Chapter 142: Side Story 1-10

Roxanne

Things with Paul couldn't have been going any better. We've been going out officially for a few weeks now. I love spending time with him. Just seeing his face is enough to bring a smile to mine.

He's so adorably gorgeous, like he doesn't know how beautiful he is.

We go on dates, and I spend nights at his house sometimes, and he spends nights at mine. We've gotten into a seamless routine in our relationship.

We talk every day, a few times on the days we don't see each other.

Things were going great. Almost too great. That's why when things hit the fan with Liam, they shook me to the bottom of my core.

I was so mad at myself because that ass grabbed Liam when I was supposed to be with him, watching his back.

Thankfully, Chase arrived and saved Liam before the prick could do any real harm to him.

I could do nothing but apologize to Liam over and over again for not being there when I should have been.

These feelings from this situation that I bottled up inside caused me to pull away from Paul. I started ignoring his calls and texts, turning him down when he wanted to see me.

I just felt so worthless. I couldn't even protect my own brother, how the hell would I manage to take care of and protect my omega??

I didn't want Paul getting too involved with me. But I was too much of a coward to tell him that he should leave me alone.

I wanted him to stop on his own; that's why I figured if I ignored him, he would make that move himself.

I sit on my couch a week and a half later, staring at my phone, the screen lit up with unread messages from Paul. Each notification is a reminder of the distance I've put between us, a divide that seems to grow wider with each passing day. I know I should reach out, explain why I've been pulling away, but the words feel lodged in my throat, impossible to articulate.

The incident with Liam still haunts me. The memory of that asshole grabbing him, of my failure to protect him, plays on a loop in my mind. I was supposed to be there, to watch his back, but I wasn't. And because of that, Liam could have been hurt. The guilt and shame are overwhelming, a heavy weight on my chest that makes it hard to breathe.

I take a deep breath, trying to calm the storm of emotions inside me. I know I need to talk to Paul to explain why I've been distant, but I'm afraid. Afraid that he'll see the weakness in me, the failure. Afraid that he'll decide I'm not worth the trouble, that he'll leave.

My phone buzzes again, and I look down to see another message from Paul.

"Hey, babe, I miss you. Can we talk? Please?"

I sigh, running a hand through my hair. I know I can't keep ignoring him, can't keep pushing him away. He deserves better than that, deserves to know the truth. I type out a response, my fingers hovering over the send button for a moment before I finally press it.

"Hey Paul, can we meet up? There's something I need to talk to you about."

I hit send and lean back on the couch, closing my eyes. I know this conversation won't be easy, that it might even end our relationship, but I owe it to Paul to be honest with him. I owe it to myself to face my fears and take responsibility for my actions.

A few hours later, I'm sitting across from Paul in a quiet café, the aroma of coffee and donuts filling the air. He looks at me with concern in his eyes, his hand reaching across the table to take mine.

"Thank you for meeting with me," he says softly. "I've been worried about you."

I take a deep breath, steeling myself for what I'm about to say. "Paul, I have something I need to tell you. Something happened with Liam."

I go on to explain the incident, the guilt and shame I feel, and how it's affected my ability to be present in our relationship. I tell him about the feelings of worthlessness, about how I don't want to drag him down with me.

Paul listens intently, his grip on my hand tightening as I speak. When I finish, he's quiet for a moment, processing what I've said. Then he leans forward, his eyes filled with emotion.

"I'm so sorry that happened to Liam," he says, his voice steady and sincere. "And I'm sorry that you're feeling this way, that you think you're not good enough for me. But you are, you know. You're strong and kind, and I care about you so much."

I feel a lump form in my throat, tears pricking at the corners of my eyes. "But Paul, I failed him. I wasn't there when he needed me most."

He shakes his head, his thumb gently brushing away a stray tear. "You're human, and you can't be everywhere at once. What matters is that you care and that you are willing to learn and grow from this experience. And you are, aren't you?"

I nod, a small smile tugging at the corners of my mouth. "Yes, I am. I want to be better, for Liam, for you, for myself."

Paul leans in, pressing a soft kiss to my lips. "Then that's all that matters. We'll face this together, okay? You're not alone in this, and I'm not going anywhere."

He goes on, telling me how I should have reached out to him sooner.

He tells me that he's my boyfriend, and if I can't use him for emotional support, what good is he as a boyfriend?

I feel a wave of relief wash over me, a sense of comfort and security in his presence. "Thank you, Paul. For understanding, for being here for me."

He smiles, his eyes warm and affectionate. "Anytime, my love. Anytime at all."

That's new. I think as a shiver passes through me at his words.

Could that be what I've been feeling this whole time? Love?

As we leave the café, hand in hand, I know that our relationship is stronger for this, that we've weathered a storm and come out on the other side. And I'm ready to face whatever comes next, ready to be the partner Paul deserves, ready to be the alpha he needs.

I'm ready to forgive myself. I can't blame myself for that jackass's behavior. I'm just really upset that my baby brother had to go through something so traumatizing.

No one should have to go through that, but it hit a little closer to home when it happens to someone you know and love.

I want to castrate Jack, flay him, and hang him out to dry. I wanted to hurt him for even thinking about harming my brother.

I'm just happy that Paul was able to see past my shortcomings and that he still likes me for who I am in spite of them.

However, us getting past this storm couldn't have prepared me for what was coming next.