,” I murmured into her hair, but the words felt hollow even as I said them.

How could I even begin to define “alright” for her right now?

Whatever happened, whatever path she chose, I knew that I’d follow her. I’d take a thousand lives if it meant getting to twine mine with hers. It wasn’t as though spilling blood was new to me.

Lilith called me Helaine’s champion, and she wasn’t wrong.

But that wasn’t what Helaine needed to hear right now and as she clung to me, trembling as sobs wracking her seemingly fragile body, I knew I needed to be careful.

“Let’s go,” I urged, pressing a kiss to her forehead before I slowly backed away from her. “We should leave before there are any more witnesses so we don’t ruin our cover.”

She nodded, not saying a word as she settled into the passenger seat. I’d have given anything to know what was going through her head right now, but whatever she was thinking about, she wasn’t sharing.

Closing her door, I made my way into the passenger seat, and we left the massacre at The Rose Gardens behind us.

Part of me regretted stopping there at all. It might’ve been harder for the slayers to track us if I hadn’t decided to make a rest stop, but in the same breath, it could have been so much worse if they were able to follow us to Frank Fairgrieve’s house.

From what I understood, Frank was never a good father, but I’d have to have been a fool not to notice that Helaine had a lot of complicated feelings about him.

If he had been collateral damage in a bloodbath like what we just left behind, Helaine might’ve never recovered.

Especially if it stopped her from getting the answers she needed.

Out on the open road, I rested my hand on her thigh, offering a reassuring squeeze. “I’m here for you, you know. No matter how hard things get.”

“You could have been killed.” Her voice was barely above a whisper, and she almost seemed to shrink into her seat.

“I wasn’t.” She didn’t need to know what a close call it was. Those silver knuckle dusters caught me off guard, and I very nearly paid for it. “I was more worried about you.”

Sucking in a shuddering breath, she shook her head. “If we didn’t leave the city to confront my dad, none of this ever would have happened.”

“I’m the one who suggested we take this trip in the first place, so don’t go blaming yourself.” The corners of my lips pulled down into a grimace as I watched her in the rear-view mirror. She looked devastated, and the guilt in her eyes made my chest tighten. “If you want to blame someone, blame me for not warning you that this could happen.”

“Of course I don’t blame you, you’re used to the dangers.” Her eyes widened as she gawked at me, like it hurt her just to consider that any of this was my fault. “Why would you think to warn me when this is normal for you?”

“Because it’s not normal for you.”

The bulbs flickered in the old lamp-posts that illuminated the under-kept parking lot as we entered, and Helaine sat up a bit to get a better look at the concrete building at the end of it.

“Where are we now?” There was an edge of worry in her tone, and I couldn’t blame her after the last stop we’d made.

“It’s a truck-stop,” I explained, putting the car in park near the building. “I figured we should clean up before we go much further.”

Her eyes flitted over me. She wasn’t quite as much of a mess, but I was covered in blood, and I’d gotten my handprints all over her. “That’s . . . probably for the best.”

“The last thing we need is to get pulled over looking like this.” But that wasn’t the real reason I wanted to get the blood off of us.

Cops were no big deal—I could manipulate them every bit as easily as I did when I took care of that hotel employee, but Helaine was struggling right now, and the sooner we got all of this gore off of us, the better.

I got out of the el camino first, crossing around the front of it so I could open Helaine’s door for her.

She offered me a small smile, but I could tell it was forced, and it made my chest ache.

“What about our clothes?” She tugged at her shirt, stained by my own handprints.

My clothes were worse, but it had been a long time since I’d been bothered by a little blood.

“Sorry about that.” In the moment, I hadn’t considered how she’d feel about it all. I was in a frenzy, and the way she killed that slayer only made me want her that much more. Even if she wanted it just as much at the time, I should’ve made sure she was okay first. “I’ve got extra clothes in the back.”

Opening the el camino’s bed-cover for her, I stood back with a soft sigh. It’d been a long time since I’d driven this old thing, and the contents of the bed were like a time capsule of decades gone by.

Artifacts of the life I used to have.

“Go ahead and pick something for us.” Taking a few steps away, I turned my back to the el camino and the memories it held. “Your hands are a lot cleaner than mine.”

In more ways than one.

Nothing hurt like remembering those days, and the night that ruined everything I’d ever built. I didn’t have the luxury of falling apart now, not when Helaine needed me to stay strong for her.

“Got it,” she called as she pulled the bed cover closed, a big bundle of clothes wadded up under her arm.

Thankfully, the showers were as deserted as the rest of the parking lot, so there was no one to question us as we pealed off our bloody clothes and climbed into one of the shower stalls together.

Helaine let out a small sigh of relief when the hot water cascaded over us, her eyes closed as she basked in the cleansing heat.

The dried blood caked up my arm reddened the lather of the cheap body wash on offer, and my nose wrinkled at the chemical smell. 

The bath at The Rose Gardens was the sort of thing I wanted to offer Helaine, not a quick wash in some random truck stop, but it didn’t seem like she much cared where we were.

She hardly moved at all, not washing, just letting the water run over her body.

“Here.” I broke the silence, pumping shampoo into my palm and lathering it between my hands. “Let me wash your hair.”

She nodded, turning her back to me, letting me massage her scalp as my cock brushed against her ass.

I had no intention of having sex with her here, not in her raw state of mind after killing that slayer, but it seemed she had other ideas when she pushed her ass against me.

“Fuck me,” she begged, leaning her head back against my shoulder, looking up at me with pleading eyes when I didn’t answer her right away.

“I don’t think you’re in the right state of mind, Angel.” I shook my head, watching the soapy water pour down her body as she turned to face me. “It wouldn’t be right.”

“You think you’d be taking advantage of me? After everything we’ve done together?” Her hand was tense when she rested it on my chest, but she took a deep breath, trying to calm herself before she spoke again. “No, Evan, I just want a release so I can feel like myself again.”

“You’re sure?” Taking her face in my hands, my eyes searched hers, looking for any signs of hesitation and finding none.

This time, her hands cupped my face as well as she looked up at me. “Please . . . Sir?”

“How could I say no to you?”

I swept her into my arms as I kissed her, her mouth moving in tandem with mine as the hot water rolled over our bodies.

She gasped against my lips when her back hit the tiles of the shower stall’s wall and I grabbed her thigh as she hitched her leg up over my hip, pressing her cunt against my cock.

“Skip the foreplay this time,” she murmured against my lips, carding her fingers through my hair as she kissed me again. “I want you inside of me.”

I leaned my forehead against hers as I lined the head of my cock up with her entrance. “Fine, but I get to look into those beautiful eyes when I make you come undone.”

“Yes, Sir—” Her words devolved into a breathy moan against my mouth as I thrust my cock into her, gripping her ass as her legs squeezed my hips.

The wall creaked as I rocked into her over and over at a steady rhythm, drinking in all the little sounds of pleasure falling from her lips.

Hooking an arm beneath her to keep her steady, my other hand slipped between us to play with that bundle of nerves at the apex of her thighs.

She squeezed her eyes shut tight, crying my name as I continued to fuck her while the water washed away everything but the bond between us.

When I was inside of her, it didn’t matter that she was the anti-christ. She was Helaine, she was my angel, and the only thing she needed to focus on was the pleasure I had to give her.

Kissing her deeply, I caught her plush bottom lip between my teeth, dragging a moan out of her as I fucked her harder, rolling my hips against hers in a fluid rhythm.

She clung to me like she was desperate, like if she didn’t hold on tight I’d disappear, and then she’d be left all alone with the spiraling thoughts in her mind.

But that was never going to happen. From the moment I first laid eyes on her, I knew I’d never be able to leave her well enough alone.

Now that I knew how badly she wanted me—needed me—I was hers forever, and nothing short of a stake to the heart was ever going to change that.