Chapter 53: Chapter Fifty-Three

Vanessa POV

I was still staring at my phone, trying to process the fact that I'd just agreed to think about spending a weekend in Manhattan meeting Danny's almost-billionaire parents, when I

,heard the apartment door open.

"Bean?" I called out, surprised.

I wouldn't have believed it was her, if I didn't know that she was the only one with a key to this place. She'd been staying at her sorority sister's place for the past couple of week, and I'd started to think she'd moved out permanently.

"No, it's the ghost of roommates past," came her sarcastic reply from the living room.

I practically ran out of my bedroom, and there she was—Benedicta Darlington in the flesh, dropping her overnight bag on the floor and shrugging off her jacket.

She looked tired, with dark circles under her eyes that even concealer couldn't hide, but she was here in the flesh.

“Wow, my God” she huffed when I just kept staring

“I didn't know I looked that bad” she huffed walking to the center of the room

“That's not it, I thought I'd never see you again!" I said, pulling her into a hug.

Bean hugged me back, but it was half-hearted, lacking her usual enthusiasm.

"What, you couldn't survive a week without me? I'm touched."

I pulled back to look at her face.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Bean said automatically, moving past me toward the kitchen.

"Just need some coffee. Or wine. Or both."

"It's two in the afternoon," I pointed out.

"Your point?" Bean grabbed a mug from the cabinet and started the coffee maker, her movements sharp and agitated.

I leaned against the counter, watching her carefully.

This wasn't the Bean I knew—this wasn't the bright, bubbly girl who could find something positive in any situation. She was a brittle form of herself, like she might shatter if someone touched her wrong.

"What's wrong?" I asked gently.

"Nothing," Bean said, not looking at me.

"I'm fine. Everything's fine."

"Bean—"

"I said I'm fine!" she snapped, then immediately deflated.

"Sorry. I'm sorry, Nessa. I didn't mean to bite your head off."

"It's okay," I said.

"But you're clearly not fine. Come on, sit with me. Let it out."

Bean looked like she wanted to argue, but then her shoulders sagged and she nodded. We moved to the couch, and she curled up in the corner, pulling a throw pillow into her lap and hugging it like a shield.

"I just—" she started, then stopped.

"God, I don't even know where to begin."

"The beginning usually works," I said, echoing what I'd told Danny so many times.

Bean laughed, but it sounded hollow.

"The beginning. Okay. The beginning is that I've spent the last week at Madison's place, crying into pints of ice cream and watching rom-coms, going to clubs and trying to understand how I could have been so stupid."

"You weren't stupid," I said immediately.

"Yes, I was," Bean insisted.

"I was with Marco for two years, Nessa. Two years and the whole time, he was in love with someone else. I keep wondering how did I not see it?”  Her voice cracked.

"That he was using me as a consolation prize?"

My heart broke for her.

"Bean, that's not on you. That's on him. He's the one who lied. He's the one who stayed in a relationship he didn't want to be in. You didn't do anything wrong."

"Didn't I?" Bean asked, and there were tears in her eyes now.

"Maybe I was too clingy. Too demanding. Maybe if I'd been different, better, he would have actually loved me instead of—"

"Stop," I said firmly, grabbing her hands.

"Don't you dare blame yourself for his shitty behavior. Marco made his choices,he chose to lie to you for two years, you don't get to take that on—" I stopped myself before I said too much about what had happened at the party.

"He chose to be a terrible boyfriend and an even worse person. None of that is your fault."

Bean wiped at her eyes, smudging her mascara.

"I know that, logically. I do. But it doesn't stop it from hurting. It doesn't stop me from feeling like I wasted two years of my life on someone who never really wanted me."

"I'm so sorry," I said quietly.

"You deserve so much better than him."

"Everyone keeps saying that," Bean said with a bitter laugh.

"You, Madison, my other sorority sisters. Even my mom said it when I called her crying last week. 'You deserve better, Bean. You're too good for him, Bean.' But you know what? It doesn't feel that way.”

I didn't know what to say to that because she wasn't wrong—she had missed the signs but so had I. So had everyone except apparently Marco, who'd been carrying this secret torch for me while dating my best friend.

"For what it's worth," I said carefully,

"I had no idea. If I'd known how he felt, I would have said something. I would have told you."

"I know," Bean said, squeezing my hands.

"I know you would have. This isn't your fault either, Nessa. I don't blame you for any of this. This is all on Marco being a selfish asshole who thought the world revolved around what he wanted."

We sat there for a moment in silence, both of us processing everything that had happened over the past few weeks.

"Okay," Bean said finally, straightening up and wiping her face with the back of her hand.

"Enough about me and my disaster of a love life.” she muttered sitting up and I struggled not to grin.

“What's going on with you? And don't say 'nothing' because I can tell when you're hiding something." she drawled.

I hesitated, feeling guilty about being so happy when she was so clearly miserable.

"Are you sure you want to hear about my stuff? Because it can wait—"

"Nessa, I swear to God, if you don't tell me right now, I'm going to strangle you”

“ I'm tired of thinking of my shit so I'd rather listen to yours”

“Please, I need a distraction.” I mumbled softly.

"Okay," I said, taking a deep breath.

"So... Danny and I are together. Like, really together. Officially."

Bean's face broke into the first genuine smile I'd seen since she walked in.

"I knew it! I knew you two couldn't keep up the fake dating thing. There was too much chemistry between you too."

"Yeah," I said, unable to stop my own smile.

"It kind of just... happened. And Bean, I didn't know I could be this happy. Like, genuinely, stupidly, rom-com level happy.”

“ He makes me laugh, he supports my work, he's patient with all my anxieties, and he—" I stopped, feeling my cheeks heat up.

"He makes me feel like I'm the most important person in his world."

"That's amazing, Nessa," Bean said, and she sounded like she genuinely meant it despite her own heartbreak.

"You deserve this especially after all the hockey trauma, you deserve someone who treats you like you're precious."

"Thanks," I said quietly. Then, because I couldn't avoid it any longer, I added,

"There's more.” I said softly my fingers fidgeting and she paused

“ What else is there to have you so nervous” she asked sitting upright now

“Danny's parents invited me to dinner." I mumured.

“Oh”  she muttered stunned.