Chapter 23: You are not a monster, Topher.

Topher’s POV

The drive back to the pack house was a suffocating experience that felt less like a commute and more like a funeral procession for our collective egos. I sat in the backseat and stared at the back of Tyler’s head while he muttered curses under his breath as we had walked into that dinner party as kings and we had walked out as court jesters while Elsie sat on the throne we built for her.

The car screeched to a halt in front of the main entrance and I had my door open before the engine even cut out. I needed to get away from the suffocating scent of failure that clung to my brothers and I needed the sanctuary of my room where I could pretend that I wasn't the weak link in this chain of command.

"Where are you going?" Tyler snapped as he climbed out of the passenger seat and slammed his door hard enough to rattle the frame.

"To my room," I replied without breaking my stride toward the front steps because I was done listening to him.

"We are not done," Tyler argued as he jogged to catch up with me and grabbed my shoulder. "We need to talk about what just happened, she made fools of us and we need a new plan before the rumors start spreading that the Alpha triplets lost control of their own table."

"There is no plan," Tristan said as he joined us in the foyer with a look of exhaustion etched on his face. "She beat us and you need to accept it and go to sleep."

"I am going to bed," I whispered as I turned away from them before I said something I would regret.

I didn't wait for their response as I sprinted up the stairs and down the long corridor to my room. I slammed the door behind me and locked it with trembling fingers as I needed to calm down and remember who I was.

I walked to the loose floorboard under my bed where I kept my stash and pried the wood up with my fingernails. I reached into the dark hole expecting to feel the cold metal of the locket I had hidden there but my hand grasped nothing but dust.

I froze. I remembered that I had put it in my pocket few days back and hurried to find it. But it wasn't there.

"No," I gasped as I sat back on my heels and stared at the empty space.

I scrambled up and tore the sheets off my bed in a frenzy. I threw the pillows across the room and ripped the drawers out of my dresser because it had to be here. I never took it out and I kept it safe as it was the only thing that kept me grounded. It was the reminder of why I had to be cruel and why I had to be strong.

If Tyler found it he would mock me for keeping a note that called me weak and if Tristan found it he would look at me with that pitying gaze I hated.

I overturned my desk chair and kicked the trash can into the wall with a scream of frustration. My room was a disaster zone of clothes and broken furniture but I didn't care because I was hyperventilating. I couldn't breathe without that metal against my skin.

"Looking for something?"

I spun around so fast I almost lost my balance and saw Elsie standing in the doorway. She was still wearing that blue dress that made her look like a goddess of war and she leaned against the frame with a calm expression that contrasted sharply with my panic.

"Get out!" I screamed at her as I looked around for something to throw. "Get out of my room right now!"

"You look frantic Topher," she observed calmly as she walked into the room and kicked a pile of shirts aside. "Did you lose something important?"

"I said get out!" I roared as I advanced on her with my hands curled into fists. "You have no right to be in here!"

"I came to return something," she said softly as she stopped in the middle of the chaos.

She reached into the pocket of her dress and pulled out a gold chain that dangled from her fingers and caught the light of the lamp I had left on. My heart stopped because it was my locket.

I lunged for it but she pulled her hand back faster than I anticipated and I stumbled forward.

"Give it to me," I snarled as I tried to grab her wrist. "You stole it and you are nothing but a thief."

"I didn't steal it," she corrected me with a shake of her head. "You dropped it yesterday when you were rushing to follow Tyler like a good little puppy so I picked it up for safekeeping."

"Give it back," I demanded as I held my hand out with desperation clawing at my throat. "Now."

"I read the note," she said simply.

The air left my lungs and I felt like the floor had dropped out from under me. She knew. She knew that my father thought I was weak and she knew that my cruelty was just a mask I wore to survive. She held the ammunition to destroy me and she was going to use it.

"Go ahead," I whispered as the fight drained out of me and I lowered my hand. "Laugh at me and tell everyone that I am soft so we can get it over with."

I waited for the mockery and I waited for her to use it against me like I had used her poverty against her.

But she didn't laugh.

Elsie walked forward until she was standing inches away from me and reached out to place the locket in my open palm. Her fingers brushed against mine and the mate bond flared with a warmth that I didn't deserve.

"I am not going to tell anyone," she promised as she closed my fingers over the cold metal.

I looked down at the locket and then up at her face to see that her eyes were soft and filled with an understanding that terrified me more than her anger.

"Why?" I asked hoarsely because I didn't understand her game. "I have been nothing but a monster to you."

"Because you are not a monster Topher," she said as she took a step closer to me. "You are just a man who is terrified of disappointing a dead man and you try so hard to be like Tyler and Tristan but it doesn't fit you."

"I am not kind," I argued weakly but my voice cracked under the weight of her gaze. "I am an Alpha."

"You can be both," she whispered as she looked deep into my eyes. "You don't have to pretend to be hard to be strong because I actually like the real you better."

"Elsie," I breathed her name as my eyes dropped to her lips.

She looked up at me and for a second I thought she was going to let me kiss her. I wanted to kiss her and forget about the bet and the pack and my father as I wanted to drown in her acceptance.

But then she pulled her hand away and stepped back to leave me cold.

"Goodnight Topher," she said softly as she turned away. "Sleep well."