Chapter 55: DARK PAST.

I became stronger and made up my mind to take my revenge for my father someday and take off the disgrace the Alpha King has put on my family and take back the wolf stone after removing this curse mark on my neck and return to my clan.

I trained day and night with bruises all over my body with Carmine for us to become stronger.

The Alpha King brutally trained us to the extent that Carmine, who came along with me, fainted a couple of times due to the tough training and I joined him as well.

We did a plank workout. Frog jumped and ran a marathon.

"Our abs can burst out of our veins because of these workouts. How can we lose weight to be fit and still carry weight and work. Does that make sense to you?'

I laughed so hard my stomach hurts.

"Shut the fuck up and let's concentrate.'

We play pranks on each other and have fun all day long.

I miss my parents, my siblings and wish I could see them and see how much they've grown.

We burst our butt and worked five times as much.

The Alpha King hired someone to secretly train me on how to use the wolf stone since I couldn't control it myself.

Then, our Luna got Pregnant.

Eight months passed, Oceana was born, everything about my revenge disappeared.

It was like I got enchanted with this little child in my arms.

I realized she was my mate. I was so terrified I wished I was dead. Carmine quickly came by my side and consoled me.

I touched and saw visions about her future.

I got scared and used the wolf stone's powers to be sure and she was truly my mate.

She was going to die if she got together with me.

She was just a tiny innocent little baby who knew nothing about the harsh reality of life.

I then read about wolves like me, who control the wolf stone with their mates.

How did they end up with and what became the outcome of their lives.

I checked thousands of books and what I saw was death.

They all died before they got together with their mates and married them.

So if I should get married to Oceana after bonding with her, she will die a miserable death and she will only be saved if she gets together with her second mate.

Valarr.

So, she had a second mate apart from me.

Seems like her life was destined to live through love and happiness.

The more I got closer to claiming her, putting a ring on her finger, the signs of death would be around her.

The curse mark of a black star will appear on her neck, the signs will be there to manifest.

My curse will be her curse. My unfortunate situation will be hers. My pain will be her pain, if I bleed, she bleeds. The darkness hovering around me will haunt her. My dark flaws which were fated to kill me will kill her. Any attacks striked against me, she will be my shield and take the downfall.

Any bad omen coming my way, she will take pains.

She will suck in all my bad luck, choke up and die a miserable death.

What a terrible fate I have indeed.

Tears flowed down my cheeks, which means I can never have a mate.

The people I truly love will never be at my side.

The Alpha King was right. My life had a terrible fate and I can never keep anyone beside me.

I never told the Alpha King about his daughter being my mate.

But he began to get suspicious about my movement and closeness with Oceana.

I fell in love with this little Alpha girl as my mate.

I couldn't help it, my love for her. I knew I could never have her as my mate, my wife or anything but I wanted to be there for her in every step of the way.

I love her to death, I will do anything to make her mine but I don't want her to die for me.

I think about Oceana all the time. I don't know if I can make her happy but she is everything to me.

Her every gesture, smile and expression was radiant.

She was the only being beautiful enough to admire.

I took care of her as a princess and made sure no one would harm her.

But as soon as the Alpha King discovered I was getting close to his daughter he saw that as a threat to his family.

Though he tried to act cool about it, I wouldn't think he was getting scared of me harming his daughter.

Yet, deep down he was against me getting close to Oceana.

Because of that suspicious behavior, I also tried to get close to Alex too after he was born to avoid his eyes on me.

Everyone was happy and the house was as blissful as ever but no one knew the secret war between the Alpha King and I which he dealt with indirectly.

"Stay away from my daughter?' he once warned me on a cool evening.

Over the years I learned how to control my wolf form, the wolf stone but the curse mark on me was the problem and I was falling head over heels in love with Oceana every single day.

The more I tried to avoid her, the more the bond came pulling me to her.

The Alpha King as usual intentionally sent me to war to fight the rogues using the wolf stone secretly to kill them all.

Sometimes he will intentionally put me in the front roll of the wolves warriors so that I could get killed.

I knew all his ulterior motives and went through it all to solve his traps and survive.

Oceana kept me going, they were times I wanted to die.

Carmine and Oceana's smile keeps me alive.

Because of the bond between Oceana and I, I could sense when she was sad and happy, whenever she was in trouble, crying out for help, or injured.

I would be there at that instant in a flash.

When Carmine noticed how I always sense his sister's feelings, including where she was. He told me to learn to ignore it.

"You don't always have to respond to Oceana's feelings. If father finds out, it's going to be a problem and he will know Oceana is your mate. Try to keep it in, it's for the best.'

I nodded and took his advice.

I tried but there were times I couldn't help it.

To get over the pain, the cries concerning Oceana, I began sleeping with other women.

I slept with Betas, Omegas and Alphas. I deluded myself into a world of pleasure to stop fantasizing about my mate.

Because if my thoughts and body keeps this up, I was going to go insane for sure.

So, I pushed my emotions onto the women I fucked.

My rut comes and without Oceana by my side I suffer it the most and go through so much agony. Carmine will shift and hold me down from going wild during the full moon and the pain was unbearable.

I stopped whoring around immediately and controlled myself when I noticed Oceana was of age.

She was beginning to understand how the world was like.

The Alpha King had to send me away from the realms for eight years because he didn't want me connecting with his daughter.

I was a curse with a terrible fate.

I accepted it and obeyed his commands. But there were times I asked myself, what if I killed the Alpha King and Luna, what would Oceana think of me?

Will she loathe me for killing her parents?

I couldn't stop thinking about her all these years and poured my frustrations, lust and my dark desires on Emily.

When I first met Emily, she was such a sweet soul and lively, though I was rude and didn't want to date her, I finally accepted her eventually.

But I never knew all those words, I told her about what I loved in a woman skyrocketed.

She took it to heart and did surgeries on her body, she seemed a bit like Oceana but I wasn't happy.

She couldn't have done all that for me. This is her body, she shouldn't have turned it to someone else.

I was just randomly telling her what I love in a woman, not for her to put it on her body.

I like the way she previously was, not like Oceana.

I knew she went through so much trouble and so as not to feel bad about what she did, I accepted it and didn't say a word.

Next time I was going to be careful of what I say from my mouth since most ladies feel insecure all the time about their bodies.

I shouldn't have pushed Emily into that sort of decision.

Though I never loved her, I got married to her and made her my wife to push Oceana away from me.

I didn't plan to have any child with Emily because I didn't want to.

Oceana.

I didn't want to hurt her feelings anymore than I already did getting married to Emily. So I kept a lot of stuff casual and besides I was going to take my revenge someday. I wanted to hate Oceana so much by also getting married to Oceana.

The darkness I feel in my heart isn't going away.

I love and hate Oceana at the same time. Anytime I see her face, it reminds me that my people were destroyed. Living such a rosy life with no sort of pain attached to her, angers me.

My soul doesn't have a home. My heart has become a place with no warmth but nightmares. My fate is a curse with burning dawn devoid of love.

Seeing Oceana's smiles and her face shining in the sunlight breaks my heart.

Oceana, do you have any idea how I hate your family for stealing what belonged to me and killing my family. I love you so much but at the same time I hate you. You are my mate but I just can't stand it anymore. Whenever I see your face, I recall how I am caged in this palace with all eyes on me.

I am nothing but a puppet in the eyes of your father. Am I selfish to murder your loved ones? Why can't I rip off my heart from my nightmares and be happy? Your father killed my first love and hung her head in the eyes of the realms?

I love you but I want your parents to die. I just can't stand it.

I want to ruin everything around you to be satisfied.

My parents are living in the slums with bugs as their food and you want me to be happy. How can I ever love you when your father broke me apart? How can I ever look into your eyes and tell myself that I am worthy of your love?

How can I stand by and watch you and be happy?

Do you know that I hate children so much I want to rip them off because they remind me of my former self and my first love.