Chapter 133: Chapter 133: The Father and the Advisor

I consider her question for a few seconds. My heart’s in conflict with my brain.

“Uh, I honestly don’t know…” I begin answering her. “I feel like I want to return to the academy and finish my studies, but without Zadok—”

The words get stuck in my throat. I can’t bring myself to finish that thought.

There are still months before the end of the year, and even though I know he’ll graduate and leave school next year, I just can’t think of going back there without him now.

My plans are all scrambled inside my head.

My friends notice my sudden lack of words. Francesca comes to my side and pats me on the shoulder.

“It’s okay, girl. You don’t need to make a decision now,” she comforts me softly.

I nod, swallowing the lump in my throat. Hans and Gia are looking at me in silence, but their worried expressions tell me all I need to know. They are worried.

“How is he doing?” Gia asks gently.

I press my lips before gathering the courage to reply. “Apparently, they’ve done everything they could. It’s now up to him to wake up.”

“And he will,” Hans adds firmly.

I look at him, and the comfort in his familiar eyes is enough to boost my hope.

I smile softly at him and nod.

After my friends retreat to their own bedrooms—yes, the king ordered that each of them be given a guest room—I take a shower and lie on my bed.

I stare at the ceiling for what feels like forever before I decide I can’t sleep.

My mind keeps wandering to a few hallways downstairs, where Zadok is lying unconscious.

Without giving it much thought, I kick my sheets aside, throw on a robe over my linen pajamas, and tiptoe out of the room wearing nothing but socks.

I’m not forbidden to roam through the castle, but I don’t want to wake someone up and have them think I’m up to something when all I want to do is see my boyfriend.

Luckily, the place is empty. I don’t even see any guards around, which in a way feels odd to me.

I reach Zadok’s room, but before I grab the knob, the door bursts open, almost knocking me down in the process. I step backwards, my eyes widening as I stare at no one other than Tyrese Bronkhorst.

He’s leaving his son’s room with a serious expression on his face. His jawline is tense, his eyes dark, and his hair slightly disheveled. If I could bet, I’d say he’s been tugging at it for the past few minutes as a way to keep himself grounded.

“Miss Kildare,” he greets, his tone cold and distant.

I don’t know why, but I feel like I need to explain myself. “I-I’m sorry, sir. I just came to check on Zadok. I couldn’t sleep and—”

Tyrese shakes his head, his shoulders loosening up a little.

“It’s okay. I just came to check on him before heading to my night shift.”

I frown, wondering why he’d be on a night shift if the king is probably asleep. He’s supposed to be close to my grandfather at all times, so why would he be going on a night shift now?

However, even though my curiosity is getting the best of me, I push it back down and lock it somewhere inside me. I have no right to ask him anything related to his job.

So, instead, I decide to say something else that has been nagging me for a while.

“Sir?” I call, lowering my head and staring at my feet. “I’d like to apologize to you.”

“For what?” I can tell by his tone that he’s surprised. I don’t think he saw this coming.

I never really had a conversation with him like this, if ever, so I imagine he might be confused.

“I put your son in danger,” I rush to explain. “None of this would’ve happened if I didn’t decide to go after the Shades. I tried telling him not to come, but he didn’t accept it. I—”

“Miss Kildare, none of this is your fault,” he interrupts me. “If anything, we should all be thankful to you. You sacrificed yourself for the entire kingdom, and this is no small feat. You’re a true leader, whether you believe it or not. Few people would’ve had that courage.”

His words make me snap my head at him.

There’s nothing in his face that makes me believe he’s saying this only to make me feel good. He has no reason to, anyway. We’re not friends or anything.

In fact, I thought he didn’t even like me.

Tyrese takes a deep breath, tugging at his hair once more, and it’s like I’m seeing Zadok in front of me for a second. They don’t look alike, but I can spot a few mannerisms that are almost identical.

“After his mother died, my boy was always sulking, always on his own. I know part of it is my fault because I didn’t deal with it the best way possible,” he carries on. “I pushed him too hard, but that’s how I learned from my father. I didn’t know how to be different. His mother, though, was completely different. She was kind, sweet, gentle. Everything I’m not.”

I nod, understanding where he’s coming from. It’s easy to judge his rough exterior, but I can see the pain behind his eyes for not being a better father to Zadok and probably Frederick too.

“After you came into his life, I began to see that spark in my son’s eyes for the first time in years. I could see my old boy again. If anything, I should thank you,” Tyrese states, his green eyes fixed on me. “Because of you, my boy is strong enough to fight for what he wants. He’s learned to fight for love, and as a soldier, I can tell you, that’s the biggest thing you could ever want to get into a fight for. I could never ask him not to go after you.”

I blink away the tears again, looking away so he doesn’t see how his words have touched a deep spot in my soul.

Even with all of this, I still feel guilty. I don’t think I’ll ever stop feeling that.

“He’s stuck to that bed because of me,” I point out, as if he doesn’t already know.

A glimpse of sadness crosses his eyes before he presses his lips, forcing himself to remain steady.

“My boy is strong. Most importantly, he’s stubborn. He won’t be defeated that easily, trust me.”

I feel like he’s also trying to convince himself. I wish I had something to say to comfort him instead.

Tyrese’s shoulders tense up when a guard shows up at the end of the hallway.

His posture changes entirely, as if he’s expecting something to happen at any time.

I crease my brows, watching as they both exchange looks in silence.

There’s something going on here for sure.

“Is everything okay?” I ask, knowing he probably won’t tell me.

Zadok’s father turns to me, back to being the king’s advisor.