Chapter 69: Lost II - The Royal Hybrid

Hayden’s POV

Everyone around me wore black for the occasion and everyone had the same grim look on their faces. Another funeral, another young life lost. Or at least that was what people thought.

I knew I had put hope into Gabriel the day I told him about my suspicions, but to me, it wasn’t just a suspicion, it was the truth. I knew she was alive somewhere; I just knew it. She had to be.

I met Gabriel’s eyes in the crowd as we walked toward one another. We hadn’t spoken much after the meeting with our Luna and alpha yesterday as we had all agreed to go forward with the funeral. Shane said that if Killian was to come, he would come no matter what we were up to, and he wanted to put his daughter to rest so that was what we were going to do.

The border patrols had been doubled and the hidden safety rooms for the women and children had been secured and prepped. Zaya was even talking about making a potion that could ensure their safe escape should everything go sideways and, from what I knew, she had been up all night trying to make it. At least it looked like it. She had dark circles under her eyes and her skin looked even more pale than usual. Not that it came as a surprise.

Our Luna looked the exact same, not that anyone would blame her. After all, after today, she would have buried both of her children within a short period of time. No one would wish that for anyone, not even for their worst enemy. As far as I had heard, there was no greater pain than to outlive your child.

“Are you ready?” Gabriel asked as he approached me.

“As ready as I can be,” I muttered and scouted through the crowd, looking for one particular face.

And there it was.

Kathleen.

Now that I knew who she really was, I wanted to rip her apart. I had to hand it to her though. She was good at lying and faking. If I didn't know the truth I would be convinced she was devastated, but now that I did, I wanted nothing more than to tell her to get lost and take those fake tears with her.

“Don’t look at her like that,” Gabriel growled into my ear.

“What?” I hissed, still not taking my eyes off her.

“You are not exactly trying to hide your disgust and the ‘I want to kill her’ energy you are giving is not exactly lowkey either.”

“Sorry,” I grumbled and turned my face. “I didn’t know that I was being that obvious.”

“Obvious? Hayden, if it wasn’t because people were focusing on the damn coffin right in front of them, everyone here would have noticed it.”

“What is even up with that,” I huffed.

“With what?”

“The coffin,” I breathed. “It is not like she is in there anyway, so why even bother getting one.”

“Because they need some sort of closure,” he spoke softly. “There might not be a body, but burying a coffin, empty or not, will bring some sort of satisfaction to their grief.”

“I guess you are right. It all just seems…”

“Weird? Like a lie? A scam?”

“Pretty much,” I chuckled dryly. “If we could only have told them.”

“I know, but you know why we can’t, and trust me, once all of this is over, I will go with you to find her, wherever she may be.”

“Even when you don’t know with certainty that she is alive?”

“I trust you,” he said and nudged me in my side. “You feel like she is, you are certain and that is enough for me.”

“Thank you,” I smiled, this time a genuine one. “We should probably find our seats, shouldn’t we?”

“Probably, yes.”

We walked between the chairs that once again had been set up on our green area and, just like last time, it hurt taking each step closer to where the coffin was. Which I found odd, seeing as I knew what I knew, but despite it, the heavy feeling in my chest only grew. It felt as if a balloon had been blown up too much and was ready to burst inside of me. The pressure was intense, not in a painful way, but in a way that felt a bit like when you get butterflies in your stomach and then again not. It was not something I could describe because, to be honest, it was unlike anything I had ever felt before. I eyed Gabriel only to find an uncomfortable look plastered all over his face. It wasn’t the look of grief or sadness, no, it was the look that screamed ‘I don’t like this’. Did he feel the pressing sensation as well? Was something about to happen?

As we continued to walk toward the front row, I searched the crowd ahead of me looking for Zaya and when I found her, as she appeared from behind the empty coffin, she was already looking at me. Something told me that whatever this was, she either knew about it or had something to do with it.

“Can everybody please find a seat, so we can begin?” She spoke out loud.

Talia and Shane came up to us, followed by both of my dads. They both gave me a quick hug before taking a seat. The Luna and Alpha went up to stand next to Zaya and once everyone else had taken a seat as well, it began.

“We have gathered here today to send yet another young soul on their last journey of life,” Zaya said in a steady voice before she gestured to Luna Talia to continue.

“Tatiana was taken from here when she was little but that didn’t stop her from touching all of our hearts when she returned. Despite her short time here, she managed to gain love, trust, and respect from everyone here. She even got to experience what love was like, and not just to one, but to two mates. She was a kindhearted person, a person who knew right from wrong, and in her efforts to find her place here she also showed us what true strength was like,” she gulped, and I could see how a stray tear ran down her cheek. “Tatiana was my daughter, our daughter, and even now when she is gone, she will forever still be with us.”

She took a deep breath and looked over at Alpha Shane, who quickly took her hand and nodded.

“No parent should ever outlive their kids. It is a grave pain that is beyond explaining to someone who has never been in that position, but it is also a pain I would never wish on my worst enemy. But despite the pain we have felt, not just us, but everyone she touched with her presence, we have good memories too, and with that, we have something we can take with us further in life. She won’t be forgotten, nor will she ever be replaced. She belonged to this pack just like the pack belonged to her, and without her here we now have another empty gap to fill. So it is with a heavy heart that I ask all of you to fill that empty space with love, memories, and honor.”

She took a step down, her eyes running over the coffin at the same time as her hand gently caressed it, and with that Alpha Shane took the stand.

“I don’t know if there is any more for me to say that my mate hasn’t already said, except for the fact that I have loved her since the day I laid my eyes on her for the first time and that that will never change. I know she is with Lucas now and I can only hope that he has welcomed her with open arms.”

He made a stiff nod, cleared his throat, and then said the words I dreaded the most.

“I think I will give the last words to Hayden and Gabriel, who not only lost their best friend but also their mate.”

My dad gave me a gentle nudge in my side and, with a small smile, nodded encouraging. Gabriel, who was sitting on my right, gave my hand a quick squeeze before he stood up. He adjusted his blazer and held out his hand for me to take. Normally we wouldn’t show our affection out in public, but this time was different. This time it would be seen as two people who had lost a loved one, comforting each other and nothing more. I took his hand and let him guide me up to the podium where our Luna and Alpha had stood only seconds ago, but the closer I got to the coffin, the more my heart ached, and I had to remind myself that she wasn’t in there; that she was alive.

I tore my eyes away from the shiny white oak tree and turned around to face the crowd that now was quieter than ever.

“I don’t know much about giving speeches,” I admitted. “It is not something I had ever thought I would, especially not in a situation like this. As many of you already know, I fell apart when the horrifying truth came out. That she was gone…” I took a second to think of what I was going to say. After all, I had to show my grief despite me not having any at the moment.

“The day I met Tatiana, I felt it right away. I had heard about it from others, and even read about it in books, but I had never expected that I would feel it myself and when I did, I learned that no matter how hard you try to explain how a mate bond feels, you will never truly be able to explain the exact feeling. It will always be so much more, something that can never be described. She was not only beautiful on the outside, no, she was beautiful on the inside as well, and the second she first smiled at me and let me feel the warmth that radiated from her heart, I knew that I indeed had been blessed by the moon goddess. And I wasn’t the only one,” I said, and pulled Gabriel a bit closer to me. “Gabriel here has always been one of my best friends, but as you all know, I had a bit of a hard time dealing with the fact that I wasn’t her only mate; that I now had to share my ray of sunshine with someone else. But despite everything that went down back then, he soon showed himself to be the rock in my life. We might have been bonded through her, but after her death, we stuck together, and had it not been for him I surely wouldn’t be standing here now and that is another thing I have to thank her for. She reconnected us, and gave us another chance to reconcile and be for each other what we always had been. She gave us a chance of saving each other, a chance not many people get after losing their mate.”

I could feel Gabriel shuffling a bit next to me and when I turned my head to look at him, I could see his lip quivering.

“She was and will forever be my whole heart, our whole heart, and so I want all of us to use everything she gave us, from love to smiles, to happy memories… I want us to use that to ensure that her memory will stay alive.”

With that, I took a step back and pushed Gabriel forward. I knew he was a man of few words, but I also knew that he had something on his mind. He looked back at me and, as the only thing I could do, I offered him a smile.

“I don’t have much to say. Everyone who knows me knows that I’m not good with… Feelings. I never have been and yet when it came to her my feelings were on full display. I won’t try to make those feelings appear now because I most likely can't. However, what I can do is admit to not only myself, but to everyone here, that I have never loved anyone as I love her. I won’t stand here and say it as if it belongs in the past, because I honestly don’t ever think I'll stop loving her. She had a special place not only in my heart but in all of our hearts and I know that with that, she will live on and our love for her will continue. A mating bond is infinite and so will my affection and love for her be,” he said as he looked down and not so discreetly dried his cheek on his shoulder. “I want to thank everyone for coming here. Not just to mourn her death, but to celebrate her life. So, thank you for that,” he croaked out before stepping back, so he was once again by my side.

We turned around, hand in hand, and walked over to her coffin. The white shiny oak tree it was made of was colder than I had expected it to be. From afar it looked almost soft, yet now when my skin was touching it, it felt cold and hard just like I imagined death would feel like.

Zaya was once again talking, but I had zoned out, trying to focus on what would be next.

Within minutes, people came up in lines, giving us their condolences and covering the coffin with roses. When everyone was done, there was no white to be seen, only red.