Chapter 72: "AFTER"

LINDY’S POV

I honestly don't wanna go to school today and I didn twant to go anywhere after Harry released his statement about me. I was still not okay and I was still torn between hoping and giving up even though I am on the brink of it all. Harry pointed out how he made me and my emotions look like a joke n front of the entire world and I can never forgive how he managed to do that.

Idecided to look okay even though I was dying inside. I didn’t really want people to know that I was hurt and I didn’t want students in school to make fun of me again because it would only hurt me even worst. I have been dealing with the bullying after Harry and I went out to public and how Martha is the only one keep me sane for the past days.

As I passed by the living room, I saw my dad watching TV and I instantly paused when he stares at the morning news about Harry.

"Harry Styles spotted once again with Paige Reifler last night! These two have been hanging much often than the usual and looked inseperable. What do you guys think? Have they finally rekindled back together? I think so, from the photo taken, Harry looks happy and--"

Dad changes the channel.

I don't like seeing my own father getting hurt because of me so I walked to the kitchen with this heavier heart than the usual. I couldn't take it all in and I know that sooner or later I will be better. It might not be now but I know I will be mving on from all this heartaches. He lied to me about Paige and I knew something was going on when that photo came out weeks ago. Now I get it Styles. So this is your game and this is how you play.

Don't cry Lindy. Don't cry. I scolded myself.

"Honey, are you okay?" mom asked me.

I tried to give her a smile.

"Oh baby come here." She said.

I crashed into my mother's arms and she gave me one of her warm hugs. I needed them, "I heard what Harry did." She whispered.

"That boy! He even had dinner with us and kiss you inside my home yet he did this to you! How could he lie about you?!" Dad exclaimed out loud while entering the kitchen.

"Dad I'm fine. I'll be okay in just a few days." I soudned reassuring while pulling myself away from my mom.

"But honey, he denied you to the world." mom said.

"I know.” I answered. “It doesnt matter. If he wants it this way then I'll play along with his dirty game. I'll be fine. I know I will."

"I'm not allowing you to talk to that man again, Lindy. Do you hear me?" Dad said firmly.

I just nodded.

When suddenly, we hear Avery stomping her feet loudly towards the kitchen floor. "What the hell. I can't get to my car! Ask them to leave this instant Lindy!" Avery exclaimed.

"What's wrong?" Mom asked.

"There are paparazzi and media everywhere right outside the house mom!" She blurted.

"What?!" I exclaimed.

"Now will you just go out there and tell them to leave? Tell them what they wanted to hear from you so I can go already!" Avery yelled at me.

I paused to take a look over the window and there were really paps, vans and media outside our house. What the hell are they all doing here? What do they want from me? To interview me? They do not have the right to be here because this is private property and how in hell were they able to know where I live? What do these people want from me? Harry already said what he had to say and I know I am not obliged to answer him because I am not a celebrity.

This isn't my world.

"I thought you loved being famous." I tell Avery.

"Yes. But I am late for school!"

"And I thought you hated going to school?" I said out loud again.

"I need to be in school early for the morning pep rally. Duh? Now go out there and tell them you've never dated Harry Styles." She spits.

"Avery!" Dad hissed.

"It's true anyways dad. Just hurry up, I don't wanna be late." Avery tells me as she pushes me out of the kitchen even though I tried pulling myself away.

I groaned in frustration as I marched my way to the front door confidently. "I'm not going to say anything." I tell her. “There is nothing lef to ay anyways!”

“Dont be a baby and get over it!” Avery rolls her eyes at me. “Harry hurt you right? Hurt him right back. Truce.”

Avery’s idea was not so bad after all. I know this seemed a little childish but Avery had a point. He hurt me so I need to hurt him back and I need to use this opportunity. As soon as I opened the front door, camera lights started flashing at me and microphones were extended closer to my face and my mouth. The flashes were blinding as the cameras were all voer my face. I walked through the sea of people while Avery was right behind me trying his best not to help me.

"Lindy what can you say about Harry Styles' comment about you? Is it true?"

"Lindy did you really use him?"

"Any message for Harry Styles?"

I didn't answer any questions thrown at me so I just bent my head down and covered my face with my hair becuse I wasn't ready yet and I don't know what to say. When we got into her car alive, they kept focusing the cameras at me, flashes were everywhere, we hurriedly drove to school, hoping they won't follow us.

"Oh it's alright my dear twin sister, you could've told him you used Harry. Tell them the truth now, you liar." Avery started.

She ticks me off and I hate every time she calls me dear twin sister.

"Shut up Avery." I said while wiping my tears. I don't even know why I was crying, maybe because of the questions thrown at me.

Why am I so weak?

"No, you shut up. You should stop dreaming about Harry Styles. You're nothing to him remember? So don't whine like a baby cos you're just a little liar."

"You know what?" I trailed off while sitting straight on my seat.

"You are really undeniably and obviously jealous of me." I spit.

She looked shock. "Excuse me?"

"You heard what I said. You're jealous of me to death but you just don't and can't admit it to yourself yet. You're jealous, mean, and really fake. What kind of person would steal another identity just for her own happiness?" I raged.

"Why in the world would I be jealous of an ugly cow like you?"

"Because you know I'm way better than you. So shut up! Just shut. Up. You insecure bitch! You don't know the truth! You don't know what I'm going through right now so shut the fuck up you asshole!" I yelled at her.

She stopped the car and turned to me. I slapped her instantly when I had the chance to. Oh damn it feels so freaking good to get back at her, of all the things she put me through even when we were little. Her slapped cheek blushed and my palm felt swollen.

Her jaws dropped. "Get out of my fucking car!! Now!!" Her voice raised while pointing to my door.

"You don't have to yell because I'm really getting off, you whore!" I yelled back at her while grabbing my stuff.

I stepped out of the car and shuts the door behind me. She drives off like a wind and left me.

Later that lunch, I was with Martha and I was so glad she was around me today. She made jokes and made me laugh but I was still trying to move on. At least I have someone to lean on.

"I am still so furious with what Harry did to you!" Martha exclaimed.

"I don't wanna talk about Harry anymore Martha." I answered.

"You and I know the truth and the rest of One Direction knows the truth! Why are they even lying about it? God, I'm so pissed."

"The truth has been said Martha. I was nothing to him."

She looked stern, "Has he even tried calling you?"

I paused for a moment because it hurt me so bad about the fact that even after the interview, he never tried to reach out to me and then I moved my head sideways. “I didn’t bother too.” I say,

"Is he really that heartless? How could such a good looking guy be this horrible?! I hate him now! I thought he was nice, kind, funny and such a sweetheart. But no. He's a liar!" She hissed.

"Have you waken up from your dream already, Lindy?" One guy teased me from the other table.

The rest of his friends were laughing together so loudly that made the other students turn their attention to us. Everyone kept bullying and I had to deak with this every single day of my life.

"Will you shut up?! You little ugly wacko!!" Martha yelled at them.

"Did you see how Harry said you were nothing to him?"

"You're the worst Lindy!!" Another one added.

"You deserve it!" And one agreed.

I stood up and faced them. "You know what.” I held my chin up. “You can say what the fuck you wanna say because I don't care. You bully me because that is what you are only good at! All of the people don't know the entire story. I don't wanna waste my time on lowlife people like you."

"Yeah, very well said. Let's go Lindy. They're all just jealous of you." Martha said.

She grabbed my books and our bags as we walked away and leaving them. It felt good to stand up and I know I have to stand back up when people are pushing me over again and again. I could still hear them teasing and laughing at me but I tried to fake a smile to Martha who is cheering me up.

This was much more painful than the one I felt from the pep rally. It really was like the death of me because I was alone in all this.

When school ended, the moment I stepped out of the building, a fleet of photographers and media were waiting right outside our school. There were so many of them which startled me. Shit, they followed me all the way here. Thank god Martha was with me. She holds me as we walked back to where we entered but one guy had noticed me and called out my name, they started taking photos of me in a nanosecond. The entire school was alarmed about it, but some students were waving to the camera.

Problem is, how can I leave now?

"There's no way out now Lindy. Shit. You're cornered." Martha whispers to me.

Seriously, even here at school, they're following me and I can’t even have my own privacy now all because of Harry and his damned interview. I grasped my books and walked to the gates confidently. Well, confident enough and I'd be damned if o get my words not right.

"I need to end this once and for all." I said to Martha as I pulled myself away from Martha's grip.

"Lindy!" She calls out to me. “Where are you going?”

I look back to her, “Getting back my privacy.”

When I was close enough, the paps started taking pictures of me and there was these reporters who waited for me to come out. They hurriedly rushed towards me while there were cameramen tryig to get every angle of me. This was unsual because I was completely surrounded with flashes of lights from the cameras which were blinding me because there were dozens of them that I couldn't count them all. They started running towards me and I feel Martha standing beside me too.

"Lindy! Look over this camera!"

"Over here Lindy!"

"Back off!!" Martha pushes them.

"Lindy tell us about your real relationship with Harry Styles. We only want the truth. Please." The reporter said while putting the microphone towards me.

I inhaled all the confidence I could get and exhaled deeply. I know what I was gonna answer now and I know I had to do this. Avery is right. Harry hurt me so I don’t need to just sit down and cry but I need to hurt him back too after saying those words in an interview and denying me to the entire world after stepping out with me on a date causing people to hate me after it. I pulled my head up and stared at Martha. Flickering sound of cameras filled my ears and I was nervous.

"Tell the whole world what you really feel." Martha holds me.

I sort of smiled at her and then faced the camera, "You don't want to know the truth." I say.

"We do. Please give out comments." The reporter plead.

"You want a narrative.” I answered.

I stared at everyone wo came all the way here just for this interview, “A story to tell so you can change things to scrutinize me. Well I am handling the bullying in school pretty much everyday and I am handling it pretty well because I have my best friend with me." I walked rapidly away from them pulling Martha with me, but they were still following me.

So I had to stop and take a few steps back away because I was crowded by massive of people and cameras. I couldn't even breathe in the air around anymore. Martha was the only person holding me and it felt like she gave me strength to face this.

“Okay, now back it up people!” Martha calls out to the media. “Back the fuck up and leave her alone!” She keeps on telling them.

It hurts even so much worse because he was the one who caused this massive lighting-like pain.

I pulled Martha away and the media and their entire crew especially the papa kept following us until we reached the road. Thank goodness we quickly hailed a cab and got away. Of course, I crashed onto Martha's arms and cried as she tries to tame me down.

I hate him.

I hate Harry Styles.

"Everything will be okay soon Lindy." Martha keeps whispering to my ears while she rubs my back.

That night, I kept rethinking about what Harry to the media and what I could have said to the media earlier but I cowarded. I couldn’t hurt Harry as much as he hurted me after denying me to the entire world. He made a fool out me and I wonder how he has been feeling after releasing that statement. He still havent called me or texted me or even trying to reach out to me.

I opened my gmail account and found that I have received an email a few hours ago. This was insensifyingly shocking because it came from thetonightshow@gmail. com and how a huge fan I am of that show and of course of Jimmy Fallon. Who does not love that guy and his show? But why actual hell are they emailing me?

I decided to open the email and thought of it as a scam.

From: thetonightshow@gmail. com

To: lindsaysuzanneswanepoel@gmail. com

Subject: We would love to have you on our show!

Hello Miss Lindy! We hope you are doing fine despite the things that is going on around.

You must have been wondering why we are reaching out to you in such trying time but we do really want to hear your side of the story regarding the release of Harry Styles’ statement. I know the entire world needs to hear your side too because it would be the only righteous thing to stop all these backlash and hate you have been receiving. People want to hear your side too. We are all wondering how unfair it must have been that the media only allowed his side of the story to come out with these adversity. Jimmy Fallon and the entire crew would love to have you on our show and hear your side of the story.

We are looking forward for your positive response to our offer.

Best Regards, Jimmy Fallon

Okay, that did not just happen!

I grabbed my phone and called up Martha. “Hey! What’s up boo?”

“Martha, I literally just received a message from The Tonight Show!” I exclaimed.

“What?!” Martha exclaims even louder. “Holy freaking nuts, no way!”

“He wants me on his show.”

“What?! Why?”

“He wants me to respond to Harry’s statement.”

“Get the fuck out!” Martha yelps. “What are you going to do?”

I bite my fingernail, “I think it would be right to.”

Martha sounded hesitant, “You’re going to do this to get back at Harry?”

“To clear things that has been going on against me. Harry started all this and I think it would be a great opportunity to say what I really want to say.” I paused. “What do you say?”

“You what Lindy? Go do what you want to do because I am always going to support you.”

I smiled at myself, “I’m accepting this interview.”

“Tell the world what you want to say and no hold backs anymore!” Martha whoops and it makes me laugh as she continues. “Harry really did hurt you when he denied you and you have every right to get back and get revenge.”

I smiled and felt persuaded to do this. “Thank you Martha.”

As soon as I finished my conversation with Martha, I responded to The Tonight Show’s email and told them that I was willing to have the interview. The next day, they were quick to respond and told me that they wanted me to be really on the show and would be the one to settle all flights from Canada to their studio and back home to Canada as soon as the interview finishes. It was a kind offer but I couldn’t miss school because exam week is just around the corner.

One way or another I had to get this off my chest.

I havent spent time on my cellphone and on my laptop or any of my socials because it would only hurt me when I see news about me. Harry hasn’t contacted me and I think he will never ever. I told myself that it was fine and that I didn’t need such kind of person that would emotionally hurt me this way. The pain and the anger were still there but I know it will never leave me even if I want to just forget everything and move on.

“Hi Lindy!” Jimmy Fallon was on the other side of the video and waving at me.

I waved and smiled. “Hi Jimmy!”

“Are you nervous for the interview?”

I nod, “A little bit. I have never been interviewed before.”

Jimmy smiled, “Don’t worry. Just say what you want to say and you will be fine.”

“Thank you.”

“Okay, just hang in there and wait for the crew’s cue okay?”

“Okay.”

“Lovely. Thanks for accepting.”

“No, I should thank you for doing this for me.”

“You’re absolutely welcome. Alright, I will see you in a few.”

I nod. “Thanks again.”

Jimmy leaves and I wait here inside my room where I got a little dressed up. Martha was inside my room and she was as nervous as me. She was the one who did my make up and did my hair to make me look more alive on the video. Martha has always been there supporting me and I could never get through all the bullying without her.

“You’ll be fine.” She mouths to me.

I smiled at her.

“We have a very special guest for the show tonight and we are so happy she was able to join us live tonight. All the way from Canada, let’s all welcome on the show, Miss Lindy Swanepoel!!”

I see the crew giving me a cue and I smiled as soon as I went on live while my heart was literally pounding on my chest. “Hi Lindy!” Jimmy greeted again.

“Hi Jimmy!”

“It’s so cute that our names rhymes.” He laughs and I can’t help but laugh nervously. “How are you feeling Lindy?”

“I feel pretty good thanks.”

“That’s wonderful. Anyways, thank you so much for letting us have you on our show.”

I smiled, “My pleasure.”