Chapter 334: I Can't Be Mated to Him

Maddie

I’m jolted awake, still curled into the seat of the carriage. I’m not sure how I even managed to fall asleep with all the bumps and swerves, but I must have slept for a while because the starry night has been replaced by a view of gnarly branches above me.

But I’m not awake because we hit a rut. We’ve stopped.

Am I home?

The carriage door opens wide, and the full light of the morning sun comes flooding in, nearly blinding me. Instinctively, I cover my chest with my arms, but of course, I’m still fully dressed and have revealed nothing to the gruff, rugged driver who is peering inside.

“Time to get out,” he says curtly.

I nod, not really having a choice in the matter, grab my bag, and climb out of the carriage.

But... though everything looks familiar, we’d stopped miles down the road that leads to my farm.

“We’re not there yet,” I tell him. “It’s at least five miles down that way to my family’s farm.”

He sighs, heavily, and whirls around to spit across the road before turning back to me. “Look, lady. I’m fucking tired. I’m hungry. There’s a bed and a meal waiting for me but it’s halfway back to the damn castle. I have too far to go before I can rest. I’m not taking you any further.”

I turn to look down the road, covered in dry trees that have suffered from the drought. Their leaves are already shedding, and it’s nowhere near autumn. Though the morning air is still slightly cool, I know the sun will beat down within the hour, right when I reach the bend that leads to the open fields.

“Can I at least take the water canteen?” I ask. “And a couple of sticks of jerky?”

He sighs again, but at least he doesn’t spit this time. “Whatever. Take it all. I have my own supplies.”

Before he can change his mind, I turn and hoist myself back up into the carriage and hurry over to the bench seat, where I grab the supplies. “Thank you,” I tell him when I jump out, but he’s already back on the driver’s bench and reaching for the reins to turn the horses around.

Letting out my own sigh, I start down the dirt road toward home.

At least I’m free. There is no castle etiquette keeping me cooped up inside my room, no cruel woman spouting off obscenities about me right to my face. There are no barely muted whispers, bitter stares from the courtiers that make me feel like a lesser person.

I know what I am—a simple farmer woman—and I’m proud of it.

The tree-lined road seems to go on for miles, and I’m tired since I didn’t sleep well in the bumpy carriage. So, I decide to shift to speed this along.

This road is hardly ever traveled, but it would be just my luck to be naked right as a farmer drives by with his crops. To avoid that embarrassment, no matter how small the likelihood, I slip into the forest, careful not to catch my dress on the prickly branches. I decided miles ago that I’d give this dress to my mother. She hasn’t had anything that’s not covered in mending patches in years, and I think it will fit her well enough.

So, I carefully remove it, fold it up, and put it into the bag she made me, along with my underclothes, the jerky bag, and, after a few sips, the canteen. Closing my eyes, I let the shift envelop me, feeling my bones reposition and fur and fangs take the place of my human features.

When I open my eyes, the world becomes instantly crisp and clear, the colors vibrant, a million scents drifting into my consciousness. A small lizard scurries away beneath me, no doubt terrified that a predatory beast suddenly appeared in his path. I have no will to harm him, instead scooping my snout under my bag handle and repositioning it as best I can for the run home.

And then, I’m truly free, my paws barely hitting the earth as I sprint through the forest, into the fields, and toward home. It seems like years have passed since I ran in my wolf form... since the night my father told me I had to go to the castle to be the breeder for the prince.

Zachariah....

Goddess, why did you do this to me? How could you mate me with the prince of the kingdom knowing he’d have to reject me?

Has he? I don’t think so, not yet. I don’t feel like he’s rejected me, anyway. Maybe he has to be right in front of me in person to do the formal rejection. I purposely avoided learning anything about rejection when my mother and my teachers taught us about the mate bond. I was sure it wasn’t something I’d ever need to know. The Moon Goddess would mate me with a kind neighbor man, a farmer, like me, and we’d build up our own homestead and make a life together.

But there’s no life for me in a castle.

My wolf keeps running toward home, but she sends me an ache of loss that has my nerves trembling.

There’s nothing I can do about it. April was right. He can’t be mated to me.

Finally, the familiar driveway comes into view. A surge of relief runs through me, even as the pain still radiates. I guess it’ll be a long time before I get over being mated to a prince.

I want to rush toward the house to see my parents, to take Katy in my arms, to see how well Cindy is recovering from her illness now that the healer has cared for her.

But I remember that Father would have hired a farmhand by now, and I can’t shift in front of him. So, I hide in the brush, shifting back to my human form and dressing quickly in my underclothes and one of my own dresses, pushing aside the one I will give to Mother once I wash it.

I take a few sips from the canteen before I step out of the bushes. I’ll leave the jerky for everyone else. Food can wait. What can’t wait is seeing my family again.

My father’s form is the first one to come into view as I walk down the driveway. He’s chopping wood, as usual, for Mother’s cooking fire. I know she’s inside chopping meat and vegetables for the noontime stew. Though, perhaps she’s trying new dishes now that they have money from the Crown.

I catch sight of Josh stacking the wood on the wagon for my father. There’s no sign of the farmhand. Perhaps he’s tending to the chickens, taking over some of the work I used to do.

“Maddie?” Josh’s voice is the first to greet me, and I break into a run.

The sudden announcement has my father turning around, and even from this distance, I see the smile growing on his lips.

I know Josh has been trying to act like a man lately, cool and confident, but he runs up and throws his arms around me in a warm and welcoming hug anyway. I pat his back joyfully.

I hadn’t realized just how much it hurt to be apart from my family.

Tears are in my eyes by the time he pulls back and asks, “What happened? Are you visiting?”

I bite my lip, not sure how to answer. “I’ll... I’ll explain later.” Gratefully, my father steps toward me with a one-armed fatherly embrace.

When he pulls back, I wipe my eyes and look around. “Where’s the farmhand?” I ask.

Something swirls in my father’s eyes—sadness maybe, or regret. “We’ll talk about that later, pumpkin,” he says. “What was the castle like?”

It’s my turn to avoid the subject. I can’t stand here and tell my father and brother that the prince found out I was his mate, that I’d actually kissed the man, then I’d realized that could never be, and that the Alpha King’s men had dragged me out of the castle and sent me away.

“It was nice,” I say instead. “The city is vibrant, so full of activity. The castle towers over all of it, with beautiful spires touching the sky.” I turn to my father. “I need to see Mother. And Katy, and Cindy... how is she doing with her recovery?”

That same uncertain, regretful emotions greet me when I meet his eyes again. Instead of answering my question, he says, “Let’s get you inside. Your mother misses you terribly.”

I nod, happy to get to see her and my little sisters again. At least I’ll never have to leave. Whatever happened between me and the prince, it’s over now. My life is here.

My father steps through the heavy wooden door of our farmhouse first. “Elizabeth,” he says to my mother. “We have a surprise for you.”

“What is it, Samuel?” she asks. But then she turns around, wiping her hands on the same ratty towel she was using the day I left, and her eyes go wide the moment she sees me. “My baby girl...”

She drops the towel and closes the short distance between us to meet me in an embrace, trembling as she tries to hold back the sobs.

“I’m home, Mother,” I whisper into her ear. “I’ll explain later.”

She nods as she pulls back from the hug. It’s now that I notice that she is, in fact, chopping food for the stew, but there are few vegetables and even less meat on the cutting board.

“Where’s Cindy?” I ask. “Is she feeling better now?”

But my question is answered almost as soon as it comes out of my mouth. The familiar sound of Cindy’s coughs come from the bedroom, dry and rattling. My mother’s eyes go dark, and I already know the answer before I ask, “Didn’t the healer come for her?”

“No, dear,” Mother says, then she lets the tears fall, turning away quickly toward the kitchen counter and grabbing the rag again, this time for her eyes.

My father speaks for her. “There was no healer, pumpkin, and they never sent a farmhand or any of the money they’d promised.”

The Crown lied. Alpha King Tobias lied. Prince Zachariah.... Did he lie to me too? My mind races to remember whether he’d told me that my family had received help. No, I don’t think he did. But he did discuss the river. Was that a lie?

“No!” I holler, shaking my head. “They were supposed to take care of you... in exchange for me. They were supposed to heal Cindy and help Katy and make it so that Josh doesn’t have to work his fingers to the bone! So that you both don’t have to work so hard! They were supposed to send help. You were supposed to have food on the table!”

“I’m sorry, pumpkin,” my father says. “I’m afraid we haven’t heard from The Crown since the day they took you away.”

My heart thunders against my ribcage. How can this be?

I knew the moment I left the castle that I’d never be the same. I lost my heart to Zachariah when he kissed me in the garden. Mate or not, I will never give my heart to another man again. I’ll die an old maid, still trying to eek out a living on this farm.

All I went through was for nothing.