Chapter 5: All said and done

“But I’m back now and here for you. Please give me…us, another chance. I know you won’t regret it because what we had was genuine. I know Cindy will hurt, but she should understand how we feel about each other. Because what you have with her isn’t real, it was just a fling.”

Cindy had listened to Jill and how much she loved Jack and wanted him back. But when she heard Jill say she was a fling and didn't matter, Cindy hopped out of the car and responded to Jill's comment.

“Our love is genuine. I want to marry Jack and have a family with him. To share our lives, forever. It’s not like I broke up your relationship and I wasn’t cheating with him. He never even told me about you, and he didn’t even mention your name to me until after you came back. Jill, you had plenty of time to change your mind and return to Jack. You waited too long, now it's no longer his concern. At first, we were having sex and hanging out. But we had enough time to get to know each other. Soon, we started getting closer and spending more time together. I do love him, and I don’t want to give him up.”

Jill despised Cindy and everything she was saying. But her words echoed loudly in Jill’s head, how Jack never even mentioned her to Cindy or their relationship. Jill stared into Jack’s eyes as he got into the car, then she watched them drive off into the night. She fell to her knees, as the tears rolled down her cheeks. Jill’s heart felt empty and filled with sorrow. Jill sat in her car alone, not realizing the parking lot was empty. She sat there thinking about what happened, then she drove herself home. When Jill came into the house, her mother was still awake and waiting for her. Jill’s cheeks were wet from her tears, and she felt so much pain in her heart. Her mother stood up and Jill fell into her arms and began to sob. It all felt like a continuous bad dream.

“Mom, will you call in for me, please? I need time off; I don’t want to go back to work. This pain I feel is too much to bear, it's deep within my core. I pleaded with Jack, trying to make him remember the love we have. But still, he refused to come back to me and he was adamant about his decision to be with Cindy.”

“This happens to a lot of us when we’re young, but you’ll meet someone to take his place. one day. You are a beautiful young woman and you will meet plenty of suitors who will see the value in who you are.”

“Mom, I don’t want another man, I’m in love with Jack. He avoided my calls because he thought I wasn’t coming back home. I was ready to make a life with him and start a family. But because I left him here, he decided to move on with someone else. If he had answered his phone the first time I called him, we would still be together. Jack made it clear that he loved Cindy and she was now the one his heart desires. He confessed his love for her and promised to make her his wife. When we became lovers, I never saw myself without Jack. I wanted to be with him forever, which is why I decided to return to Thornsberry. Now I’m alone and feeling so much pain.”

Her mother held her tighter, lifting Jill's face to wipe away her tears.

"I’m lost without Jack in my life and I was just trying to let him know how I felt. He drove off with her, leaving me in the dark alone. He drove away as if I were a stranger to him. When I thought about everything, I cried all the way home. Mom, please tell me it's going to get better and everything will be all right. This pain I’m feeling, doesn’t seem like it’s going away.’’

“Of course, it gets better but not as fast as you want it to. There are going to be more days when you’ll be bothered by everything. You’ll get angry and want to do bad things, but you have to move on from it. I hate what happened between you and Jack. We heard the rumors around town before you came home. We thought it was just talk and we didn’t take it seriously. Then we saw him at the market with her one day, and that’s when we knew it was true. We didn’t make a big deal out of it, because we knew Jack loved you, and it seemed like a temporary situation because he was missing you. But we were more concerned about how you were going to feel. Hoping it was just a date or a fling, and nothing more. I didn’t want to alarm you, just in case we were wrong, but there wasn’t anything we could do. And you said he was avoiding your calls and refused to talk to you because he thought you were breaking up with him. But he should have fixed this situation or at least told you everything before you moved back home.”

“It’s OK…. it’s really okay. Jack just needs time to think about what I said to him tonight. He’ll come around and Cindy will see just how much Jack loves me. She’ll have no choice but to move on so that Jack and I can come together.”

“Jill? Honey, Jack is not going to change his mind. He decided to move on with his life when you left him in Thornsberry. I know you want to be with him and for y’all to build a life with each other. But Jack is never going to change his mind or make you, his wife. Jill, it’s over and you have to accept it no matter how hurtful it feels.”

“Mom, it was you and dad who told us to date and enjoy our lives. You both said we were much too young to marry and that we should wait. I took a chance to see if I wanted a different life, so I left Thornsberry. I needed time away, just long enough to figure it all out for myself. I tried to call him every day, to let him know I was coming back home to stay. But he never answered me or bothered to call me back and I left numerous messages. And everyone knows I only had love for Jack, there was never another man for me. Cindy was just a fling, but when he thought I was breaking up with him, he agreed to a relationship with her. Now I hear whispers and people shaking their heads because they knew before I did. People are saying: “what a shame”, or “oh how sad”, and “how terrible I must feel after what Jack put me through”. Mom, I don’t want to go back to work and I should have stayed in Summerville. I should have never returned to Thornsberry.”

Her mom put her arms around Jill, and hugged her tighter, rocking back and forth.

“It’ll get better over time dear, and you’re going to be okay. You have a beautiful soul; any man would be lucky to have you in his life. And the right one will already know exactly what to do and won’t keep you guessing or wondering if you’re good enough. And you'll have the family and life you always dreamed of, just not with Jack. The first love always hurts the worse but makes you stronger.”

The tears streamed down Jill’s face, and she could feel the pain in her heart breaking all over again. She retreated to her room still feeling sad and in denial of Jack leaving her for Cindy Von. Her thoughts were memories of her and Jack, how they used to be. All the talks about marriage and starting a family were now a memory. Jill started to resent returning to Thornsberry and wanted to leave. There’s nothing more for her to hope for or that she was interested in. She only had eyes for Jack and her heart yearned for him always. Now that her dreams had been shattered, there was nothing else to do and nothing more to say. Jill decided to pack her things and leave Thornsberry behind, but this time permanently. She was hurting, heartbroken, and feeling humiliated. She needed peace of mind. Jill stayed up late packing her things, and looking at past pictures of her and Jack. Then she saw the inscription in her yearbook from when Jack was promising their love would be everlasting.

“Maybe if I showed him these pictures of how we were. Then he would remember our love and want to start over with me.”

But Jill knew it was all over when Jack wished her the best and walked away with Cindy. There was no indication their relationship would be reconciled.