Chapter 142: (final)

Mia's POV

He looked downtrodden.

Like he had gone through a whole lot.

He had bruises on his face and I could see some on his arm too.

His hair was all grown out and he did not seem to be in the right head space.

I had heard about what had happened and no matter how much I wanted out of this whole thing, I had to come see him. See how he was doing. He was the man I loved after all.

I could not leave JR, so I had to bring him with me.

Christian looked better, it was either because he beat the others up or was not engaged at all.

In everything, I was glad that he was still alive and doing well.

He smiled when he saw me. “Hey Mia, it has been a while. And oh! Is that JR? He looks so good.”

“Yea. Thanks. I would like to see Adrian.”

“Oh…he's in his usual.”

I remembered his usual. The lobby that looked over the yard. So, I went there.

He looked at me, surprise taking over his whole expression.

“Mia.” He called, standing up to hug me. He held me so tightly, I worried about the pains he was possibly enduring.

“Hey, you are hurt, you should take it easy.” I implored.

“It does not matter. I have missed you so much.”

“I know, me too.”

We disentangled and he sat back down. I sat with him too.

I traced my fingers down his face.

“You do not look fine, Adrian.”

“I lost a lot of men, Mia. They died because of me and that is on me. Look what I did to us. I can never forgive myself for it.” A sob escaped his lips.

“You have to be calm, Adrian.”

“How could I possibly be? This is all my fault and now, I have to live with this for the rest of my fucking life. Those men? Those men were put under my care and i should not have sent them out that way. Not in that manner. They died because of me, Mia.”

I shook my head in disagreement. He was beginning to be hard on himself and I did not like it. But, maybe, he was right, but then again, those men had a choice. That was not the topic of discussion though.

“And that has me thinking, if you were with me, I could have lost you and I cannot. Thank you for leaving when you did.”

Tears left my eyes. This was finally going to be it.

Maybe, he was finally going to let me go. I had no idea how I felt at the time.

There was a range of emotions that happened all at once and I could feel my head getting heavy.

“You deserve a better life than this. Than the one I can provide. You do not deserve this life filled with violence and neither does our child. You guys are the most precious things that have ever happened to me and I am so, so sorry I am only realising that now.” He continued, sobbing more.

“Adrian.” I called.

“Please.” I did not know what I was begging for, but I found myself saying the words.

For a long time, I have fought so hard for this. I always knew at the back of my mind that this was not going to last for so long a time, but now that he was saying the words, I could not help but let my heard break. It was almost a physical pain.

“No, Mia. This is all my fault. Had I accepted my faith sooner, all of this would have not happened. Things would have been a little more better.” I only looked at him, tears blurring my vision.

“Where is he?”

“He is down with Christian. They seem to get along just fine.”

“Alright. I just ask that you let me hold you. Just for a while. Then you can leave. Please.”

There was no need to deny him. That was exactly what I wanted too and so, I let him hold me and I felt comfortable in his hold, basking in the warmness, letting myself know that this was the last time I was going to let myself feel this way with him again.

It was way past noon and time for lunch and he insisted we had to have lunch together as a family.

“I am probably asking a lot, but this would be the last. I promise.”

What harm was there in having dinner with my child's father?

If anything, we were going to create new memories through it.

We got up from our position and made out way to the dining, where we had a nice meal.

Amongst the ladies that served us was Ava. I looked at her and as if feeling my state she looked back at me.

We shared a smile and she nodded, while looking up and down at me. I could tell that she approved.

I never got around to crocheting anything, but her support at that time meant a lot to me, so I whispered, “thank you” and she responded with a shake of the head, with a smile on her lips.

Christian brought in JR and we all ate.

“Thank you so much for coming out here to see me. If you want, I can always come see you and the baby. If you need me, you do know you can call me right?”

“Thank you.” I knew it was going to be a while before I called.

I was going to be sending him pictures of JR though, so he knew that he was not erased from his son's life and JR was going to know that his father loved him so much so, that he was willing to stay away to protect him.

And as for me, I knew what I was going to do with my life moving forward, I was going to start my business, based on my passion and I was going to pursue it so fervently.

I went through the gates and out if Adrian's residence with the thoughts of a new dawn going through my whole being.