Chapter 160: Void

❀ Maeve ❀

My body functioned on autopilot.

Breathing, senses, movement.

Something kept me alive without my consent. But the alternative was too cowardly to even name.

The roaring fire burned tracks into my eyes, yet I could not look away.

If I stared hard enough, could I escape to a world without pain?

Numbness.

My fists clenched and unclenched.

Each time the burning wood caved, sparks floated in the smoke—tiny stars of fire.

The pack had solemnly gathered the dead. The brave who’d sacrificed their lives to hold evil at bay.

Alpha Mordane, my father, had been laid on the largest funeral pyre. Bastian had lit the torch, pressing it to the fuel-drenched wood.

Now, we stood side by side, watching them burn.

The silence was heavy, the moon brilliant in the rain clogged sky.

The scent of dew and green, churned by the rain, competed with the smell of our burning pack members.

Another pyre collapsed, the wood weak from burning. More stars of fire.

In the smoke, two forms danced and curved into each other.

I smiled.

Lyssa, the crimson wraith of Veilmoor, and Mordane, the Iron Wolf.

They’d found each other again, at last.

Then my eyes pricked. I’d never met her. And I’d only known him as my father for a couple of hours. How fitting.

But then I wondered—why would it be fitting?

I hadn’t done anything to deserve such punishment.

Lilith had traced to find me after the battle, her gaze bereft.

They hadn’t found Tammy.

I’d laughed when she told me, but she wouldn’t understand the irony.

Tammy had fought so hard to become a vampire. But because of me, her sire had died, causing her own death.

Then I comported myself, out of respect.

Because I wasn’t the only one who’d lost someone close.

Lilith had liked Tammy. She’d loved Nikolai.

Drusilla had lost her brother, though their relationship had been a mystery.

Bastian had lost Alpha Mordane.

The pack had lost sisters, sons, mothers, fathers, brothers, and daughters.

Grief hung heavy in the air like a shroud.

We stood until the last ember died. Until the sun rose and obscured the smoke.

No words were uttered, not even condolences.

Everyone buried their heads in their own pain, parting into the morning to live another day.

Up the fortress stairs, my footsteps echoed too loudly. It felt wrong. Too quiet.

I paused, squeezing the railing until pain flared in my palm.

A solid form crashed into me from behind, then arms caught my fall.

His scent enveloped me for the first time since I’d risen from death.

The chaos of the war and the smoke from the funerals had been distracting. I let my eyes slide closed, luxuriating in his musk of pine smoke and cocoa.

Thankfully, he held me without complaint. We stood there for a time, my back against his chest, my weight pressed into him.

After what felt like eons, Bastian spoke. His voice was a throaty rasp.

“Nikolai gave me words for you.”

Curiosity scalded my chest.

But I’d made a promise. I wouldn’t hurt the mate I had left by chasing the one I’d lost.

Drusilla had advised me to move on, and I would.

With difficulty, I said, “The only words I need are yours.”

He squeezed me slightly, his chin resting on my head.

Then he took my hand and led me to my chambers.

He stopped at the door, ushering me inside.

“Get comfortable. I’ll return to you soon.”

Suddenly, panic seized me.

I gripped his hand. “Where are you going?”

Don’t leave me. Not you too.

He cupped my face, eyes bleak but kind.

“I just need to make some rounds. Tighten security to ease their minds.”

“I’ll come with you,” I said, voice firm.

If any more threats should arise, I’d fight—

“No need, kitten.” He led me into the room. “You need to feed and rest. Be washed and dressed for bed by the time I return, and I’ll stay as long as you want.”

As long as I want?

“I never want to be parted from you.” My voice shook.

I could easily see him walk out that door and not come back. Who could tell if the unrest had truly settled?

“Trust me?”

I’d trusted Nikolai.

Then I noticed my claws digging into Bastian’s arm. I released him, eyes locked on the welling beads of blood.

“Do you want to feed?”

“No.” I sounded unsure even to myself.

I wrested my eyes from his hand to his face. Dark circles weighed his eyes. His smile was thin.

I shouldn’t make this harder for him.

“Okay. I’ll be waiting. Don’t stay long.” Or I’ll come find you.

He pressed his lips to my forehead, the warmth spreading like a balm.

When the doors closed behind him, I felt as lost as a buoy at sea.

I soaked in the tub for what felt like hours, scrubbing every inch of skin raw. At the vanity, I lost myself in my hair, combing until the locks fell like a silk curtain against my back.

Then I climbed into bed, waiting for my mate.

The fortress was quiet. The entire pack grounds were quiet.

Time blurred. My lids slid closed.

When I woke up, Bastian hadn’t returned. My ire mounted. He couldn’t keep such a simple promise?

As I swung my legs out of bed, the wrath hankered for his punishment.

The darkness was familiar, comfortable—like home. I let it rule.

I burst out into the fortress corridors, ready to unleash on any unlucky individual that couldn’t provide my mate.

All the way down to the grounds, the settlements, the stream. The greenhouse, the ceremony hall.

The training grounds.

Deep in the forest.

It was empty. I was alone.

I heard no one, scented nothing. Even the insects and rodents were gone. Just like that.

My chest tightened with panic.

“Bastian?!”

I spun in an unsteady circle.

“Mom? Nikolai?!”

The sky darkened, clouds rolling in.

I ran through the thick forest, mud splashing my feet. “Anyone?”

“Please! Don’t leave me alone!” My voice carried, returning as a distorted echo..

I looked down at my feet. The mud was blood.

“Noooo!”

Tree branches caught my hair and dress. They wrapped around me with thick, thorny arms, shaking.

Shaking.

“Maeve!”

My eyes snapped open.

I was in bed, sheets soaked in my sweat.

Bastian sat beside me, his arms everywhere, combing my hair, wiping my cheeks.

“You all left me,” I choked out, vision obscured by blood tears. “You said you wouldn’t leave. You left me!”

“Look at me. I’m here. I will never leave you. Never.”

I wrapped my arms around his torso in a crushing hold, wheezing into his chest.

He murmured promises, vows, and whatever else I didn’t catch.

Soon, my chest lightened, my breaths unobstructed.

When my eyes closed again, it was to the steady beat of his heart.