Chapter 13

I try to go to the chapel expecting to see Brother Ven because I know chapel is his life, and he is always there even when it is not time for worship. I told Echo that I needed to meet Brother Ven to talk to him about the mission. I know he will understand me and help me because we are both God’s angels on different levels. I bought him the bananas and apples that I brought from the mini-market because I am trying to be nice so he would say yes to me. I hope I can bribe him with the bananas and apples. I parked my car near the balloon vendor who was standing under the mango tree waiting for someone to buy his balloons and I went inside the chapel. I looked around to see him, but he was not there. The chapel is clean and quiet. I walked further, and I saw him at the back of the chapel talking to a woman. They looked serious, and I walked to him, and the woman smiled at him and walked away before I went near him. I don’t know, but my feet and legs began shaking when I saw the playground at the back of the chapel. I haven’t been at the playground but it looks familiar to me. The sereneness of the place and the birds chirping makes me suddenly scared. I walked slowly to him because I felt dizzy and I felt like I couldn't breathe. Then another black and white memory suddenly flashes in my head. When he noticed me, a man suddenly approached him, so his attention went to the man. I gave the man a mean look. He is wearing a beige polo shirt and black slacks, and I guess his age is sixteen years older than me. He looks familiar to me. They paused from talking when they noticed me looking at the man, and Brother Ven looked at me.

“Yes, what can I do for you, Helena?” He asked when the man's eyes suddenly grew big when he heard Brother Ven mentioned my name.

“Are you okay?” He asked me again but I didn’t answer because I still feel a little dizzy.

“You look pale,” He said when he noticed my colour.

“I haven't had a good sleep these past few nights”, I answered, still looking at the man, trying to remember him because I felt like I already met him a long time ago.

“What is bothering you, Helena?” Brother Ven asked while looking at me. Looking at my dark eyebags and pale lips.

“It is not a good idea to talk about it right now”, I answered, and I was about to go when he introduced the man to me. His name is Mike, and he is a Brother too, like Ven.

“You’re Helena”, He said with a smile.

“Do I know you?” I asked him, still remembering who he is

“Maybe you can’t remember, but we met a long time ago”, He answered while I was still looking at him, trying to recall what he was saying.

“You were a kid back then when we first met, and I guess that is the last time. You are with your nanny,” He added, but I can’t remember him.

“I am sorry, but I can’t remember you,” I told him and looked at Brother Ven. I am pissed because of the wasted chance to talk to Brother Ven because of Brother Mike.

“I know because you were just a kid then,” He said.

“I think I have to go now,” I said and left the two of them together. I don’t know what happened to me a while ago, why I suddenly get dizzy seeing the playground and I don’t know why. I can’t remember Brother Mike either, even though he looks familiar to me. His face is telling me that there is something more about him, not just an ordinary preacher but I got pissed because of him. I went outside the chapel and saw the balloon vendor still standing with his balloons where I parked my car. He is still waiting for someone who will buy his balloons. I didn’t buy his balloon but I gave him the bananas and the apples inside the plastic that I bought supposedly for Brother Ven. The balloon vendor smiled at me when he saw what was inside.

“Thank you,” He said, but I didn’t mind him.

I went inside my car and drove away. I am pissed off, and I can’t handle myself now. I turned on the radio and played the bad girl song by Avril Lavigne ft. Marilyn Manson. That energizes me. When I saw the red car that I hated most, I became madder. What good timing? I drove fast, and I followed the red car. I follow it wherever it goes. I don’t know who is driving, but I am pissed off. I feel like all of my fuses in my sanity are disconnected because of what I remember about my nanny’s death that makes me awake for a week now, plus I haven’t talked to Brother Ven because of Mike. That is why I AM PISSED OFF RIGHT NOW!

Like a bullet, I go fast to my target, and I know that the driver already knows that I am following, so it goes fast, and I go fast until I see it stopped. The girl who I think was the one was driving the car. She went down and kept on looking back. I guess she is trying to find my car. I guess she already knows that I am chasing her. I stopped where she couldn't see my car. Her face was scared, and she crossed the street. She went to the police station on the other side of the road, and I knew that she would report that someone was chasing her, a black car but just a black car and didn’t have enough information. She doesn’t even know my plate number or who is driving the car. There’s a lot of black cars in the world. I know the police will write the report and tell her to be more careful next time, and that is it. The report is over.

“Nice try bi***”, I whispered, and I drove away. I went home, and I am still pissed off. I lit a cigarette from my pocket and started smoking to ease my tension.

“What happened?” Echo asked and he looked worried even though he would not say it. I knew I could sense it with his eyes.

“I haven’t talked to Brother Ven because of that; Mike and I saw the red car again that makes me so pissed”, I answered while still smoking.

“Mike? so you remember who he is now?” He asked

“Nah, I don’t know him” I finished my cigarette and put it in the ashtray. “What pissed me off is the red car”, I added. “I feel like I want to burn that car now”, I continued. Echo walked close to me and hugged and kissed me.

“Easy, Angel, we have time for that,” He said while still kissing me on my lips and down to my neck. I feel his warm kiss that tickles me. He touched my arms down to my legs, and he’s about to put my dress up to put his finger inside my panty when a picture flashes in my head in black and white, same with the one that flashes when I was at the chapel’s playground. The playground, me and Mike. I was sitting at the swing when he went near me and offered me a lollipop and a candy ball just to go with him. He told me that we would just play and it was a secret game. I am not allowed to tell my nanny, or else nanny Silva will get hurt and disappointed, and she will get mad at me for not listening to her because she told me to stay at the park and just sit in the swing while she is talking with Brother Ven about the chapel’s activity. I went with Mike because of the candy ball and lollipop. He uses it to lure me. He takes advantage of my innocence and he takes advantage of my trust in him. We sat at the bench where no one could see us, and he put his finger inside my skirt. He put his penis out too and let me touch it. I was only six years old when he abused me. I pushed Echo away because I couldn't take it. His kiss and touch make me recall what happened, which is why I never go back to the chapel with my nanny again. I always make excuses every time she asks me to go with her. I lied to her about why I should not go with her because I am scared of Brother Mike. HE IS EVIL!

“Are you okay?” He asked, looking at me. In his black eyes, I can see that he is worried. I broke down and started to cry and tell him everything that I recalled. Another bad memory that is coming back.

“I was only six years old that time”, I cried, and I tried to compose myself even though I already broke down.

“How could he?” I asked him while my whole body was shaking.

“He told me that nanny Silva would get mad and disappointed if I tell her about our secret game. He manipulated me.”

“You remember who he is now?” I didn’t answer, but I nodded. While still recalling the complete details. I don’t know how to start telling him but I tried.

“I was with nanny Silva that day after the worship. Then nanny told me not to leave the playground because she would talk to Brother Ven about some important matter when Mike approached me. Showing me the lollipop and the candy ball. I know it is my fault for not listening to my nanny, but he takes advantage of me. He takes advantage of my innocence.” I cried. Hoping Echo will understand me. The pain that I feel again is like a hot iron that burned me. I remember what he did to me and even it happened a long time ago. It is still fresh for me. Like it just happened yesterday and I will never forgive him.

Echo hugged me, and “I am sorry to hear that,” he said.

“It is not your fault, don’t say sorry”, I cried to him.

“So, what is your plan now?” He asked

“I don’t know,” I answered while crying. I take the bible out from my cabinet, which I took from nanny Silva’s room and open it to verse. Deuteronomy 31:6 and read it silently because I want to clear my mind from everything that is happening to me. The bible verse might help me clear my mind. I take a deep breath before reading it.

“Be strong and of good courage, fear not, nor be afraid of them: for the LORD your God, he it is that does go with you; he will not fail you, nor forsake you.” I looked up and closed the Bible. The verse is right; Fear not nor be afraid of them. What a beautiful verse? I closed my eyes and thought about the verse that I had read for a moment.

“Fear not nor be afraid of them”, I whispered, and now I have an idea and thanks to the bible that I took from my nanny Silva’s room inside her cabinet. Echo went close to me and said “That is right, do not fear to punish people who have done you wrong”, He said to me like a demon whispering to my ear again. I feel like I am being hypnotized.

He kissed me on my neck and “Punish him”, He suggested

“You’re not just an angel in a mission but also a punisher too” He holds my chin and makes me look at him. His eyes are tempting me too. Tempting me to obey him with his warm stare.

He wiped my tears, smiled at me, fixed my hair and whispered.

“Bring him here, and we will punish him”, He whispered; that made me feel excited, making me smile and agree with him.

“Let us rejoice in his pain and suffering, in your hand you have all the rights to punish him,” He said. He was right; my mission is to punish people like Mike, too, not just to take away their pains because Mike needs to be punished because of what he has done to me.