Chapter 25
I spent the rest of the afternoon playing Monopoly with my daughters. After we left Jennifer’s place, we’d gone to Chicken Republic to get a bowl of crispy drumsticks, French fries, and cans of soda. On a regular day, I never encourage junk food for my children, but these are peculiar times, and we all need something sweet to help us get through this rough patch. After this weekend, we’ll get back to eating healthy, but for now, let’s just eat our troubles away, literally.
Even though I am trying my best to focus on the game I’m playing with the girls, my mind keeps drifting back to Dominic, and I keep checking my phone to see if it’s going to ring or if a message notification will pop up with a text from him. Why hasn’t he called me back? Is he so busy that he can’t spare even a minute or two to call me and check on me and the girls? I know he is a very busy man, but nobody is that busy to not be able to spare even 30 seconds to send a text at least. Is he avoiding me? Why would he be avoiding me? And why the heck am I so bothered by his silence?
When my phone finally rings, I jump up so fast to grab it off the coffee table, startling the girls with my sudden movement.
“Sorry, I have to take this call,” I tell them with a sheepish grin. I walk hurriedly to the kitchen to answer the phone call with so much excitement, but my heart sinks in disappointment when I finally see the caller ID. It’s my mother calling.
“Hello Mama,” I answer the call in a lackluster tone. “How are you?”
“I should be asking you that, Uzezi,” says my mum, with a hint of displeasure. “You don’t ever call to check on us at all. Why? Have you become too busy to be curious about the well-being of your family? I thought that now that your ex-husband is finally out of the picture, you’d have time for the rest of us.”
Leave it to my mother to make you feel like a crappy person even at the oddest of times. If only she knew what my children and I have been through in the last couple of days.
“I’m sorry about that, Ma,” I apologize to her. “It wasn’t intentional. A lot has happened to me and my children in the last few days that I haven’t even shared with anyone.”
“What are you talking about?” She asks curiously.
With a deep sigh, I tell her about what Segun and his family had been up to and where my children and I are at right now emotionally.
“My goodness, Uzezi! All of that happened and you didn’t bother to tell us about it? If I hadn’t called you today, would you have mentioned that incident to me?”
“Mama, everything happened so fast. We have not fully recovered from the shock. I’m sorry I didn’t call to tell you and Papa about it as soon as everything happened. I felt so lost and afraid, I couldn’t think straight.”
“But really, come to think of it. Why were you running around with another man, barely three months after finalizing your divorce? Don’t you know that will create a bad reputation for you in society? Everyone would think that you left your husband just so that you can start sleeping around with other men.”
The accusation in my mother’s tone annoys me so much that I notice my temper rising to the surface. “What do you mean, Mama? Are you saying it was my fault that Segun and his family did what they did?”
“Well, you said it yourself that they came for the children after seeing pictures of you and a man circulating on the internet, so who else should we blame for triggering them into doing what they did?”
I can’t believe my ears. “Mama, are you taking their side?” I ask my mother incredulously. “Are you saying those people are justified in what they did?”
She sighs. “I’m not taking their side, and I am not saying that what they did was right, but you need to stop giving them an excuse to keep coming after you and your children like that.”
“That’s an unfair thing to say, Mama. There’s not even a shred of empathy in your response to everything that I’ve said.”
I hear my mother scoff derisively. “Oh, please, Uzezi. Stop being so dramatic. You are too sensitive. Even you know that hopping into a relationship with another man after a wrecked marriage will not earn you the respect of any decent person in society. Your focus should be on raising your daughters decently, instead of trying to turn yourself into a woman of easy virtue.”
That’s it. I’m done with this conversation! My mother and I have never been friends, and for the life of me, I don’t understand why. My mother is naturally very critical of everyone, but her criticisms become even sharper where I’m concerned. I still cannot fathom how my mildly mannered and ever pleasant father, has managed to remain married to a troll like my mum for nearly four decades. That level of tolerance needs to be studied as a course in universities.
“You know what, Mama? I honestly don’t care about what you, Segun and his family or anyone else for that matter, thinks about me or how I live my life. I am no longer married to Segun and that means I am free to date whomever I want. I know I can never earn your approval in this lifetime, so I won’t even try. On that note, I suggest you get used to this new Uzezi because I will no longer live for anybody’s approval but mine.”
My response must have struck my mother speechless because she remains silent after my lengthy rant. When she finally speaks, her tone is quiet and apologetic.
“To be honest, I wasn’t trying to condemn you as you think,” she says tentatively. “I was merely trying to explain to you that people may misconstrue your relationship with that man as something you may want to make a habit out of.”
“And I don’t care, Mama,” I reply stubbornly. “It is not my job to care about how people feel about how I choose to live my life. I know you mean well, Mama. But please, stop preaching to me about how to be a decent woman. I don’t want to be a decent woman, Mama. I want to be a happy woman.”
The phone call ends on a sober note, especially for my mother. I have never spoken to her in this manner before, but now I feel this is the best time to draw the line and stop trying to impress everyone because that’s impossible. I want to be intentional about how I live my life from now on, and speaking of intentional, I realize that I have an important phone call to make tonight. Instead of waiting endlessly for Dominic to call him, I will close the gap and do the calling instead.
Yes, I am attracted to him, and I have finally made up my mind to pursue my feelings for him and see where they lead.