Chapter 79: All I Want...
Elowyn
By midday, I realize people have started following me with their eyes. Not just guards. Not just nobles. Not just omegas. Literally everyone. The realization settles uncomfortably beneath my skin as I move through the palace corridors with one of the healers explaining supply shortages somewhere beside me.
“…the northern supply stores survived the attack mostly intact, but several transport routes are still unusable after the battle…”
I nod automatically while barely hearing half the conversation because every time I pass another room or hallway, someone stops talking. Some lower their heads respectfully. Others stare openly. A few still look nervous when I walk by. That one bothers me the most. People fear me. I don't entirely blame them because I understand where it comes from now. The war ended three days ago and already stories are spreading faster than truth. The Scarlet Luna held open the realm herself. The Goddess answered her magic. The realm bent around her power. Every version gets more dramatic. None of them feel like me. I pause near one of the massive western windows while the healer beside me continues explaining inventory reports I stopped listening to several minutes ago. Across the corridor, two younger wolves straighten immediately when they notice me looking their way. One lowers his head respectfully. My stomach twists instantly. I’m starting to hate that reaction. Not the respect itself, but the distance it creates. The healer beside me finally notices I stopped listening several minutes ago and clears her throat awkwardly.
“My apologies, Scarlet Luna.” There it is again. I close my eyes briefly.
“You don’t have to call me that.”
The healer immediately looks horrified.
“I didn’t mean disrespect.”
“I know.” I soften my voice slightly. “I just don’t think I’m ever going to get used to hearing it.”
Relief crosses her face instantly. Everyone looks terrified of saying the wrong thing around me now and that feels strangely lonely.
After another few minutes, I finally escape the conversation under the excuse of needing air and head toward the training courtyards instead. The palace grounds still carry scars from the battle everywhere. Burn marks blacken sections of stone walls while reconstruction crews move lumber and supplies across the damaged courtyards below. Warriors patrol constantly now because nobody trusts the peace yet. Honestly? I don’t either.
The training courtyard sits mostly empty when I arrive. Part of the outer wall collapsed during the battle and several practice dummies remain shredded from claws and magic strikes, but the quiet feels better than the crowded palace corridors. For a while, I just stand there breathing cold air while sunlight spills across broken stone around me. This courtyard changed everything. The realm opened here. Moonstone came home here. Morvena died here. My entire life split into before and after right here on this stone.
“You’re avoiding people.”
Theron’s voice pulls me from my thoughts instantly. I turn slowly to find him standing near the courtyard entrance alone. No guards. No advisors. No crown. Just Theron. The king looks exhausted. Not physically weak. Just worn down in a way I don’t think I ever noticed before the war.
“I needed quiet,” I answer carefully. His gaze drifts across the damaged courtyard.
“I imagine quiet has been difficult to find lately.” That’s one way to put it. For several seconds neither of us speaks. The tension between us feels different now. Still heavy and still complicated, but no longer sharp enough to cut instantly. Theron steps farther into the courtyard slowly. “The nobles are already talking.” A humorless laugh escapes me quietly.
“I figured.”
His eyes shift toward me again.
“You hear it too.”
“People stop talking when I walk into rooms.”
His expression tightens slightly.
“I’m trying to control it.”
I study him quietly for a second.
“That sounds exhausting.”
Something almost like surprise flickers briefly across his face. Maybe because I’m not yelling at him. Honestly, I’m too tired to yell anymore. Theron exhales slowly before speaking again.
“They’re afraid of what they don’t understand.”
“That excuse ruined my family once already.”
The words leave harder than I intended. Pain flashes visibly across his face immediately and I'm glad. Not because I enjoy hurting him, but because he should feel it.
“I know,” he says quietly. Silence settles heavily between us again. The wind shifts through the damaged courtyard carrying distant sounds from the lower palace grounds. Workers rebuilding walls. Children laughing somewhere far below. Life continuing whether any of us feel ready or not. Theron finally speaks again without looking directly at me. “I keep trying to figure out what to say to you.” I stay quiet because I don’t know what he should say either. Nothing fixes this. Nothing gives eighteen years back. Nothing changes what happened to Moonstone. Theron’s jaw tightens slightly. “There isn’t an apology large enough for what I allowed to happen.” Allowed. Interesting choice of words.
“You didn’t just allow it,” I say quietly and his eyes close briefly.
“I know.” For several seconds the only sound comes from the wind moving through the broken courtyard walls. “I was afraid.” He's not defensive or dramatic about it. Just honest. “Morvena convinced me the prophecy would destroy Elaris. Ashwood reinforced every fear already inside the court.” His voice roughens slightly. “And instead of trusting the people who had protected this kingdom for generations…” He trails off because we both know how the sentence ends.
“You destroyed them instead,” I finish quietly and pain flickers across his face again.
“Yes.”
The honesty catches me off guard more than denial would have. No excuses. No political language. No pretending somebody forced him into it. Just truth. I stare down at the cracked stone beneath my feet for several long seconds before speaking again.
“Did you ever think about me?”
The question leaves before I can stop it and Theron stills completely. I don’t even fully know why I asked it. Maybe because everyone talks about prophecy and power and Moonstone like I was born some kind of symbol instead of a person, but I wasn’t. I was a baby. Theron’s expression changes slowly into something devastating.
“Yes,” he says quietly and emotion builds up unexpectedly in my throat.
“What did you think?”
He looks away toward the ruined courtyard wall.
“That you never should have suffered for our failures.” The answer hits harder than I expect. Theron exhales slowly. “After the binding was completed…” His voice lowers slightly. “It doesn't matter what I regretted, but sometimes I would think about what kind of person you might have become if things had been different.” His jaw tightens visibly. “That was usually when the guilt became hardest to live with.”
I don’t know what to do with that honesty because part of me wants to hate him and maybe I should, but standing here now looking at a man who has clearly spent nearly two decades rotting beneath the weight of his own choices feels different than the anger I carried before. Not smaller. Just more complicated.
“I used to think becoming powerful would make me less afraid,” I admit quietly and Theron looks toward me again. “But it doesn’t.” I laugh softly without humor. “If anything, it makes everyone else more afraid instead.” Understanding settles visibly across his face.
“Yes,” he says quietly. “Power isolates people if they stop remembering they are human.” Something about that sentence lands heavily between us because that’s exactly what happened the first time. Fear turned people into symbols instead of people. The Scarlet Luna. The prophecy. Moonstone. Not Callum. Not Elara. Not their child. Just threats. Theron studies me carefully for a long moment before speaking again. “You are nothing like what they feared.” I fold my arms loosely across my chest.
“They still fear me anyway.”
“Some do.”
“At least you’re honest.”
A faint, tired huff of amusement leaves him.
“I’m learning honesty would have saved me considerable suffering years ago.” The understatement almost makes me laugh. “The nobles are going to keep pushing. Not openly yet. But they’re unsettled.”
“Because of Moonstone?”
His gaze stays on mine.
“No Elowyn... Because of you.” I hate how unsurprised I am. Theron continues carefully. “You survived power that should have killed you. You brought an entire pack back from a sealed realm. Soldiers are already spreading stories across the kingdom.”
“I don’t want stories.”
“I know.”
“And I don’t want people lowering their heads every time I walk into a room.”
Something softer enters his expression unexpectedly.
“That may be the exact reason they choose to trust you.” I stare at him quietly. Theron looks out across the courtyard again. “The kingdom has spent too many years ruled by fear pretending to be strength.”
The words settle heavily through me because he’s not just talking about himself. He’s talking about Elaris. About the court. The nobles. The fear that destroyed Moonstone in the first place.
“I don’t know how to be whatever people think I am now,” I admit softly. The confession feels more vulnerable than I intended. Theron studies me quietly before answering.
“Good.” I blink once and he gestures faintly toward the damaged courtyard around us. “The last thing this kingdom needs is another ruler trying to become a myth instead of a person.” The answer catches me off guard enough that an actual laugh escapes before I can stop it. Something in Theron’s expression softens immediately at the sound and suddenly I understand something that hurts unexpectedly deep. He really did love this kingdom once. Maybe he still does. He just lost himself somewhere inside fear and power and prophecy long before I was born. That doesn’t erase what happened, but it changes the shape of it somehow. Footsteps approach the courtyard moments later before Kael finally appears through the broken archway entrance. His eyes find me instantly then Theron. Tension immediately sharpens through his posture. Protective and alert like he’s already calculating whether this conversation became a problem while he was gone. Theron notices it too. A faint huff of amusement leaves him quietly. “She’s not going to disappear because I spoke to her alone for ten minutes.” Kael doesn’t even look remotely embarrassed.
“That’s not the concern.”
Despite myself, another quiet laugh slips out. Kael’s attention snaps back toward me immediately at the sound and something in his expression eases. Theron notices that too. I can tell by the way something thoughtful crosses his face before he finally steps back toward the courtyard entrance.
“I’ll leave the two of you alone.” Kael nods once respectfully. Theron pauses briefly beside me before speaking one final time. “You do not owe me forgiveness, Elowyn.” His gaze meets mine fully. “But I am glad you survived long enough for this kingdom to know you anyway.” Then he leaves and silence settles softly across the courtyard afterward. Kael moves beside me a moment later.
“You okay?”
I stare out across the damaged stone for several seconds before answering honestly.
“I don’t know yet," I admit quietly. His hand brushes lightly against mine and I lean into him. “I’m starting to think everybody expects me to become something impossible.” His thumb brushes slowly across my knuckles.
“Good," he says and I glance toward him, watching as a ffaint smile touches his mouth. “The kingdom already had enough rulers pretending to be gods.” Kael stays beside me quietly after that. No questions. No pressure. Just steady warmth against my side while wind moves through the broken courtyard around us. For a while neither of us speaks. Below the palace walls, reconstruction crews continue moving through the lower grounds while distant voices drift upward through the afternoon air. Somewhere farther west, wolves are training again. I can hear claws striking stone even from here. Life continuing. It still feels strange. “I know that look." I glance toward him.
“What look?”
“The one where you disappear into your own head for twenty minutes and start trying to carry something alone.” Unfortunately, he says it with enough confidence that I immediately know he’s telling the truth and I lean my head against his shoulder slowly.
“I don’t know what people want from me anymore.”
Kael’s expression softens slightly.
“Elowyn.”
“No, seriously.” I gesture vaguely toward the palace around us. “Every time I walk into a room now people either stare at me like I’m going to save them or destroy them.”
“Most of them are still trying to process what happened.”
“I know.”
“But that doesn’t make it less exhausting.”
I look toward him quietly. Sometimes I think Kael understands me in ways that still surprise me. Not because he guesses, but because he pays attention.
“I don’t feel like whatever they think the Scarlet Luna is supposed to be,” I admit softly and a faint smile touches his mouth.
“Elowyn, you brought an entire pack home from a sealed realm while half the kingdom watched the sky tear open above the courtyard.” He gestures lightly around us. “People are going to react.”
“I hate being looked at like a symbol.”
“I know.”
The frustration slips out before I can stop it.
“I’m still just me.”
Kael’s gaze settles fully onto mine then.
“That’s exactly why people do and will trust you," he says and a sob catches unexpectedly in my throat because that’s the part I still don’t understand. I survived. I fought. I did what needed to be done, but somewhere between opening the realm and surviving the battle, people started turning me into something larger than myself and I still don’t know what to do with that.
Kael watches me quietly for another moment before stepping closer. “You know what I saw in the courtyard that night?”
“What?”
“I saw a terrified woman refusing to let people die.” The honesty in his voice hits harder than any grand speech could have. No prophecy. No legend. No Scarlet Luna. Just me. “You looked exhausted. You looked scared. You looked like holding the realm open was tearing you apart.” His eyes stay locked on mine. “And you still did it anyway.” Something painful and warm twists through my chest all at once. Kael reaches up slowly before brushing his fingers lightly along my jaw. “That’s why they believe in you.”
My eyes close briefly as I fight back the tears building in my eyes. I'm just overwhelmed by all of it. The kingdom. Moonstone. The future. The expectations pressing closer every day.
“I don’t want to become another ruler everybody fears,” I whisper quietly and Kael’s expression changes instantly.
“You won’t.”
“You can’t promise that.”
“Yes, I can," he says and the certainty in his voice pulls my eyes back toward him immediately. Kael’s hand remains warm against my face. “You won't let it happen and neither will I." I try to look away, but Kael forces me to meet his eyes. "Elowyn, fear made this kingdom destroy good people long before you were born.” His thumb brushes lightly against my cheek. “You are the first powerful person in years who actually understands what fear costs.” Silence settles between us afterward. Heavy in a different way now. The wind shifts through the courtyard again while sunlight spills across broken stone around us. In the distance, I can hear workers rebuilding sections of the outer walls. Repairing damage. Trying anyway. Kael suddenly studies me more carefully. “You keep disappearing into your own head. Would you stop that?”
Despite myself, another laugh slips free. Kael’s entire expression softens at the sound and the realization hits me all over again. He really thought he lost me. He watched me collapse after sealing the realm and genuinely believed that might be the last moment he ever saw me alive. The weight of that settles painfully in my chest. My hand slides slowly against his wrist before I can stop myself.
“I’m sorry,” I murmur quietly and Kael immediately sighs.
“Elowyn.”
“No, not for surviving.” I shake my head slightly. “For scaring you.”
His expression shifts instantly. Softer now. More vulnerable. For a second he looks like he’s deciding whether to answer honestly.
“I’ve never felt fear like that before.” The words leave quietly enough that I almost miss them. My chest tightens painfully. Kael looks out across the courtyard instead of at me now. “When the realm started destabilizing near the end…” His jaw tightens slightly. “I could feel how much power you were holding.” His voice lowers. “And then you closed it and just…” Collapsed. Neither of us says the word because we don’t need to. “I thought if I moved fast enough maybe I could still fix it somehow.” A humorless breath leaves him quietly. “Which is irrational considering I’m not actually capable of reversing death.”
Emotion swells so sharply in my throat it almost hurts. I step closer without thinking. Kael immediately wraps both arms around me instinctively like his body already knows exactly where I belong before his mind catches up. Warmth spreads through me slowly as I press my forehead lightly against his chest. For a while neither of us speaks again. We just stand there holding each other in the middle of a broken courtyard while the kingdom rebuilds itself around us.
“I’m here,” I whisper eventually and Kael’s arms tighten slightly.
“I know.”
But the way he says it makes it obvious part of him is still convincing himself. My hands slide slowly up his chest before I lean back enough to look at him properly again. The exhaustion beneath his eyes still hasn’t faded completely. Neither has the tension in his muscles.
“You should rest too,” I murmur softly.
“I’ll rest when you do.”
“That sounds unhealthy.”
“It probably is.”
A smile pulls briefly at my mouth before fading again as my gaze drifts across the damaged courtyard around us.
“This place feels different now.”
Kael follows my line of sight.
“Yeah.”
“Everything does.”
The answer leaves quietly because it’s true. Nothing feels the same after the realm opened. Not the palace. Not the kingdom. Not me. Kael studies me carefully.
“You’re still you.”
I glance back toward him.
“How do you know?” I ask and a faint smile touches his mouth.
“Because you’re standing in the middle of your own legendary battlefield worried about making people uncomfortable when they bow at you.”
A horrified laugh escapes me instantly.
“Oh my God.”
“There she is again.”
“You’re impossible.”
“And yet you continue loving me despite that tragic flaw.”
I roll my eyes softly before leaning into him again anyway. Kael immediately kisses the top of my head. The simple affection nearly undoes me more than anything dramatic could have. Because after everything… after the realm… after the war… after eighteen years of grief that never belonged to me but somehow shaped my entire life anyway… This is what I want. Not power. Not titles. Not prophecy. Just this. Home. Family. Him. And for the first time since the battle ended, I allow myself to believe maybe we actually survived long enough to have it.