Chapter 36

She turned her head slightly on the pillow, so he could hear her. “Mostly in the lower part, but it’s sore everywhere.”

Oh, his mind could conjure so many images to fit “everywhere.” He stifled a groan as he fantasized about spreading the oil over her back, down her legs, and back up to the apex of her thighs. “Okay.” His voice sounded scratchy.

Still trying to be as aloof as possible, Tiernan sat on the bed beside her, straining awkwardly to reach her back. The first feel of her skin was heaven, and warmth suffused him. Not just the heat of arousal, but genuine tenderness at the close physical contact that she wasn’t immediately jumping away from upon realizing he was touching her. He’d gotten so desperate that he’d started waking up at least an hour earlier than her just so he could hold her against his body, in his arms, as she slept. That was the only time she wasn’t rejecting him.

Besides now. Trampling his rampant hope with the reminder that a massage didn’t mean anything, especially for a pregnant woman in pain, did nothing to dampen his desire. God, he wanted her. It had been so long. Never in his adult life had he gone so long without sex, but that wasn’t the desperation driving him. It was as basic as needing the closeness with her, of having missed having a connection that went beyond physical.

He watched his hands move over her back, applying what he hoped was the right amount of pressure, and carefully monitored them to ensure they didn’t veer off course, to dip under the sheet to seek out her buttocks, or down her sides to cup her breasts. It was the hardest thing he could recall doing in recent times.

Suddenly, she yelped, and he froze. “Did I hurt you?”

Madison shook her head, turning over in her excitement. “I felt the baby move.” She seemed unaware that the sheet had puddled around her lap, leaving her breasts exposed, but he was very aware.

Until she took his hand to press low on her belly. “There.” With excitement shining in her eyes, she asked, “Do you feel that?”

He started to say no, his mind still on taboo thoughts and the pleasure/pain of seeing her naked body without the privilege of touching. Before he could speak, a tiny little tap against his hand had him pressing a little harder and repositioning his palm more over the center of the movement. Meeting her gaze, he gave her a huge grin. “I can feel it.”

They sat there for a couple of minutes as he waited for the baby to move once more. Eventually, he had to accept he probably wouldn’t feel him or her again tonight. Praying that she would allow him to feel her stomach again, he reluctantly moved his hand. “I think she’s gone back to sleep.”

“Or he.” She smiled. “I’m sure we’ll find this commonplace soon enough.”

Tiernan shook his head. “I can’t imagine ever finding this miracle ordinary.”

Madison nodded, shifting a bit. Suddenly her cheeks took on a rosy hint of color as she looked down. Her hand trembled as she reached for the sheet. As she started to draw it over her skin, he acted on instinct, reaching out to put his hand on hers. “Don’t. Please.”

She regarded him with curiosity and perhaps a touch of desire. “Why?”

“I want to touch you so much, Madison.” His hand on hers trembled a bit, and he had to ball his other one into a fist on his leg to keep from reaching out to caress one of her firm pink nipples. Pregnancy had darkened her areolas and nipples, and they reminded him of plump raspberries. His mouth watered with longing. “I’ve missed you.”

“Yes.”

It was slightly ambiguous. Her assent could have referred to her agreement that she had missed him too, but he hoped it was also permission to touch her. She didn’t move as he shifted slightly, leaning forward to brush his lips against her neck. With a soft sigh, she dropped her head back, allowing him more room to nuzzle her.

She was honeyed sweetness on his tongue when he licked her skin lightly, moving up the column of her throat and over her chin to her mouth. Madison parted her lips against his, allowing his tongue to dip inside without protest. He groaned and moved closer to her when she sucked lightly on the appendage. One of her hands clutched his shoulder, and the other rested on his thigh.

As he deepened the kiss, feeling like an addict too long denied a hit, Tiernan put one hand on her back and brought the other one up her body. He cradled her breast in his oiled hand. She made a sound that was somewhere between a cry and a moan as he carefully massaged the swollen globe, taking his time to trace around the hardened nipple as she writhed against him.

When he could bear to tear his mouth from hers, to lose the taste of her, he scooted back and down a bit as she thrust her chest forward. Her other nipple tempted him, and he swirled his tongue around the plump bud, grinning against her breast when she arched her back and buried a hand in his hair to drag him closer. Though he wanted to devour and ravish her breasts, to make up for weeks of deprivation, he forced himself to go slowly, with gentle kisses, tiny licks, and the softest suction he could manage. Pregnant women had more sensitive breasts, right? He couldn’t remember for certain, but refused to do anything to risk hurting her. There had been too much pain between them already.

With a long sigh, she held on to him as she lay back. Tiernan moved with her, straddling her thighs as he leaned forward to kiss her other breast with the same gentle attention he’d paid the first. She wrapped a leg around his buttocks, bringing his lower body into closer contact with her own. As he gripped her hips, he discovered she wore no underwear. A glimmer of understanding came to him, and he began to speculate that she had planned to seduce him tonight.

It was working, and he would happily surrender. Tiernan moved his mouth down her body, pausing at the gentle swelling of her belly. He laid his cheek against it, bringing his hands up on either side of his face, gently kneading the surprisingly firm flesh. “Do you know how happy I am about this baby?” he asked, looking up her body to see her head propped on a pillow, watching him.

A hesitant smile flickered across her face. “Are you sure? I know you weren’t ready, and I’m not the companion you would have chosen for the mother.”

“I’m positive.” He kissed her tummy softly before rubbing his chin against her. “You’re the only woman who could possibly be the mother of my child. I love you, Madison.”

Her smile widened. “I’m beginning to believe that’s true.”

Sadness slashed through him that she still didn’t accept his words as truth. “I don’t know how to convince you.”

“Just keep doing what you’re doing.”

“Oh.” He moved his head lower, licking her stomach before pausing to breathe against her mound. “You mean this?”

“Ah…I meant how you’ve been acting, but that’s good too…” She trailed off into a moan as he parted her folds like a delicate flower, holding her open as he drew back to look at the glistening dew of arousal on her clit. His mouth watered to taste her, and he dipped his head to immerse his tongue inside her. Her body jolted at the contact, and he wondered if she was more sensitive there too. In case she was, he proceeded carefully, teasing her with the tip and then the broad part of his tongue as she cried out his name, arching her hips.

“Please, Tiernan,” she begged. “More.”

He abandoned subtle technique and pressed harder against her clit, sucking on her as she writhed and twisted. His cock was hard and aching to be inside her, but he held back, needing her release to complete his own. Plunging his tongue into her opening, he lapped her slippery musk as she came, a half-scream issuing from her while her legs clamped around his head, imprisoning him against her in the most pleasurable place imaginable.

It was only when he felt the shudders slowing and her legs relaxed that he pulled away, sitting up before moving to stand. He kept his gaze on her, almost afraid she would be like the fantasies he’d had the past few weeks and suddenly disappear. In a rush, he shed his clothes to return to her. Unlike those imaginary encounters, this time she was real and solid, curving into his arms.

With exaggerated care, he rolled onto his back and lifted her above him. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“That won’t be a problem.” Proof of her recent exertions had stained her cheeks red with flowing blood, and it made her lips almost crimson in the light from the chandelier. He wanted to taste her again, but being inside her was even more urgent.

Madison took his erection in hand, guiding him inside her. As she took all of him, he let out a soft exhalation. Words abandoned him, and he managed a garbled groan as he savored her silken walls clamped around him. She was wetter than he could ever recall, and moving inside her was easier than thinking. It became akin to an autonomic function as he thrust upward while she ground her pelvis down against him. Her breathless moans fed his own cries of pleasure.

Grasping her hands in his, he supported her so she could ride him without pressing on her tummy. The sight of her above him drove him wild. He stretched his neck to take one beaded nipple into his mouth, sucking as forcefully as he dared. In response, she thrashed, tossing her head backward so her hair cascaded down to her hips. Tiernan wanted to stay inside her all night, to share the connection that had been missing for weeks, but physiology won out. As she dug her nails into the back of his hands and convulsed around his cock, he lost his last threads of control and spilled his seed inside her in wave after wave that seemed like it would never end.

When she no longer milked him with her climaxing sheath, he carefully lowered her to the bed, turning her onto her side and laying behind her, wrapped around her. It was so good just to hold her. He kissed her shoulder. “I love you,” he whispered. As she hesitated to reciprocate, he held his breath, certain he could soon hear the cracking sound of his heart breaking.

“I love you too, Tiernan,” she said in a low voice. “Don’t hurt me again.”

“I can’t promise that, but I promise to try.” He put his hand over her stomach, wishing for the baby to kick again. “I will never knowingly hurt you, but I sometimes overreact.”

She giggled. “You? Never.”

“I never want to go through anything like the last nine weeks again.”

Madison shook her head, brushing hair against his chin. “Me neither.”

They lay in silence for so long that he thought she might have fallen asleep by the time he gathered the courage to ask, “Will you tell me what happened when the rebels took you?”

Madison stiffened in his arms for a long moment before exhaling. In increments, she relaxed into his arms again and began speaking. “Cam came up to me, but he wasn’t himself. I was cautious, for good reason, it turns out. He choked me when I wouldn’t go with them voluntarily.”

He rubbed her hip when she shuddered, offering unspoken support to continue, but not pressing her to do so.

“When I woke up in that cabin, I knew I was in danger, even though Cam didn’t seem to realize it.” Abruptly, she rolled over, pressing her chest against his, her face turned toward his shoulder, mouth close to his ear. “He wanted me to assassinate you based on the flimsy evidence of showing me your troops pilfering part of the rations.”

Tiernan’s muscles went taut. “What?”

“My brother and Briggs took me out on horseback and had me watch a rendezvous between the troops entrusted with the rations and another group of your soldiers. They unloaded about half the crates, all with the assistance of the first group, before splitting up.”

He frowned, his mind whirring furiously for an explanation. “I don’t understand. That makes no sense.”

He could hear the frown in her voice. “It didn’t to me either, love. I told them there was no way I’d kill you, so they took me back. Briggs sent Cam to intercept the stolen rations, and Briggs told me he was going to kill me.” Her voice grew thin. “First, he’d planned to rape me, and he was sorry he had to settle for me. He’d have preferred to kill your wife and kids to send a stronger message than just eliminating a companion.”

Tiernan’s hands balled into fists, and if Briggs had been in front of him, he might have continued where he’d left off separating the piece of trash from his other eight fingers, despite his distaste for the task. No, he’d skip the fingers and go straight for his testicles and penis. Or maybe his jugular. Thankfully, justice had prevailed, and he didn’t have the option of taking revenge so viscerally, or deciding if he could. “I’m sorry, Madison.”

She nodded against his shoulder. “I know. That wasn’t the worst thing I endured that day.”

He winced. “I know.” Tiernan relaxed his clenched fists and started stroking her hair. “I don’t deserve your forgiveness.”

“I don’t know. You hurt me, but I’ve hurt you the past few weeks too.” She kissed his chest. “Since you were too modest to mention your favors, I never thanked you properly.”

He frowned. “For what?”

“Susan’s clinic.” She kissed lower. “My parents’ winery extension.” Her mouth stopped at his nipple, and she flicked her tongue across it like a cat with cream. “Pardoning my idiot brother.”

He groaned as she sucked on the hard nub. “I did those things because you make me want to be a better person, not because I was trying to force you to forgive me.”

She chuckled before moving her mouth to his other pec, torturing his nipple with rough licks and delicate nibbles. “Whatever your motivation, I should still thank you.”

With a moan, he buried his hand in her hair. “Perhaps you should.” Guiding her head lower, his stomach clenched when she kissed her way down the dusting of hair directing her lower. Tiernan bit his tongue when the wet heat of her mouth cradled the head of his cock before slipping down over the length. She sucked and bobbed, her busy little tongue drawing erotic designs on the underside of his erection. He thrust against her, hazily thinking he should slow down and pull back, so he didn’t choke her.

Madison chased the thought right from his mind when she bit him gently around the base before scraping her teeth up the sides of his cock. The little bit of pain heightened his pleasure, and he knew he was going to come. With shaking hands, he tried to pull her head back. “Watch out.”

She resisted his efforts and sucked harder. Surrendering, he let go with another release, ecstasy spiraling through him and pulling him into a vortex of sensation. His only anchor was Madison, and he held on to her tightly, calling her name almost in desperation. He couldn’t lose her again. There was no way he would ever survive being without her. Head over heels in love with her, he’d fallen so hard he would never find his way back to the man he’d been before. As awareness returned, and she cuddled against him, he found he was just fine with that. Nothing in the world mattered more than Madison and their baby. The idea of ever again being the aloof, self-involved man whose sole focus was the Federation left him cold. Fortunately, his generous lover had all sorts of ways to warm him up, and they spent the rest of the night exploring them.