Chapter 111: He Stole My Heart, I Stole His Child

“Rian?” Max repeated the name, “Who is that?”

I could feel his jealousy flare for a moment, which made me smile a bit. For being so large and gruff, Max is really cute at times. I'll wait to tell him that later, since his reaction to being called cute is to prove how rude he can be. This talk is going to be too emotional for me and I want to say everything while I still have the courage to do so. I've never revealed that I have a son to anyone before, and I've never told my story. I just hope he doesn't think too badly of me after I tell him everything.

“Rian is my son,” I confessed, resisting the urge to close my eyes to avoid his judging gaze. When I look up at him, though, I see no judgment. I don’t even see pity like I would often see in the eyes of those living in my realm that were aware of my history and what caused me to become a disgraced princess.

No, Max is staring at me with that same steady gaze he always has, the same adoration and steadfastness reflecting back to me in his beautiful blue eyes that had been there since we met.

“Your son, huh? Wow. I thought you might have a child,” he grins, rubbing my cheek with his thumb. “Where is Rian now?”

My smile falters into a grimace. “With my brother, living the life of a fairy prince back in Alfheimr.”

“Hmm,” he grunts, not in an offensive way, like he is determining how to react. He’s simply letting me know he is actively thinking about the conversation. “How old is Rian?” he asks after a few seconds.

I smile sadly, “I’m not sure. I’m guessing about 8, but I can’t be too sure now. Not with the different ways time works between realms.”

Max’s arm’s tightened around me, and I’m sure he can feel my sadness. I miss my son. I miss his easy smile and carefree attitude. I miss how he could brighten up the darkest of circumstances, and help me to see the good in any situation. I know why my brother took him from me, and even though I selfishly want him with me, I’m grateful that my brother chose to protect him the best way he could, even if that meant taking him from me and casting me aside. I just need Max to understand why I don’t have my son with me like I do, so he doesn't think too badly of the fairy kingdom. As infuriating as it is to be denied my son, it's no one's fault but my own. My own selfish desires led me to this life. Having Max with me now makes everything seem a little less harsh, because all those events led to me being with him. I just pray he still wants me after this.

“To tell you why I was dishonored so, and why my son was taken from me, I feel like I should explain the events that led up to it.”

Max stared at me for a few seconds, gauging my emotions. He kisses my forehead, then leans back completely against the cushioned headboard, putting a bit of space between us and nodding for me to continue. No words. None are needed with Max. I’m grateful for the bit of space, because when he is so close, it makes me think too much about him and makes it hard to focus on much else.

“I love my realm,” I started by saying, “as I loved my kingdom and my family, but it never seemed like enough for me. The etiquette and mannerisms, as well as the strains and pressures of being a princess were not easy for me to accept. I wished for freedom of expression, and I wished to be able to be valued for my heart and not only how well I behaved to keep my family's honor. My brother and I were less stiff and refined than my father's other children, and I didn't understand why my brother was valued for showing such independence and strength, while I was often reprimanded for the same behavior.

“When I was a young girl, I started to think it strange that no one ever showed their true emotions. No one ever expressed their feelings, and etiquette and honor were valued more than individuality, at least with the princesses, since our kingdom was only inherited and ran by men,” I sighed, “I wanted more. I wanted more than to look pretty and act pretty. I wanted more than to be a consort or concubine to a neighboring kingdom, whose only purpose was to be a pretty ornament and have children along with the other emotionless women kept in a royal ruler’s harem. So, when my father announced my betrothal to the siren king, I was crushed.”

“Siren king?” Max asked, “Like, a mermaid?”

“Merman,” I smirked at him, “But yes. I was going to be sent to the merman king, to be one of his many wives. None of his previous wives had given him a son, so I felt great pressure to accomplish that duty from my father. I also had all the other anxieties that come with a forced marriage. I expressed my displeasure to my father, who was king, and my brother, who was just the crowned prince at the time.

“My brother tried to argue for my sake with our father, but it was already set and I could not back out of the marriage, no matter how much I didn’t want it. When I got to the siren kingdom, that was the first time that I was ever around others who regularly traveled between the realms. Royalty in my kingdom were not easily allowed to do that because of the dangers it could unleash for humans. The guards and knights of the sirens would all go to the human world, your world, and interact with humans, something I was always told not to do. My curiosity about the human world boiled over until one day, a few days before the wedding, a guard was speaking about heading to the human world in my presence, and I talked him into taking me with him.

“I didn’t realize it until much later, but the guard had been observing me, and knew that I didn’t want the marriage and that I was unsettled and bored with my life. As a fairy princess, my status was more than desirable in the human world. That's what made it dangerous. Vampires would desire my blood, witches would desire my magic, disgraced fae kind would desire my unbreakable connection to the realm they no longer had access to. I didn’t see that the guard was targeting me until it was too late and I had already left my world for this one with him.

“At first it was fun. I was thrown into a world that had everything I had always desired. I met many different species, partied, got lost in the thrill of animosity that I never had as a fairy princess before. Lucian, the siren guard that took me, would on occasion ask for favors of me, like fueling the magic needed for a witch coven’s seance, giving blood to vampires with addictions to the magic only a fairy’s blood can offer, and on occasion he would ask for me to use my teleportation to smuggle other beings back into our world. That was a major crime, so I often told him ‘no’, but Lucian had a way of convincing me that it wasn’t that horrible of a thing to do, reuniting a poor fae being with the world that can sustain a longer life for them. Being exiled to your world is viewed as a death sentence to some, since it shortens our life to that of a human's. I thought I was doing something good for my people as a princess thanks to Lucian's manipulation. I didn't realize how big of a crime it truly was until much later.

“Years passed by, and my time on Earth was a blur of meaningless pleasures and floating between realms with Lucian. I even met Antonio, the prick, on occasion, since that was very much his scene too at the time. It was centuries before Katherine when I first met him, and I can see positive changes in his personality from back then to now, but still nothing like the other vampires in the other areas of the world who have learned to live for their people and not themselves. Antonio is still a selfish prick. Imprinting Katherine is what changed him the most and drew him away from that sinful life. He once had a harem of sires and mistresses. He truly acted like his own God, but then, after Katherine, he started to treat her as his goddess. He did away with his harem and quit holding sex parties where he feasted on blood for weeks, sometimes months on end. His coven had no rogue vampires coming from the results of his partying ways. I really thought Katherine had changed him, but I can tell you more about that later, since Katherine came a few years, well, centuries, after I had Rian," I said, waving off my wayward thoughts of Antonio and getting back to my story. Max is rubbing my lower back soothingly while I get my thoughts together.

“As for me and Lucian,” I took a deep breath, nervous about telling Max this part. He is sitting quietly, listening to my story, not revealing any of his thoughts in his stoic expression. “Well, we began having a physical relationship soon after he brought me to your world. At first, for many years, it was just physical. The nights we didn’t end up in others’ beds, we were with each other. It was a blur for the most part, and I realize now that he kept it that way for me so I would stay in the stupor of the lifestyle we were living.

“When I started to miss my family and life, though, Lucian became more manipulative and controlling. When I voiced wanting to stay in the fairy realm, wanting to go back home to make amends with my family, that was when Lucian got angry with me for the first time. We fought, then over time I went into this numb state. I can see now that he was using his siren abilities on me, tampering with my overactive emotions and making me feel nothing for some time.

“When I finally was able to recognize what he was doing to me and I was able to fight off the haze, I discovered I was pregnant. Lucian had impregnated me to force me to stay with him.”

A growl shakes my body, coming from Max, and his previously passive face is now pissed. “Where is this fucker now?” his deep voice makes my hair stand on end because of the threat in it.

“Dead,” I reassured him, placing my hand against his chest. He takes my hand, gripping it firmly, kissing my wrist with his eyes closed, like he is trying to reign in his temper with the sparks in our bond. After a few seconds, when I feel he is calm once again, I add, “My brother killed him.”

“Your brother?”

I nod, “Yes. It took him some time to find me, but when he did, he killed the asshole and saved me and Rian from the cruelty I was being subjected to.”

Max scowls as he thinks, and I can feel his unease in the bond. “What cruelty, Thyra? What did he do to you?”

I grimaced. “Nothing I haven’t already done to myself. We stayed in the fairy realm up until Rian was born, and for most of the time after, hiding away in hidden camps and caves. He would force us into the human world at times, though, and I was made to do things that only a fairy of royal blood could do. The worst would be sleeping with witches or allowing vampires to drink from me. After some time, he couldn’t really force me to take an exiled fae back to our world any longer, not since Rian started thinking clearly and speaking freely, since it would be too hard to hide things from him. Rian was a cheerful boy, even in our circumstances, and even though Lucian treated me horribly, he still treated Rian well, as long as I cooperated with him. Rian liked to talk, though, and would often speak his mind. Since he was traveling with us, Lucian was always worried that he would reveal who we were and what we were doing if others were ever in Rian’s presence.

“The things he made me do behind closed doors were never seen by Rian, but Lucian could not hide smuggling beings into Alfheimr from his eyes. That was ultimately how he was caught, though. A disgraced pixie wanted to get back to the fairy realm and offered Lucian enough money to cause him to be willing to take the risk. Getting ready to travel, Rian asked the pixie man many questions. It was irritating the man, but he tried to keep that hidden since we were doing him a favor. I was told to keep my mouth shut around the pixie so he remained unaware of my true identity, but Rian let it slip, calling me Princess Thyra like he often heard Lucian mockingly call me.

“The Pixie became scared as we were trying to trap him into a prison or execution sentence and freaked out on the other side of the portal, making our magic flare defensively, which alerted the knights passing through the area. The pixie was captured, but we escaped. Just barely.

“After that, we remained on the run, with my brother knowing of my part in the crime of bringing the exiled fae back into our realm. Lucian tried to convince me to escape back into the human world and live there permanently, but I wanted to be found. I kept giving him excuses to stay. I knew that if he got me back to the human world at that point, I would never see the fairy realm again. He would have kept me hidden out of my brother’s reach for the rest of my life. That was no life for a child.”

“What happened to your father?” Max asked, “Wouldn’t he have been looking for you as well?”

I grimace, “My father had other daughters. He was angry with me, but I was replaceable as far as the marriage went. He thought I was just going through a rebellious phase and I would be back. He died before I could ever see him again. My brother, my only full sibling from the same mother as me, was the one to take the throne. Aengus, my brother, was always honorable in his duties, but he cared for me. We were close in our youth, and I think that is what drove him to find us and not write me off as a lost cause like many of the others in the fairy court wished to do.

“He found us in a cave on feral land between kingdoms. Alfeimer has plenty of untamed land, so it must not have been an easy feat. He found us, and personally beheaded Lucian right there after a knight took my son away. The siren king that Lucian betrayed wanted his head, so it was sent back to him, and my son and I were taken back to the fairy court under my brother’s care.

“I revealed everything to my brother, but because my crimes included smuggling the exiled fae back into Alfheimr, which affected all of our realm, not just my brother’s kingdom, I had to stand trial. I was found guilty of a number of charges, then faced exile myself. Worse than that, because I was admittedly a prostitute for my magic for so long, and because of the birth of Rian, who was taken from me and placed in my brother’s care, I was sterilized.”

Max growls thunderously. “They took your ability to have kids because you were fucking trafficked? How the hell is that your fault?”

I smiled sadly at him. “I am a fairy princess, Max. If I were to have a child with a human or a witch, it could result in a seer, and that is an act forbidden by our species now after the way witches were discovered using seers to siphon magic from our world. My brother had no choice if I was to be exiled. Because my crimes were against all of Alfheimr, it was a punishment placed on me by the entire realm, not just him. I believe that if the decision was just Aengus’s, he would not have taken my ability to be a mother.” I hope not, at least. "He may have given up on me, but he wasn't cruel."

Max grumbles deep in his chest, “That is still fucking cruel.” he pulls me tighter to his chest, caressing my arms and kissing the top of my head. “I’m sorry, Thyra. I’m sorry for all you have been through. Do you think you will be allowed to have your son with you ever again?”

I shook my head against his chest, trying to keep my tears at bay. “No. I think there was a chance, but I ruined that by how I helped Joseph.”

“What do you mean?” Max asked.

I let Max’s musky, woodsy scent calm me for a minute before I spoke. “After my exile, I met Joseph, Lucy’s husband, and he helped me to overcome my struggles, being a naive fairy thrust into the human world with no real knowledge of how the world worked. He helped me to learn basic human expectations of being a functioning member of society, like getting a job and acquiring money. He showed me how to live an honest life, so I wasn’t tempted to go back to selling my blood or my body to survive. He made it possible for me to live a good life, where I could survive as a regular human would.

“I was forever grateful to him, and would have done anything to help him, so when he asked me to help him to sacrifice himself to save Lucy, I didn’t hesitate. In my eagerness to help him, I used my abilities as a fairy princess to grant him as much power and magic as he needed. I didn’t think about the effects it could have on the fairy word. The curse is a powerful curse. It took a lot of magic from my brother’s kingdom to get the results we needed. Magic is a natural occurrence in my world, but because such a strong being was draining so much of it from Alfheimr, it had a few negative effects on the kingdom. My brother had to correct the imbalance for the people not to suffer, which caused his leniency towards me to be no more.

“When my exile was lifted, and I thought the moon goddess’s descendants were saved from the curse, I went back to my realm, only to find I was no longer welcomed in the courts. I was no longer allowed to hold the title of princess. Worst of all, I couldn’t see my son. My brother didn’t want my reckless, selfish actions to hurt my son, and he banned me from seeing him.

“I lived for two years in my realm as a regular fairy lived, but was not granted my reason for coming back. I could no longer hope to be a mother to my son.”

My throat is swelling thinking of my bright and cheerful little boy, who was always my light in the darkest of circumstances. I miss him. I miss his smiles, his laughter. I miss the way he would carelessly speak like I had always wished I could as a child. I miss the future I robbed myself of because I longed for something that I shouldn’t have.

I rub my face against Max’s chest, my tears breaking free and streaming down my nose onto his skin. His strong arms wrap around me and he gently rocks back and forth while holding me close, an action I'm sure he learned from taking care of his grandkids. I let my sobs overtake me, feeling safe enough to freely cry for the first time in my life.

“I miss him,” I cried out. “I miss my son.”

Max moans gently, holding me a bit tighter, letting me feel his love and soothing presence as I cry. No words are needed with him. I know his feelings of remorse as I feel them in the bond. I feel nothing but devotion and empathy. There is no judgment or resentment anywhere in him.

“I’m sorry I can’t give you children,” I cried, “I’m sorry you got stuck with a disgrace of a mate.”

“No, honey. No,” Max groans, gently gripping my face in his large hands, forcing me to look at him, “You, Thyra, may just be the strongest woman on the face of this planet. And you are mine. Don’t ever apologize for that. The only asshole who should be sorry is dead, and good fucking ridance. I have half a fucking mind to ask the goddess, or whoever else I would have to ask, maybe a deity with a fish head instead of a man’s or some shit like that, to bring the fucker back just so I could kill him again. Slow and painfully like he deserves. I’m so fucking lucky to have you, Thyra. Don't apologize for that,” he presses his lips to mine in a soft, sensual way. I sob, my body shaking slightly from his tender touch. I love him. I love this man so much.

Max chuckles deeply, “I love you too, honey. I really do, more than anything. Just don’t tell Aly that.”

I laughed breathlessly, “I didn’t mean to mind link that thought.”

“I’m glad you did,” he grins. “I like hearing it. I love you too, Thyra, and I’m glad you told me your story. I love you all the more for it.”

I smiled with fresh tears falling from my eyes, wrapping my arms around his neck and kissing him with as much love and passion as I could. He combs my hair back from my tear-soaked face, rocking back and forth until I’ve had my fill of him.

We stay like that for some time, Max wrapping me in his strong arms while we just enjoy each other’s soothing presence. I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders, and I feel so much closer to Max than before. I’m glad I told him. I’m so thankful that Rieka gave him to me.

“Hey, honey?” Max said after a long while.

“Hmm?”

“Didn’t your brother give you the information and materials you needed to help us save Bailey?”

“Yeah,” I leaned back to look at him.

“And I’m sure you needed his permission to take the flying glue sticks out of the fairy realm?”

I cocked my head to the side, wondering what he was getting at. “He did, but Nelly was already mine. I just needed his permission to borrow my father’s and Nelly's baby, and I needed his okay before I could take them out of Alfheimr.”

Max brushes his hand on the side of my face. “If your brother truly abandoned you or lost faith in you, I don’t think he would have done all that, honey. There was no reason other than you being his sister for him to help you help us or for him to grant you the use of the flying demons. I wouldn’t give up on a future with your son just yet, because I don’t think a brother would defend and protect his sister as adamantly as he did just to throw her to the wolves,” he grins, “No pun intended.”

I smiled weakly, “I’m not sure, Max.”

“Me neither, but don’t give up hope just yet. I bet Rian wants his mom just as much as you want him. Never give up on that hope, honey. Never.”