Chapter 60: What he did

*Julia*

I awake alone, his side of the bed empty, as it will remain for the rest of my years. I have been fortunate enough to love two men in my life. There will not be a third.

Glancing at the clock on the mantel, I see it is nearly one. I do wish Nick had awoken me before he left, for one more goodbye. But then after that one, I would want another. He has the right of it. Best to just move on.

It had been so easy at Evermore when it was only us, alone, not having to carry on conversations with people in pack Society. So easy to forget what is at stake, what matters within the upper echelons we inhabit.

I slip out of bed. My stomach roils. Pressing a hand to my mouth, I realize I probably should not have had the brandy on top of the champagne, especially when I haven’t eaten at the ball. Nothing had appealed. The thought of breakfast doesn’t appeal now.

As I go to ring for my maid, another wave of nausea rolls through me. I dash across the room, hang my head over the washbasin, and heave. When I’m finished, I pour water from the pitcher into a glass, rinse out my mouth, grab a towel, and wipe the perspiration from my face. I do hope I’m not getting ill.

Starting across the room, intent on yanking the bell pull this time, I stop and place a hand on my stomach. Oh dear Goddess. Closing my eyes, I begin counting back weeks. I haven’t had a menses since welcoming Nick into my bed.

I sink to the floor. This changes everything. I can’t bring a bastard into the world, not Nick’s. Poor child. It doesn’t matter that his father is an Alpha. There will be no place for him in pack Society. If it’s a girl… it will be so much worse. No good marriage.

Do I deny one child knowing the truth about her father in order to protect another? I don’t see that I have a choice. I have to protect both children. Nick would agree. I know he would. I have to find him, talk with him. But after I’m dressed for the day, I discover he is nowhere about. He’s gone out to see to some business. When he returns, we will discuss how best to handle this situation. Until then, there is no cause for alarm or worry.

I’m going through some of the things Noah left in his study… another journal, notes regarding a bill he is considering presenting in the House of Alphas, a ball of string, a bent penny, other little things that I desperately wish to know why he had bothered to keep, wish to understand their significance… when the butler announces that I have callers and presents the cards of the Lunas Ashebury, Avendale, and Lovingdon.

Walking into the parlor, I find them standing, a triumvirate of the youngest, most beloved, and powerful ladies of the next generation.

Stepping forward, Minerva takes my hands. “My dear, as soon as we received word of what had transpired within the House of Alphas this afternoon, we thought to come here and offer our support.”

My stomach drops, a million possibilities, each one of them involving Nick, racing through my mind. “What transpired?”

“The Alpha of Greystorm stood before the assembly and announced that he was Nick. That it was Noah who was killed in the dark lands.”

I shake my head in disbelief, my knees growing weak. It isn’t supposed to happen that way. He is to write a letter to the Alpha Times; he isn’t supposed to face his peers so publicly.

“He said you only learned of the truth last night. That it was time to bring the farce to an end.”

“Farce?” I repeat.

“He swore that nothing untoward passed between you,” Grace, Luna of Lovingdon, says. “That you are an innocent in all of this.”

Minerva studies my face. “But he lied, didn’t he?”

I can only shake my head. Until I understand his plan, know exactly what he is telling people, I can neither confirm nor deny anything. Why hasn’t he discussed the matter with me before doing anything so rash? “Shall I ring for tea?”

“I think we should sit.”

“Yes.” I take a chair, while the ladies line up on the sofa, with Minerva closest to me. Although I appreciate that they are offering their support, all I want is to usher them out the door so I can find Nick.

“I’m sure Tomwill be here presently,” Minerva says. “I left word for him that I was coming straight over, although he will probably head here anyway. Grace was the one who first received word.”

“Why now?” Rose, Luna of Avendale, asks. “Why confess now and not before?”

I shake my head. “I’m rather baffled right now, ladies. I hardly know what to say.” Not until I speak with Nick.

The slamming of the front door has me jumping to my feet, nearly dashing from the room to greet Nick and ask him what the bloody hell he’s been thinking. Only it is Ashebury who barges into the room.

“Where is he?” he demands. “Is he here?”

“No, I don’t know where he is. What exactly happened?”

“He stood up in the House of Alphas and declared himself to be Nick. He confessed that his original intent was to honor a vow he made to Noah to ensure you didn’t lose the babe but then he realized it was to his benefit to continue on with the ruse, as he had considerable gaming debts and the unsavory men holding his markers were not the forgiving sort.”

“Is that true?” Minerva asks before I can.

“Absolutely not. At least not what he told me,” Tomsays.

“Would he have told you if he was in trouble?” his wife inquires.

Tomsighs. “When it comes to Nick, who knows? He loves to tell stories, but I have no reason to believe he lied.”

“So he lied to all the other Alphas?” Minerva seems horrified.

“Apparently so.”

She shakes her head, “Why would he do that?”

“To protect me,” I say.

“How does his story do that when you have been living together for months now?”

I have no response to that question.

“Nick explained that away,” Tombegins, “by assuring everyone that his relationship with Julia remained chaste. Naturally, no one found that difficult to believe, as we all know he never had a kind word for you. He went on to say that you were growing suspicious, so he paid off his debts and he is once again free. Or some rubbish like that. I could scarce believe what I was hearing. Of course, the chambers erupted and he walked out.”

“Probably in need of a stiff drink,” Minerva offers.

He smiles at his wife before looking at me. “I was waylaid, as everyone pounced on me to find out if I’d known what he was up to and if it was true.”

“Why did you say?” I ask.

“What could I say? That I have never known him to lie. I just wish he had bloody well told me what he planned so I would have been prepared and could have provided my support in a more effective manner. I’m rather certain I resembled a fish that finds itself flopping about on shore.”

Which I suspect is the very reason Nick hadn’t told him. He wanted his reaction to be honest. “He didn’t want to draw you into our mess.”

“Well, he should have. That’s what brothers are for. I know I’m not his brother by blood, but I am, by the Goddess, his brother!”

“Darling,” Minerva says, rubbing her hand up and down his arm, “you must calm yourself.”

“I simply don’t understand his strategy.”

“Is anyone talking about me?” I ask.

“No, they’re all . . .” He sighs. “He is the one they are speculating about. And not very flatteringly, I’m afraid. Hiding behind his brother’s death and a she-wolf’s skirts. Which I assume is what he meant to accomplish by painting himself as a villain.”

“In a year or so he will be forgiven,” Minerva says.

“In all likelihood, yes,” Tomconfirms, before turning his attention back to me. “Should his words not be enough to protect you, know that I, Minerva, and Zac… even though he is not in London… will stand by you.”

“As will we,” the Luna of Lovingdon says. “And Avendale. We’ve all been touched by scandal in one way or another. It’s easier to ride out the storm if you’re not alone in the boat.”

“I’m going to pour us all a drink,” Ashebury says.

“Scotch,” the three Lunas say in unison.

The Alpha raises a brow at me. “Nothing for me, thank you,” I tell him. If I were with child, I’m not going to indulge in spirits. Nor am I going to tell Nick. I don’t need to burden him when he already has so much on his plate. I will return to Evermore and, once there, determine how best to handle the situation.

My guests sit in my parlor sipping their spirits. I have sandwiches and cakes brought in. Darkness falls.

Ashebury begins to pace. “Where the deuce is he?”

“Gentleman’s club?” Minerva asks.

“I don’t think he’d be in the mood for the company of Alphas. If anything, he’s probably in someplace like St. Giles, trying to get lost.” He looks at me. “Do you have any clue as to where he might be?”

I have a fairly good one, but the fact that he isn’t here and Ashebury doesn’t know where to look tells me that Nick wants no company. “I’m afraid I don’t. But I’m sure he’ll return here when he’s ready. I’ll send word when he does. No reason for you to ruin your evening by staying and keeping me company.”

He narrows his eyes. “Why do I have the impression that you’re trying to get rid of us?”

“Because I am. Nothing is to be gained by your being here, and it’s quite possible that your carriages out front are keeping him walking the streets.”

Ashebury looks as though he’s contemplating what he might gain by throttling me.

“She’s quite right,” Minerva announces, coming to her feet. “We should be off.”

Tompoints a finger at her. “Send word as soon as he gets here.”

Minerva wraps her hand around his finger. “It’s rude to point, dear.”

“I want to know that he’s all right.”

“I’ll send word,” I assure him.

He still seems somewhat disgruntled as he escorts the she-wolves out. I wait half an hour before ordering a servant to have a carriage readied.