Chapter 54

Chapter 54

Aria's POV

A month passed. Then two.

The pack adjusted to the new normal. Me staying in Rosa's spare room. Drogo sleeping alone in our old quarters. Us working together for pack business but nothing more.

It shouldn't have worked but it did. Mostly because everyone pretended they didn't notice the massive hole where our marriage used to be.

The school kept growing. We had forty students now, including ten from a new allied pack to the south. Beth had taken over most of the administrative work, which freed me up to actually teach more.

I threw myself into it. Spent twelve hours a day at the school. Anything to avoid thinking about Drogo and the mess we'd become.

But avoiding only worked for so long.

Sera came to visit in late autumn. She wanted to check on her students and discuss expanding the partnership. We met in my office at the school.

"The students are thriving," I told her, showing her their progress reports. "Especially the older ones. They've really taken to the advanced classes."

"That's wonderful. I'm so glad we partnered with you." Sera paused. "Can I ask you something personal?"

"Depends what it is."

"What happened between you and Drogo? My students mentioned you don't live together anymore. And the whole pack seems to tiptoe around both of you."

I should have deflected. Should have said it was private pack business. But Sera had always been straightforward with me and I was tired of pretending.

"He made an arrangement with my father to marry me off to someone else. For political reasons. I found out and stopped it but the damage was done."

Sera's eyes widened. "He what? Without telling you?"

"Planned it for months. Had letters and agreements and everything. Only reason it didn't happen is I went through his private papers and found proof."

"That's unforgivable."

"That's what I keep telling myself. But then I see him struggling with pack business alone. Or I remember good times we had. And I wonder if I'm being too stubborn by not even trying to work through it."

"You're not being stubborn. He betrayed you in the worst possible way."

"I know. But we're still married. Still technically partners. And this limbo we're in isn't sustainable."

Sera leaned back. "What do you want? Not what you think you should do or what's best for the pack. What do you actually want?"

No one had asked me that directly. Everyone had opinions about what I should do but no one had asked what I wanted.

"I want to trust him again," I admitted. "I want to believe he's changed. But I don't know how to get there from here."

"Have you told him that?"

"No. We barely talk except about pack business."

"Maybe that's the problem. You can't rebuild trust without actually communicating."

After Sera left, I thought about what she'd said. She was right that avoiding Drogo wasn't solving anything. But every time I tried to have a real conversation with him, I got angry all over again.

That evening there was a pack gathering. Some celebration I couldn't get out of attending. I showed up late and stayed at the edge of the crowd.

Drogo was in the center talking to some of the warriors. He looked tired. Older than he had a few months ago. Like the weight of everything was crushing him.

Cole appeared next to me. "You should talk to him."

"I don't have anything to say."

"You have plenty to say. You're just scared to say it."

"I'm not scared."

"You are. You're scared that if you really talk to him, you'll either forgive him and risk getting hurt again, or you'll realize it's truly over and have to face that."

I hated that Cole could read me so easily. "When did you become a relationship expert?"

"I'm not. But I've watched you two dance around each other for two months and it's painful. Either fix it or end it. This middle ground is killing both of you."

He walked away before I could respond.

Later that night I couldn't sleep. Again. I kept thinking about what Cole and Sera had both said. About making a decision instead of just existing in this awful in-between.

Around midnight I gave up and went for a walk. Ended up at the training grounds again. Seemed to be my default destination these days.

Drogo was there. Also couldn't sleep apparently.

We stared at each other for a moment.

"We need to stop meeting like this," I finally offered.

"Do we? Because I think maybe we need to start meeting like this more often."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means we're both avoiding the real conversation we need to have. And I'm tired of it."

"So talk."

Drogo set down the practice sword he'd been holding. "I know I hurt you. I know I broke your trust in the worst way possible. And I know saying sorry doesn't fix that. But I need you to know something."

"What?"

"I love you. Not the idea of you, not what you do for the pack, not your title. You. And I will spend the rest of my life trying to earn back your trust if you'll let me. But if you won't, if you've decided this is over, then tell me. Put us both out of this misery."

"You don't get to make demands."

"I'm not making demands. I'm asking for clarity. Because I can handle you hating me. I can handle you never forgiving me. But I can't handle this endless waiting where I don't know if we're trying to fix things or just postponing the inevitable."

He was right. I'd been keeping him in limbo because I didn't know what else to do.

"I don't hate you," I admitted quietly. "I wish I did. It would be easier."

"Easier than what?"

"Than still loving you while not knowing if I can trust you again."

Drogo looked like I'd punched him. "You still love me?"

"Of course I still love you. That's what makes this so hard. If I didn't love you, I could just walk away and start over somewhere else. But I do love you and it's destroying me."

"Then let me fix this. Tell me what you need."

"I need you to understand that love isn't enough. I need to know you've actually changed. That you won't make decisions about my life without me ever again."

"I have changed. I swear to you—"

"Swearing doesn't mean anything. Aldric swore he loved me too and look how that turned out. Words are easy, Drogo. I need actions."

"Then what actions? Tell me and I'll do them."

I thought about it. "I need time. Real time where we're actually trying to rebuild instead of just avoiding each other. Where we talk honestly even when it's uncomfortable. Where you prove through your choices that you see me as an equal."

"How long?"

"I don't know. As long as it takes for me to feel safe with you again."

"And if that never happens?"

"Then we'll deal with it. But we won't know unless we actually try."

Drogo nodded slowly. "Okay. So what does trying look like?"

"It looks like you being honest with me about everything. Pack decisions, political situations, your fears and doubts. No more secrets."

"I can do that."

"And it looks like me actually giving you a chance instead of keeping you at arm's length forever."

"What about living arrangements? Are you coming back to our quarters?"

"Not yet. I'm not ready for that. But maybe we start having dinner together. Actually talking instead of just existing near each other."

"I'd like that."

We stood there in the training grounds. It wasn't fixed. We weren't okay. But it felt like the first real step forward we'd taken in months.

"I should get back," I eventually said. "Rosa will worry if I'm gone too long."

"Aria, wait."

I turned back.

"Thank you. For being willing to try. I know I don't deserve it."

"You're right. You don't. But I'm not doing this for you. I'm doing it for me. Because I need to know if we can actually come back from this or if I'm holding onto something that's already dead."

I left him there. Walked back to Rosa's place feeling lighter than I had in weeks.

It wasn't forgiveness. It wasn't trust. But it was something.

And right now, something was better than the nothing we'd been living with.

Rosa was still awake when I got back. She took one look at my face.

"You talked to him."

"I did."

"And?"

"And we're going to try. Actually try to fix this instead of just pretending it doesn't exist."

"How do you feel about that?"

"Terrified. But also relieved. At least now we're moving forward instead of just staying stuck."

Rosa hugged me. "I'm proud of you. This takes courage."

"Or stupidity. I'm not sure which yet."

"Maybe both. But at least you're doing something."

I went to bed that night still not knowing if Drogo and I could really fix what he'd broken. But for the first time in two months, I had hope that we might at least find out.

And hope was something I hadn't felt in a long time.