Chapter 108: Suffered Without Him

“Can I come by your place tonight?” He was hopeful again.

“What time do you get off?”

“Soon. I hope.” He checked his watch. “I should be off before you.”

“I can’t just go to your place when I get off,” she offered.

“Sure, it doesn’t matter.”

Her hands were still on his face. I can’t bring myself to pull it away, to lose this connection with him. It had only been a day, but it felt like their fight had lasted for a century.

She trailed her fingers across his cheek, down his neck. She grabbed the collar of his shirt and tugged slightly. He leaned forward from her pull, hesitating for just a moment before gently pressing his lips to hers. His movements were soft and timid, but as soon as she increased the pressure, he opened his mouth to hers and claimed her lips with a desperate longing.

She sighed against him and for the first time all day, it no longer hurt to breathe.

.

“Your drug test came back negative,” Haley informed her in her office.

“Yeah?” she kept her face passive. She had known the result but it was still a relief to hear.

“But I guess you knew that already.” Haley smiled sympathetically.

Irene nodded. “I did.”

“Things will straighten out soon enough, Irene. Someone stealing that many meds won’t be able to keep it a secret for long.”

“I guess.”

“They are changing the lockout time, too. It’ll only keep you logged in for a minute without activity now.”

“That’s good.” It was a few days too late.

Irene smiled to let the other know she appreciated everything and Haley promised to keep her updated if she heard any news. On her way out, Irene stopped to ask Andy and Talia if they needed anything, as they had both stayed late to catch up on charting.

They declined.

Irene’s stomach twisted from nerves as she made her way out of the hospital, and she thought over what she was going to say to Brenden.

She was not upset with Brenden. She wished he wouldn’t have gotten as drunk as he did, but in the grand scheme of things, he did invite her along. Dr. Swift’s presence was more than likely a coincidence. While Irene was grateful, she took care of Brenden without taking advantage of the situation. Irene was sure he didn’t ask for her help.

Besides, he wasn’t the only one in the wrong. Irene picked a fight while both of them were tired and he was hungover. She kicked him out. And while she was glad she had some space to think over things, she was ready to talk. She had several days to think and she was ready for things to fall back into place again.

She parked behind Brenden’s car in the driveway and slowly made her way up the porch. The front door swung open before she had the chance to knock. Brenden stood there in a t-shirt and flannel pants, his hair slightly damp from a shower. He bit his lips to hide a smile, then quickly moved aside and ushered her in from the cold.

He shut the door behind her. “It’s freezing out,” he commented. She could see goosebumps on his arms. She had an urge to reach out and smooth them away, but she refrained.

“Yeah,” I agreed, but I didn’t really feel like talking about the weather. She faced Brenden in his small foyer and for a moment, they held each other’s gaze. His eyes flickered to her lips, and then he looked away and ran a hand through his wet hair.

The moment was broken. Irene sighed and shrugged out of her jacket.

“Thank you for coming over,” he said awkwardly. It sounded formal and she hated it.

“I wanted to come over.” He took her jacket and she led them into the living room. He laid the coat across a chair.

“My drug test came back,” she told him.

“Oh. That’s good, right?”

“Yeah. It’s good.”

“No news?”

“None.”

They stood near the couch and faced each other. Irene felt awkward, unsure how to begin, and the silence was insufferable.

“I’m sorry,” he finally said.

She was relieved, even though he said as much earlier. “Me too.”

“I shouldn’t have gone out the other night. I never would have if I knew it was going to cause such a mess.”

“It’s okay,” she assured him. “It’s not a crime to go out.”

“I didn’t know Marg was going to be there,” he promised. “I didn’t plan on seeing her. And I definitely didn’t plan on her giving me a ride to your place…”

Every time she heard the girl’s nickname, she puckered her mouth a little. But she had asked Andy and apparently that was what everyone called her. It wouldn’t be so strange if she didn’t refer to her so formally in her own head.

“It bothered me a little,” she admitted. “But I’m still glad you came over.”

“I’m sorry, Irene. The last thing I wanted to do was make you uncomfortable… I really fucked up.”

He rubbed his eyes with is fingers wearily. She sat down on the couch, hugging herself with her hands. Brenden followed her lead and sat beside her. He was so close that their knees touched.

“I shouldn’t have gone off on you,” she said. “Or accused Dr. Swift… because you’re right, I don’t have proof. I was mad at everything. The first time I spoke to her, she implied that she still had feelings for you and it… I don’t know…. It made me uncomfortable sometimes.”

Brenden looked surprised. “Are you sure? She never said anything…”

“She thinks you are not interested. Of course, she is not going to say anything.”

“Even if she did, it doesn’t matter. I love you, Irene.” He put a hand on her cheek, gently turning her face so that she was looking right at him. “Please believe that. She could never compare to you, okay? No one could.”

She lowered her eyes and nodded. He was right. If he wanted to be with Dr. Swift, he could be with her. There was nothing stopping him. In fact, several things would have been in his favor. Maybe she was simply too insecure.

“I love you,” he said again softly.

Her eyes rose up to meet his. “I love you, too.”

His hand moved from her face to her arm, then he gently tugged on her sleeve, urging her towards him. “Come here.”

Irene scooted closer and his fingers slid into her hair, cupping the back of her head. His touches were soft and gentle and his kiss was tender, reminding her of every reason she fell in love with him. She slid her hands under his shirt, raking his warm skin with her nails, and he tilted his head and kissed her with more passion as her touches spurred him on.

She yanked at his shirt, tugging and pulling until he helped rip it from his body and then rid herself of her own before standing in front of him. He kissed the skin of her belly as he pushed her pants down her legs, and she steadied herself by grasping his shoulders while he helped her out of the rest of her clothing.

His lips pressed against hers forcefully as she straddled his lap. He lifted his hips so that she could pull his pants down, releasing his cock. It felt like she had suffered without him forever. As she sank down on top of him, it felt like the end of an era. Like everything was as it should be.

She could survive without Brenden. It would be hard, but she realized she would be able to do it. Only, the important thing was, she didn’t want to.