Chapter 59: Chapter LIX

Poppy almost chokes on her saliva as she looks at me, her mouth agape. “I beg your pardon?” she asks in a very dramatic voice, and if I wasn’t so pissed, I’d be laughing at her reaction.

“Exactly. She’s the woman I saw walking into his office yesterday that I told you about,” I explain, drinking the rest of the champagne in my glass. I wish the waiter were serving outside, too, so I could grab another one. I don’t want to go back inside and risk facing Spencer. Or anyone, for that matter. The last thing I need is my family asking me why I look like someone just pissed on my cereal.

“Shit,” she hisses, blinking aggressively at me. I know she’s trying to find the right words to say to me, not wanting to add fuel to the fire. “Judging by your reaction, you didn’t know about her, right?”

I snort, unable to answer her properly.

Before Poppy has the chance to say anything else, the sound of chattering and the loud music blasting on the speakers inside grows louder as someone opens the door. I bite my tongue to prevent myself from cursing when I see Chad heading toward us. My friend seems to notice the instant tension that rises between us as she takes a step back and whispers, “I’ll be inside if you want to talk. Or leave. Or both.”

I smile softly at her, trying to show my gratitude without really saying it. Poppy walks back inside, nodding slightly at Chad as she passes by him. They exchange a glance I don’t care to interpret right now.

“Hays, can we talk?” Chad asks, his voice low and cautious as he stops beside me.

“If you’re going to lie to me, save your breath,” I retort harshly.

“I didn’t lie to you. You never asked me anything. How was I supposed to know you weren’t aware of it?”

I turn to look at him, too astonished to form the right words. “I saw the look on your face when that woman came to talk to Spencer. You knew who she was, and you seemed very worried that she was getting close to me.”

“Of course I was. I know Kendal. She doesn’t play nice, and I feared she might want to cause a scene or something.” Chad is making excuses. His explanation does make sense, judging by how I could see Kendal’s true colors immediately, but it doesn’t help his case. I’m still angry. He’s just unlucky that he was there at the wrong moment. I don’t feel selfless enough not to throw some of the blame on him right now. “Come on, Hayden. It wasn’t my story to share. It’s Spencer’s past,” he argues.

“You didn’t seem to have a problem with that when I started seeing him again. You meddled in our lives just fine,” I spit.

“I was just trying to protect you both from hurting each other again.”

“Didn’t you think it would be nice to warn me that Spencer had a fucking ex-fiancée? Who looks like that?” I gesture to the door of the office, my hand shaking slightly. I hate that I’m out of control, but I’m glad it’s Chad on the other side receiving it and not Spencer. Even though I’m super mad at him for keeping this from me, I wouldn’t want to ruin his important day by causing a scene and spitting mean words at his face like this.

“She’s crazy, Hays. I’m not the one who should explain things to you, but don’t be hard on Spencer. I mean, it’s been years since they broke up, so…”

I bite my tongue again, swallowing hard so I don’t say anything else I’ll regret. I hate that Chad is being the voice of reason when all I want is to punch something--or someone—to vent my anger.

“Whatever, Chad. I don’t want to talk about it anymore,” I tell him. I wanted to come here to get some fresh air and maybe get my head in the right place, but for some stupid and immature reason, I can’t. I can’t stay here anymore. I can’t face Spencer. And I can’t pretend I’m okay, facing everyone and smiling at the guests when all I want is to be alone.

But I also can’t go now. It would make people talk. Not that I care, but again, this is an important moment for Spencer. If this was me when we were dating back in high school, I just know I’d have been home by now, too hot-headed to continue to be here. I wouldn’t have cared about him. I would have just been selfish and thought about myself. But I’m different now, or at least I want to believe I am.

Sure, I won’t pretend this didn’t happen tomorrow, but trying to solve things when I’m too angry right now isn’t helpful either. I know that.

“Fine. Are you coming back inside then?” Chad pries cautiously, afraid I’ll snap at him.

But I just inhale and exhale slowly, deciding what to do.

“I guess I should. Just give a few minutes, all right? I don’t want to fuck it up, so it’s better that I calm myself down first,” I explain, hoping he’ll leave me alone for a moment.

Chad nods, shoving his hands into his pants pockets, suddenly looking awkward. “Look, I’m really sorry, okay? I didn’t want to keep anything from you. You know that, right?”

His question makes me feel bad. I didn’t want to snap at him. He’s right, it wasn’t his story to tell. It’d have been nice to know it, but he’s not the one at fault here.

“It’s okay, Chad. I’m not mad at you. I was just…caught off guard. That’s all.”

“I get that. I’d be fucking pissed too. I don’t understand why Spencer didn’t tell you, but maybe he has a reason? You guys should just talk about it,” he suggests, studying my face.

I nod, not wanting to extend the conversation any longer. I’m suddenly feeling a terrible headache coming on, and this topic is only making it worse.

“I’ll be inside if you need me,” my brother tells me before heading back inside, finally leaving me alone with my own thoughts.

I stay on the sidewalk for a while, almost losing track of time. But when I hear people clapping and raising their voices as if they are getting ready for a toast, I take that as my cue to go back inside. I don’t feel like it, but I need to be beside Spencer for this moment.