Chapter 10

Chantria

I slowly opened my eyes. When my eyes adjusted, I looked around. Everything's white and quiet. All I could hear was the loud beeping of an engine.

How many times have I seen this scenario in a movie? How many times have I told myself that this scenario is getting boring because it just keeps repeating itself? I can not remember. And here I am, like a star in a movie. A movie that I pray is just a big dream.

I looked at who was in the bed next to me. There I saw that Chanel was still unconscious. It's just the two of us in a room. I tried to look on the other side of my bed, just in case Carleigh was there.

My tears flowed quickly. I don't want to assume, but my tears won't stop from falling. I struggled to get up from lying down and removed the things that were attached to me. I immediately covered the wound from the IV before trying to stand up.

I looked at Chanel's condition before I walked towards the door. But before I could even get close to it, it opened by itself. The eyes of the nurse who came in widened and immediately took me by the arm to bring me back to the bed.

"You shouldn't be standing up yet, Ma'am. Your arm is bleeding. Why did you remove it?”

I stopped him from pulling me back. "Where's my dad? I need to talk to him. Where's Carleigh?”

"I'll call your daddy and tell him to wake up. But first you need to go back and you need rest."

I didn't scream anymore because I felt the weakness of my body again. I watched him reattach the IV to my arm before leaving to maybe call dad or the doctor.

Waiting there was painful. Even if I want to go out, my body doesn't want to. I feel like when I stand up again, I'll just give it up. I watched Chanel while I waited. I was afraid that if I took my eyes off of him, he too would suddenly disappear.

I'm so confused and scared right now. Everything that happened came back to me and it replayed like a broken record. We called him. He smiled while running towards me. We were about to leave. We were about to be safe. But then someone shot her.

I stopped myself from crying so hard. Until I hear that Carleigh is fine I don't want to think anything. I just need to see her. Maybe she's just on the other room, resting. Maybe he just didn't want to be bothered by Chanel so he begged to separate the room.

My eyes immediately flew to the door when dad entered. He ran to my side before hugging me tightly. I just cried when I felt his hard chest. Her arms wrapped around me felt safe and secure.

"Are you okay? Does it hurt somewhere? Do you want me to call the doctor?” he asked one after the other.

I immediately shook my head before wiping the tears from my cheeks. "No. I'm okay, dad. It doesn't hurt anymore.”

“Good. That's good.” He hugged me tightly again while stroking my hair.

"Dad," I called him before letting go of his embrace. “Where's Leigh? Where is she? He was left there.” I cried. "Dad, she was shot. Someone shot her! I need to know if she's okay." I could barely speak because of my constant crying. I'm also short of breath and my vision is blurry because of tears.

“Shh… don't cry, Chantria. Don't cry.”

“Dad, where's Carleigh? I need to see her and know that she's okay. I'm okay now. I'm not hurt.”

When dad didn't answer, my eyes searched for his. He tried to avoid my eyes so I became more naughty.

"Dad, where is she? Why is she not here? Does she not want me and Chanel to be with us because we might make noise when we wake up? Tell me.”

He bit his bottom lip before slowly closing his eyes. The corner of his lips also trembled as if he was restraining himself. But because I was so stubborn, he didn't do anything either.

"I'm so sorry, Chantria. I am so sorry.” There were tears in his eyes, he still couldn't look at me.

"What is it, Dad? Why are you apologizing? It's not your fault. I was those guys' fault. I just want to see Carleigh.”

When he started crying, I was stunned. He slowly slid down the floor until he was kneeling in front of me. It was like he was pleading for something. I've never heard or seen him cry like this. He didn't cry this hard when mom died. He was a strong man. He doesn't cry.

"I failed to protect her. I failed to protect you three and I am so sorry.”

My knees are weak. If I had just stood up, I might have been lying on the floor like dad. I was just stunned as tears continued to fall from my eyes. I no longer know what is happening around me.

It can't be.

That's impossible.

"We rushed to the scene as fast as we can," he continued. "But I was too late. The enemy has already–“ He turned around. “–they already burned Joaquin and Carleigh alive. We couldn't protect them. I couldn't protect them. I am a failure of a husband. I am a failure of a father.”

I didn't speak. I don't know what to say. I want to blame him. I want to blame anyone for what happened. But I know who I need to blame for all this.

Me.

I was not strong enough to protect anyone. I was the one at the scene. I couldn't save Carleigh because I was weak. All I did was cower in fear. And I can't protect anyone in this state. I am the one to blame.

I couldn't eat for the next few days no matter how hard dad tried. How can I eat after what happened? After what I've done? Even if I could, I won't let myself eat. I need to punish myself. I deserve this.

Chanel was also unconscious for a few days and I was just watching over her. I didn't want to sleep and just watch over her. That way I'll know he's fine and no one else can hurt him.

As days go by, I'm thinking about what to say to Chanel. Just imagining her reaction to what happened to Carleigh makes me want to cry again. I'm sure he won't be able to. Chanel adores and respects Leigh so much. She can't possibly get over this as quickly as she did with mom. She spent a lot of time with her.

But I don't want to worry about that now. I just need to see her wake up. I need to see her alive and smiling again.