Chapter 24
Micah POV
“Err... What? “I asked paying dumb. It is either she realize that the letter is about her or it is about the way I have avoided her as if she has a plague... No, if she has a plague I would totally not avoid her.
“Don’t play dumb with me Vegas. You know what “Alyssa said taking on the offensive.
“If you mean the fly in your hornet then I can assure you that I have absolutely nothing to do with it. You might want to find the person who put the fly there to pick a bone with. "I said without hostility.
I know, I know. I am asking for it and a fool for trying to antagonizing Alyssa when she is angry at me but what do I do, if I start playing defensive now and it gets to the point where she accuse me for falling for her or keeping something from her, I will spit out the truth before I could stop myself so this is actually the best course of action.
“Oh, I am facing the person right now and if the person isn't so careful he might not get to live to see his high school graduation.” Alyssa said with a deceptive cool tone but with a fierce glare on her face.
I did what any smart person would do, or anybody with an inkling of self-preservation. I kept quiet. I would have loved to tell her that the chances of me surviving graduation is definitely less than hundred but I did not.
“Why have you been avoiding me?” Alyssa spat out. “Is it because I said yes to date Jake.”
I froze as I turned to look at her, she has started to date Jake. Is she a glutton for punishment or just plain dumb? “You have started dating Jake. “I asked icily "after everything.”
“Well, yes.” Alyssa said looking at me weirdly. “That is not what we are talking about.”
“Then by all means, enlighten me about what we are discussing.” I said with a glare as I folded my hands across my chest and waited for her to continue.
“Will you stop acting like I betrayed you, it is my love life not yours.” Al snapped at me.
“Okay, " I ended conversation without changing my mind, and from the tone I used. She knows it too. “Whatever you say.”
"Well why have you been distant recently.” she asked me with a glare of her own.
Because I don't want you to know that I have a tumor in my brain or see me as weak. That is the reply I was supposed to give, the first thing that entered my head to say and also the last thing I would ever say to Alyssa. So instead I gave a reply that would make us quarrel and that would buy me some time alone and free from disturbance. “Because recently you have been annoying the hell out of me.” I gritted out. I hate lying to Al.
It is not lying, it is a little fibbing according to Alyssa herself. All you are doing is protecting her, like the friend you are, like the fact that you loves her might make her feel unbalanced especially during this period so you have to protect her by keeping quiet about that too.
“Micah, what is wrong with you these days. Not only has that it seemed like you have a bone to pick with me but also you have done a complete 360 on your character. “Alyssa exploded as she explains to me.
If you knew how close you are to the truth, if only you knew part of it, then you would understand and be there for me like a true friend, but it is going to kill me, you being around my hospital bed but as a friend and nothing more. I can't do that to you and the future me, I know I love you for a while now but I love you enough not to tie your fate to mine, especially when I am sinking.
“The important people in my life don't complain about the change, like my family and friends." only because they know what is going and very recently my mother having been turning into a dear friend.
Al mouth popped open at that in shock. I just told her that I don't consider her my friend. “Micah. " she said softly as if I don't realize what that statement means. I have to wipe that delusion from her head, this conversation is killing me faster than the cancer in my head.
“What, you are never here. It is not my fault that I didn't hold my life in one place and wait for you to break your heart again before you realize that I am always going to be here waiting for you then you come back, cry on my shoulders, I forgive you and help you stand on your feet again only for the same cycle to repeat itself again. I hate that I always hold my life in place when yours go astray because somebody have to be around to pick you up. “I said heatedly, I will have to admit, not all that was faked. Those emotions were real and it is the truth, the anger and frustration I always felt when it comes to Alyssa dating and refusing to listen to anyone once she sets her eyes on who she wants or when some boy turns her head. I will always be there for her. Why can't she see it, why can't she see me...?
Alyssa was quiet for a while before she lifted her head and looked at me directly in the eyes the asked me a question I always wanted to hear before I discovered I had tumor.
"Is this about the fact that I never saw you as anything more than a friend, your letter made that clear. I am the person the character in the letter was talking about right? “She asks looking at me straight in the eyes, my heart leaped out of my chest.