Chapter 15

I sat up and slid away, my heart pounding as if I’d seen a ghost.

“What the fuck…” Vi mumbled.

I grabbed the ring and confirmed my suspicion—it was Alex’s. The guy I had just murdered. And I’m having sex with my girlfriend like an hour later. What the fuck is wrong with me?

As pathetic as it sounds, I broke down again.

Vi rubbed my legs, but I couldn’t even think about her. How irresponsible was I, to even try to have sex again? I can’t afford to lose Vi.

“I can’t do this,” I said quietly.

She sighed. “What happened with that cop was an accident. You shouldn’t beat yourself up over it.”

“I can’t control it!” I screamed, though it wasn’t my intention. She was only trying to console me.

“You will, with time,” she said softly. “It took me a while too.”

I snickered. “And how many people did you kill before you figured out your power?”

She looked down.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought.” I took a deep breath and exhaled. “I’m sorry. I can’t do this with you. Not now.”

Vi let out a frustrated yell. “I’m trying, Kate, so hard, just to be with you. What do you want? What am I doing wrong?”

“It’s not you.” I instantly regretted my response when her expression changed to one of ambivalence.

“Yeah, I’ve heard that one before—it’s not you, it’s me.” She got up off the bed and stormed out of the room.

I sighed. It’s not that I didn’t enjoy her touch or her company. I just didn’t want to lose her. “Vi, you don’t understand…”

“What is it I don’t get?” she said, as she came back, dressing herself in a hurry. “I think you’re the one who doesn’t get me. I only want to be with you. No strings attached, nothing fucked up like with Steve.”

“I couldn’t live with myself if I—”

My cell rang, interrupting my thought. I wasn’t going to get it, but Vi grabbed it and threw it on the bed. “When you figure out what you want, you let me know.” Before I could respond, she poofed out.

I felt like an ass, a total douchebag for pushing her away, yet again. Being alone was not at all what I wanted, especially at that moment. And like a douchebag, I started crying again.

The phone eventually stopped ringing. But then a minute later, it started back up again. The caller ID read “Jay,” so I answered it.

“Kate! How are you doing?” he asked.

“I’m okay, I guess,” I said, my voice still a little shaky. “It’s been a rough day for me.”

“Sounds like it. You wanna talk about it?”

I sighed. “Not really. A lot of fucked-up shit, you know? Like a code migration from a dead language.”

He giggled his adorable geeky giggle. I couldn’t help but smile a little.

“Was it the interrogation?” he asked. “Did the cop give you a hard time?”

I cringed at his choice of words—a bad unintentional pun, and at the very thought of Alex. When I didn’t answer, he continued, “Let me come over. Have you eaten?”

Food was the last thing on my mind, but of course I hadn’t eaten dinner. “I’m not hungry, but thanks for the offer.”

“Well, I could keep you company, then,” he said. “You sound like you could use a friend.”

I guess my voice must’ve given me away. I couldn’t deny that, but at the same time I was afraid I would break down in front of him too, basket case that I was. It turns out accidentally killing your lover kinda fucks with your brain.

“No, it’s all right. I’m sure you’re busy with your family.”

“I’m coming over.”

I was surprised by his assertiveness, something I hadn’t noticed in him. Before I could object, he hung up the phone. I texted him: you really don’t need to come.

On my way was his reply.

Shitballs. I wiped my eyes and dressed in the most comfortable outfit I owned – an off-the-shoulder oversized shirt with my most comfy pair of jeans.

I splashed some water on my face in an attempt to return to normal. It didn’t work. My eyes were red and my skin splotchy from all my crying outbursts. I looked like a fucking wreck, which of course I was.

I heard footsteps in the living room, and half expected to see Vi. Maybe I was more hoping to see her, so I could apologize and try to explain. But in the back of my mind, I knew she hadn’t figured out landings yet. Which left only one other person…

“Are you okay?” Strands of Steve’s long blonde hair had escaped his ponytail, and it threw me to see him not looking perfect. His blue eyes took me in from head to toe, as if he were assessing for injuries.

I sighed, unsure of how to react to his presence. Having already broken down in front of him once today, I was determined not to do it again. “I’m fine.”

“After what you’ve been through, I highly doubt that,” he said, as he hugged me gently. “Can I get you anything? Some tea perhaps?”

I arched an eyebrow at him.

“Forgive me. Coffee?” He smiled sheepishly. “Everyone’s always drinking coffee in this country, right?”

“I don’t want anything,” I said slowly, in an effort to maintain an even, rational tone.

But by the panicked look on Steve’s face, it seemed to only make him think I was mad at him.

“Look, I’m sorry.” I don’t know why I said that, I guess to reassure him or something. I avoided eye contact and wrapped my arms around my waist, as if it would help me hold my shit together.

He positioned himself behind me and rested his cold arms atop mine, holding me. His clean scent filled my nose, and my eyes closed involuntarily. “Kate, I’m here for you. If you want to talk about it, I can help you.”

His very presence was intoxicating, but when he pushed back my hair and planted a soft kiss on my bare shoulder, I nearly lost it. His body next to mine fired up a desire I didn’t think I was capable of, only moments after… Alex. The image of his motionless body popped into my head and had the effect of a cold shower.

“Help me or deliver me?” I turned to face him, and without even consciously trying, probed his mind.

There was a single thought—a strong desire for me. His eyes switched from gazing into mine, to focusing on my lips. Then, he kissed me so passionately I nearly lost my footing. He caught me before I fell, scooping me up in his arms, and gently placing me down on the couch.

He continued kissing me, cradling my head in his cold hands. It was an odd feeling of heat and cold, but somehow it just made the whole experience more intense. I kissed him back with the same fervor, losing myself in the moment and his deliciously sexy thoughts about me.

But then his thoughts changed.

I shoved him off me. “Convince me to go? Go where?”

He half-smiled a charming, crooked smile. “I tried to control my thoughts. But my mind drifts sometimes, even when I’m… Well, you know…”

“Kissing? Fucking? What?” I stood and got some distance from him. “What the fuck is it we’re doing?”

“I don’t know, Kate. I am genuinely attracted to you. Surely you must sense that.”

I couldn’t deny it—his thoughts were sensual. He was into me. But then there was always something else with him, something he was holding back. I debated trying to probe his mind further to get at it, but I was understandably reluctant to press harder. I had already killed two people with my power.

“I’m sorry, Kate.”

Before I could ask him why, he teleported next to me and poofed me out of my apartment.