Chapter 125 Chapter 125: The Last Addition to the Plan

Chapter 125 Chapter 125: The Last Addition to the Plan

I open my mouth to try and start another conversation with Zadok, but he barely acknowledges me before heading for the bathroom.

He takes so long in the shower that I end up falling asleep before he returns.

When I wake up the next day, he’s no longer in the cabin.

Amser arrives early to get me to practice, saying I need to be prepared, regardless of what the king decides. If he agrees with using me as bait, I need to be ready to face the Shades.

We train for hours, barely stopping to grab some food before returning.

I’m exhausted when I get to bed, so I find no time to talk to Zadok. Besides, he only shows up late at night, when he needs to change shifts with Amser.

I can’t help but notice he’s avoiding me. At any other time in the past, he’d insist on staying close, even if it meant he had nothing useful to do other than watch me practice.

Right now, it’s obvious he doesn’t want to be near me.

“Did Zadok say something to you?” I ask one day when Amser is sacking the newly embedded weapons. After training the entire morning, we decided to work on a few more blades just in case.

She looks at me over her shoulder before closing the bag. “Not really. It’s pretty obvious he’s conflicted, so I didn’t want to press.”

“Do you think he’ll be mad at me forever? I can’t go to war without talking to him.”

This thought has been consuming me for the past few nights. And even though I hate it, I can’t push it aside, no matter what.

Truth is, I might die.

And it kills me to have Zadok pushing me away while we have so little time to spend together.

Amser sighs, straightening up and coming toward me.

“Listen, I’m not the best person to talk to you about relationships. If your mother were here, she’d laugh at me even trying,” she begins, and the mention of my mom in such a mundane conversation makes me smile. “But that guy loves you. Anyone who sees the way he looks at you can tell he’d do anything for you. He’s just scared. And no one can blame him.”

I swallow the lump in my throat, staring at my feet, letting guilt settle in the pit of my stomach.

“I know,” I reply softly. “But this is the right thing to do. That’s what my mother did, wasn’t it? I doubt my father liked that idea any more than Zadok does, but I have to do it.”

Amser nods sharply, and the smile that spreads on her face carries so much that it’s hard for me to point it all out. She looks proud at me, but at the same time, I can spot the regret for not being there for my mom when she could’ve been.

“Zhalle would be super proud of you,” she tells me firmly.

My heart shrinks in my chest, and my vision blurs with tears. I sniff them away, joining Amser to help her with the weapons.

Later that night, I receive a message from one of the guards, telling me to get ready because we’re leaving before the sun rises. He hands me a manila folder filled with confidential documents.

I take it inside and sit on the couch—the entire plan for the mission is in it.

I spend hours going through it carefully, reading it over and over again until I know it by heart. At some point, Amser says goodbye, telling me she’ll see me later and that I should take as much rest as possible.

I only mumble in response. One, because I’m too focused on the papers, and two, because there’s no point arguing about this. How could I ever get any rest when I’m about to go on the battle of my life?

My hands are shaking by the time I finish reading the files.

The king has put together teams with his best soldiers to go to the Forbidden Zones with me. The technicality of it all is too confusing for my brain.

All I know is that they are taking me to the seashore, where I will have access to the water and am expected to do what I do best.

I take a shower and prepare to go to bed. But the cabin suddenly feels too empty and lonely.

It’s the first time I’m here by myself.

Zadok never left me alone before. Even mad and not speaking to me, he’d still come back to be with me during the night.

My eyelids are getting heavy when I hear a faint noise coming from the door. I jolt up, sitting on the bed with my heart slamming against my chest.

Zadok shows up in the doorway, looking freshly out of the shower, wearing his usual, comfortable black outfit. He’s carrying a duffel bag with him, and the moment his eyes cross mine, he drops it on the floor and rushes toward the bed.

His arms wrap around me, pulling me flush against his hard chest. I can barely breathe, but I don’t care. This hug was the only thing I needed right now.

Zadok doesn’t say anything, just holds me as if his life depends on it.

“I thought you weren’t coming back,” I whisper, my voice muffled and shaky.

I feel him shaking his head, his muscles twitching around me. “I’d never leave you alone. I got caught up in a meeting in the palace, that’s why I’m late.”

“You were mad at me,” I point out, pulling away to look at him.

His dark eyes take me in, and he caresses my cheeks with his thumbs.

“I wasn’t mad at you, Hettie. I’m just fucking scared to lose you. But I know you can do this.” He smiles at me before leaning forward and kissing me softly on the lips. “Besides, we’re doing this together. I won’t let anyone hurt you.”

It takes me a whole minute to comprehend his words.

And when I do, my blood freezes in my veins.

“What do you mean?” I frown, dreading to hear his answer.

“I’m coming with you,” he explains with a shrug. “I just went through the mission plan with the army.”

No, no, no, no.

“This wasn’t part of the plan,” I murmur.

Zadok was not supposed to come with us. He hasn’t even graduated. He’s not a professional soldier yet. How can the king agree with him going too?

“Desperate times call for desperate measures,” Zadok says as if this is supposed to mean anything. “You seriously thought I would let you go by yourself?”

“I won’t be by myself,” I argue, but my voice comes out weak.

“Still, I would never stay behind without knowing how you are.” His tone makes it all sound so obvious.

It never occurred to me he’d want to go, but how come it didn’t?

I should know better. I know Zadok too well by now.

He’d never let me go without him.

How could I not have considered this?

What do I do now?