Chapter 189: One Step Toward the Light

The gentle breeze, the lush green trees, and the chirping of birds seemed to faithfully welcome my every arrival. They greeted me with the most beautiful harmony that sounded so sweet to my ears.

I ran cheerfully toward higher ground. My eyes closed, letting myself be carried away by the peaceful feeling that soothed my soul. Stretching out both arms, I inhaled as much air as I could. The corners of my lips instantly lifted when the fresh air filled my lungs.

“You always seem happy whenever I take you here.” His voice broke the silence that had lasted for the past few minutes. “Is the air really that different from the city?”

I turned to him with a smile. “Not only that, but I feel calm here. It feels like all the burdens on my shoulders disappear with the wind.”

“Don’t you feel calm when you’re with me?” He stared at me intently without a smile.

Suddenly, I felt nervous and tried to find the right excuse. “That’s not what I mean, Kenn. You always make me feel comfortable, it’s just that ... the atmosphere here feels more peaceful. It feels like being at home.”

I turned around and pointed at the scenery around us. “Look over there, everything looks so perfect from here.”

He was still looking at me, yet remained silent. “Perfect because of the place, or because I’m beside you?” he asked flatly.

My heart pounded fast when I heard his question, which always made me feel awkward.

“Of course, both,” I answered quickly, which was immediately met with a restrained smile from Kenn.

I immediately shifted my gaze forward, looking at the vast stretch of rice fields that were beginning to turn yellow.

Yes, I was on this hill again. Of course, with Kenn, my boyfriend. Thinking about that status made me unconsciously smile to myself.

“Why? Is there something funny?”

I was startled. Kenn must have noticed the change in my expression.

“What?” I asked, pretending not to understand. “I’m just enjoying the view, don’t pay so much attention to me.”

As I was still standing beside him, suddenly Kenn pulled my body closer, right in front of him.

I gasped in surprise. “Kenn, what are you doing? You startled me!”

“Why are you smiling to yourself? Possessed?” Kenn asked as he wrapped his arm around my waist.

“Yes, I’m possessed by a forest spirit,” I replied carelessly. “Be careful, I might bite you in a moment.”

“Oh, I see. In that case, I won’t let you go so the spirit won’t run away.”

“What did you say?” I widened my eyes. “Take this!” I hit his chest several times while pretending to be annoyed. “Stop teasing me, Kenn! You’re so annoying!”

Kenn laughed, a laugh that sounded so free and unrestrained.

I stared at that laughter for quite a while. Since we started dating, I had felt a big change in Kenn. He was no longer as closed off and indifferent as before. Although his sharp tongue had not completely disappeared, at least now it was much better. He had a warm side that he rarely showed to anyone. A very sweet romantic side, and I really loved it.

“Kenn,” I called softly afterward. “May I talk about something serious?”

He lowered his gaze, waiting for me to continue.

“For two months, Kevan has kept avoiding me. He hasn’t even replied to a single one of my messages.”

“We’ve also been dating for two months. Isn’t that much more important for us to talk about right now?” he asked gently.

I nodded while trying to force a smile. I realized Kenn was trying to change the subject. This wasn’t the first time I had brought up Kevan’s change in attitude, but many times already. Maybe Kenn just wanted to protect me from sinking into sadness. I understood, but there were some things that I felt shouldn’t have ended like this. Still, I myself wasn’t sure what to say if I actually met Kevan.

“I just feel that he shouldn’t keep avoiding me. We’re both hurt. He’s not wrong in this either.”

“I understand how you feel, Frel. It’s true, you’re both hurt and no one is at fault in this situation. But remember, everyone deals with wounds differently. For Kevan, maybe avoiding you is the only way he knows right now to keep from hurting you or himself even more.”

Kenn looked at my face gently, his eyes shining warmly.

“He just needs time to rearrange his thoughts. When he’s calmer later, I’m sure he’ll realize that you’re still his sister, regardless of whatever happened in the past,” Kenn said in a low, very serious voice, yet it still felt like an embrace.

Without breaking eye contact, Kenn brushed my cheek with the back of his hand in a soothing motion.

“You are the new reality that has just changed his entire life. Give him time to breathe in the middle of all these problems, like we’re breathing on this hill right now. When the storm subsides, he will definitely come to see you.”

I felt calmer hearing Kenn’s words, which did not judge anyone. Instead, he looked at this situation from the most sincere point of view.

I closed my eyes for a moment, absorbing the cool yet soothing touch of the back of his hand on my cheek. The scent of damp soil and the freshness of the lush leaves around us seemed to flow into my chest, slowly driving away the tightness that had been pressing on me.

“Thank you, Kenn,” I whispered softly, almost swallowed by the roar of the hill wind.

Kenn did not immediately release his hand. Instead, he tugged at the corner of his lips, forming a faint smile filled with empathy. His gaze remained locked on mine, as if making sure that the burden on my shoulders had truly been lifted, even if only a little.

"Never feel alone again, Frel," he continued in a softer voice than before. "This problem is indeed vast, as vast as the stretch of rice fields beneath us. But no matter how far the eye can see, there is always a boundary at the far end. The same goes for Kevan’s escape. He will reach his limit, and when that happens, he will realize that avoiding it is not the answer."

I nodded slowly, beginning to gather the courage to look straight ahead again. For the first time in a long while, I felt like I could breathe properly.

“By the way, I want to try, Kenn. I can’t keep running away from reality.”

Kenn’s brow furrowed. “Try what?"

“It starts with this letter from Mom.”

From the change in his body language, I knew Kenn was surprised.

“Are you sure you’re ready?” He looked at me with concern.

I took a deep breath and then nodded firmly. “No matter how long I delay it, the truth will remain the truth, Kenn. I think I’m ready now. Whatever it contains, I have to know.”

Kenn smiled faintly. “Read it inside. You need some space for yourself. I’ll wait for you here. I’m not going anywhere.”

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