34-Finality-2

My heart began racing as we approached the gates, my palms sweating furiously as the car pulled up in front of the entrance gates. I leaned in my seat, trying to soothe my nerves but no matter how hard I tried, the urge to be sick was undeniable, nausea attacking me ferociously. Breathe Ari, breathe, I reminded myself. All I needed to do was to go in, get my things, and go out, simple as that. I had to be brave because being weak had taken a lot away from me. With determination I got out, ignoring the startled looks from the staff members who'd rushed outside. Stuart smiled sadly at me and tipped his hat, Meredith looked close to tears as she leaned against the double doors that led inside. Pity, it was obvious in their eyes that they pitied me, the stupid girl whose life had just been ruined. Not being able to stand beneath their intense gazes anymore, I rushed into the house and up the stairs, running as fast as my feet could carry me. Thankfully Zach was nowhere to be seen and I headed straight into my room which had been left untouched since the last time I'd been here. Grabbing my suitcase from the closet, I put in every useful thing which was in sight, shoving it all in forcefully. I didn't bother taking more than what I'd brought with me from home, Zach's money was dirty to me now and nothing which he bought for me could be near me. Thinking about that, I removed my wedding ring and place it on the dressing table where he'd find it immediately. After I had packed everything which I needed, I zipped up the bag and hauled it outside the room. Just as I was about to drag it down the stairs, I heard footsteps on the stairs, immediately making my body stiffen. It could be anyone. It wasn't him, it couldn't be him, no, he would be at work at this time. Please, I begged to anyone who would listen to me, don't let it be him. I sucked in a breath as the sound of footsteps grew nearer. Part of me wanted the suspense to end already but part of me wanted whoever was on the stairs to never come up to me. Wish fulfillment was, however, not something that I could claim as often happening. "Arianna..." The sound of his deep, masculine voice had the kind of effect on me that I wanted to get rid of once and for all. I hated the shudder that passed through my body, I hated the blood that rushed to my cheeks, I hated the weakness in my knees but most of all I hated him. Zach was barely dressed, like he'd just gotten out of bed; all he had on was a pair of grey sweatpants and a white wife-beater. His brows shot up in surprise as he looked at me, his gaze lingering on me longer than I wanted it to. I looked horrible and I knew that. The clothes I had on had been sent from home, a mismatched pair of dark grey jeans and a red blouse, one of my old ones which now clung tightly to my body. My hair was pulled up into a messy ponytail and my face lacked any makeup, making my eyes look empty. "I was just leaving..." I muttered, not being able to stand near him for longer than necessary. He opened his mouth to say something but then closed it. The vulnerability that was once in his eyes was replaced by detachment. "You don't have any other place to stay, don't be stupid," he said in a cynical voice, making me want to throttle him. "I'd rather be homeless than live in this hell hole with you!" I spat, surprised at the confidence and anger that shot through me. Gone was the girl he could sweep off her feet; he wasn't the guy I'd fallen for, heck I didn't even know if he ever was that guy or had it all been an act. "You're being emotional, once you're out on the streets without any money or food or shelter you'll probably come running back. Save yourself the embarrassment and just stay." Screw him. I trudged past him, carrying my suitcase but before I could make it to the stairs, he grabbed my arm and spun me around. My hand let go of the bag in surprise as I collided with Zach's chest, being swarmed by his intoxicating scent. His eyes looked glazed over as he stared intensely into my eyes; I could feel his heart beating wildly beneath the thin fabric of his wife-beater and I knew that mine was behaving in more or less the same way. "Let me go," I said breathlessly, trying to sound strong over the emotions that overwhelmed me, but it didn't look like he was listening as he pressed me further into him. It was only when his lips began nearing mine that I found enough strength to push him off of me. I was never going to make the mistake of allowing him in again, I'd given him my heart once and he'd walked all over it like it was trash; I'd been burnt by him and learnt my lesson to not go near that flame again. He seemed to snap out of whatever trance he was in and scowled at me. "Be a stubborn bitch then, don't come running to me when you realize that you're making a mistake." The harshness of his words did the trick; I was completely and utterly done with him, disgusted at myself for even allowing him to be so near me. "The mistake was always you Zach, ALWAYS! Marrying you ruined my life, I lost everything because of you and leaving you is the best idea I've ever had!" I yelled at him, satisfied when his cold expression morphed into one of hurt. "You know what, you and your sister are both ungrateful sluts. I gave you everything you could ever wish for but that wasn't enough was it? You're both pathetic and completely useless," he sneered as he began closing the gap between us again. His words were like a slap to the face, a blow which I found hard to reel from. I couldn't believe the things that were coming out of his mouth; was this the same guy who'd professed to love me forever? Were all the promises he made to me lies? "I can't believe I actually loved you and I can't believe I was ever stupid enough to believe that you loved me. Of course you didn't love me, you have no fucking idea what love is do you? I should've known better." "You were forced upon me, you are a liability. I do not love you, I will never love you Arianna." There it was, his words were clear as day and they finally made me realize why he'd treated me the way he did. He couldn't love me because I wasn't someone he'd picked for himself, I was thrust into his way and like an unwanted thorn he'd removed me from his side, hurting me beyond belief in the process. I wasn't going to cry for him, no matter what he said. I had to show him that I could take whatever he chose to throw at me. "Well then it's a good thing that you'll never see my face again." And with that I left, left him standing behind me, leaving him and all his damned memories sealed in that house. I would forget him, forget he ever happened and maybe, just maybe, I would find some peace.