Chapter 66 - Lost II - The Royal Hybrid

Gabriel’s POV

It had been a week. A week of nothing but pain and despair, spent trying to learn how to deal with what now was our life. Everything was harder than it had ever been. Such simple things as breathing had shown to be difficult. Every breath I took felt like someone was putting burning charcoal down my throat. Eating was not something we could most of the time and being force fed was not something I took joy in either, and when it came to sleeping… Well, sleep was no longer a word I knew the meaning of.

I’ve always been told that grief has different stages and shows differently with each person going through it, but I had already been through it once before. I knew what was coming and how to react in order to stay strong for those around me, or so I thought. This was different from what I had tried before and not just a little. It was a lot. Losing my parents had left me stronger and more guarded which I at that time had thought was a good thing. I didn’t remember much about how I went through it besides the fact that I drifted away from Hayden and detached myself from people, which I was now slowly doing again. However, this time there was a slight difference. This time I avoided most people besides him.

He and I had grown closer than we had ever been before, even as kids, and the only reason to that was because no one really understood what we were going through besides each other.

Had someone told me a year ago that Hayden would turn out to be my rock and be the only reason why I was somehow still alive, I wouldn’t have believed them and yet here we were.

I was placed in front of the window most days. I didn’t know what exactly I was waiting for or why I was staring at the horizon all day. Maybe I was hoping that this had all been a mistake, that it had been nothing more than a terrible dream. That if I stared out there long enough, I would get to see her come running over the hill, her bright eyes shining in the sun, her wavy hair flowing free in the same wind that would also color her cheeks the perfect shade of pink, while her arms were wide open for us to run into.

But as the days went by, reality was slowly starting to sink in. She wouldn’t come and this was not a nightmare I could wake up from. She was truly gone and those bright eyes… The way her hair would fall down her neck and shoulders… The way it felt to have her arms around me… It was nothing more than a memory for me to keep, a sweet dream that I could only pray to dream whenever I began sleeping again.

I walked into Hayden’s room to check on him, expecting him to be where I left him last, but he was nowhere near the window nor was he on the bed where he would usually lay and stare into space.

“Hayden?” I called out and felt a chill run through my body when all I was met with was silence.

I didn’t stay to wonder where he had gone, no, I turned on my heals and began making my way down the hall. There was only one other place he felt at peace these days besides his own room. My room.

I slowly twisted the doorknob as I wasn’t sure whether he was sleeping or not, but when I walked in, I was met with the exact same thing. An empty room and a silence so heavy I could hear my own heartbeat.

I was about to mindlink him when I heard shuffling from the room across the hall. My palms got clammy; my throat closed up and I felt the sweat beginning to take form on my forehead as I turned my head to look at the door everyone had kept closed for the past week; the room everyone had avoided with every inch of their body.

I stood in front of it for what felt like an eternity when I felt a hand on my shoulder.

“What is going on?” Kyle asked me with concern in his voice.

“I think your son is in there,” I whispered, barely audible as I continued to stare at the doorhandle that burned my hand just by thinking of grabbing it.

“Are you sure?” he asked, just as another crashing sound could be heard in there.

Without thinking further about it my hand grabbed the handle and twisted it. Both Kyle and I burst into the room and was met with papers that were scattered all over the floor and a flushed-looking Hayden in the middle of the room looking frantic.

“What is going on?” I asked him, nearing him slowly.

He didn’t answer me, he just looked up, his eyes bigger than I had ever seen them before and his mouth was wide open as if he wanted to say something but couldn’t.

“Hayden?!”

I edged closer to him, reaching for his arm, but he brushed past me before I could even blink.

“Hayden!” I called, not daring to move.

My eyes darted to Kyle, who looked like he didn’t know what to say and when we heard a door slam shut only to see him rush past us shortly after, darting towards the stairs, my body finally moved.

“Hayden, wait!” I called out before running after him. “I got this!” I yelled back at Kyle, who was about to join me.

I bolted down the stairs, almost tripping over myself, and headed for the front door that he had just vanished out of, but he was so much faster than I was, so when I finally reached it and stepped out on the front porch, he was nowhere to be seen.

My eyes ran over the grassy area out front, stopping at every tree and bush to see if he had decided to stop somewhere, but he hadn’t, and it wasn’t until a gush of wind hit me in the face that I understood why he was so far gone already.

He had shifted.

I dragged my hand through my hair and before I could think further of it, I shook my head and jumped down the stairs before shifting mid-run.

Whatever was going on with him, was not something I wanted him to go through alone.

‘Hayden!’

I ran as fast as I could while following his scent. I had no idea where he was headed, but one thing was for sure, he was leaving pack land. Did he have some kind of meltdown while I wasn’t there? Did something trigger him?

‘Hayden! Wait!’

But he didn’t. If he did anything at all, it was picking up more speed. When I reached the end of the forest, I couldn’t help but notice the way he had been forcing himself through the bushes. Some of his fur was stuck to the small branches, the thorns most likely ripping it from him while he ran through them. I jumped over them, ignoring the faint scent of blood, and continued running. I needed to catch up with him before he would end up hurting himself even more or worse, someone else.

In the distance, just as I came out to the open field, I could see the silhouette of him as he jumped over a fallen tree. I forced myself to pick up the pace, my heart beating so fast I thought it would cave in at any second and then… Then he stopped.

I slowed down as I approached him, as I didn’t know what was going on. I didn’t want him to take off again, but I couldn’t stay this far away either, especially not when he didn’t want to answer me.

‘I’m coming over,’ I warned him as I began jogging over there.

When I neared him, I slowed down even more before I began circling around him to be face to face with him.

He looked like he had frozen in place. His eyes were fixed on the horizon in front of us, his mouth was open just enough for him to breathe through it and his nostrils were flaring as if he was trying to pick up a scent. I looked at him all over, trying to see if he was hurt. He had after all been running right through the thorn bushes surrounding the forest, but not a scratch was to be seen.

I let out a breath and shook my head as I grew even more thankful for our sped-up healing process.

‘Hayden,’ I tried again. ‘It’s me, Gabriel.’

He didn’t even acknowledge that I was there, he just continued staring into absolutely nothing. I tried to follow his gaze while I snuck my snout into the air and took a big whiff in order to get a hint of what he was looking for, but I came up with nothing but the smell of him and our pack land in the distance. There was no one anywhere near us nor had there been anyone here for some time.

‘Can you smell it?’ he suddenly asked.

‘Smell what?’ I asked, looking him dead in the eye searching for something, anything, that would give up what he was talking about.

‘She’s alive.’

I didn’t know what to expect, but that was not it. I kept staring at him, waiting for him to elaborate, but he didn’t. He only continued to stare out into nothing and for a second I wasn’t even sure I had heard what he had said. It had to be a mistake. Right?

‘She is alive,’ he repeated after some time, and now I was sure I had heard him correctly.

My body began to shake as I felt the familiar squeeze around my heart. The hurt… The pain… It was slowly creeping its way back in trying to gather its claws around me again. I couldn’t listen to this… I couldn’t be here for this. Not now. I looked at him one last time before I walked around him and, with slow yet steady steps, began walking back.

I ignored everything around me. I ignored the way the wind had picked up its pace and was now wild and uncontrollable. I ignored the way my legs began shaking even more at the mere thought of what it would be like if she actually was alive and... I ignored him.

“Did you hear what I said?” he yelled after me so loudly that I for a second, was so confused about how I could hear him outside of my head, that I turned around.

He had shifted back and was now standing naked only a few meters away. His eyes were glossy but, for once, they weren’t dead. They were filled to the brim with hope and determination. Something I couldn’t afford to feel.

“Gabriel!” he shouted, his voice sounding more strained. “Don’t just walk away from me.”

I wanted to scream at him to shut up, to just go home and stay there, but instead I continued to walk. I wanted to run, but my feet wouldn’t listen. Why wouldn’t they listen…

“Gabriel!”

And suddenly, I was pulled back down to earth and thrown back into reality as his hand shoved me in the side. I growled at him loudly, but he didn’t even as much as flinch.

“I know you heard me. I know it sounds crazy but it is true! I can feel it!” he continued, his voice pleading me. “You can’t just ignore me! You can’t just walk away!”

And that was the last straw. Before I knew it, I had shifted back, my hand was firmly holding onto his wrist before shoving him away from me.

“You want to talk about ignoring someone, huh? How about the fact that you ignored me and then just took off!” I screamed. “You ran this far away from home only to tell me what exactly? Your hopes and dreams? She is gone, Hayden! She is dead!”

“She is not.”

He looked down at the ground, his left hand soothing his right wrist that I had just been holding. I had no idea of what game he was playing, but I didn’t want to be a part of it.

“She is!” I stated as firmly as I could before I turned on my heals and continued to walk.

I wasn't sure of who i was trying to convince more. Him or myself.

“I know you don’t believe me, hell I wouldn’t even believe me, but… I can’t explain it, I can’t tell you why, but I can… I can sense her…”

“Yeah? Then why can’t I?” I asked, looking back at him. “I am her mate too and you want to know what I can feel? Nothing. I feel nothing, not even emptiness, because even emptiness would leave some sort of feeling inside of me, something I could be clinging to!” I yelled while waving my arms in the air. “She is gone, and she is not coming back and the sooner you understand that...” I looked him in the eyes, the eyes that now looked dull and sad. “The better it will be,” I finished and turned to leave.

“Please,” he begged, his voice cracking. “Please trust me on this. I can’t explain it to you, and I don’t know why you can’t sense her, but please, trust me. She might have been the one who bound us together in the first place, but now I am your mate too. Trust me like you would her.”

"I... I don't know if I can," I choked out. "I can't... I can't do this again."

"Please," he begged, his voice getting louder as he got closer. "Please Gabe..."

I threw my head back and closed my eyes. I could feel him standing right behind me, feel his hot and unsteady breath on my neck and before I could change my mind, I whispered the words that not only he needed to hear, but also the words that in the end could either give me hope or be a part of my undoing.

"Okay, I trust you."