Chapter 32

“Don’t be a fool,” Val says. “You’d throw away everything to spite me?”

“To spite you?” I ask. “No, to get out from under you.”

“I was going to tell your manager I take responsibility for the dog incident. But now, you can take the hit yourself. Let your score bottom out and work reserves forever. I went out on a limb for you.”

The plane drops forward slightly. Our initial descent. Val glances at the flight path monitor, then the oven. We still have work to do. We begin breakfast preparations, and within a few moments the oven is on, food inside, and an aroma of bacon and eggs wafting through the galley.

I line the service cart with fresh linens and tiny glass salt and pepper shakers. Val’s hands work nimbly, exchanging dishes from fridge to stove, before handing them over to me for the cart.

“Seems we find ourselves in a new arena,” she says. “A good time to pause and remember what haute-culture means. You’re allowing personal feelings to cloud your judgment.”

I choose my words wisely. “That’s just it. I don’t want to ignore my feelings no more. Maybe I’m sick of no-strings sex, ever think of that?” I hold up a hand. “Before you say anything to try and convince me I’m wrong, just listen. Choosing my own prospects was one thing, but you turned it into something else. That doesn’t make me feel in charge of myself—it makes me feel submissive—to you, to superficial ratings from strangers who try to sum up my entire existence with the click of a few buttons. Call it whatever pretty name you want, but it’s cheating the system, or else you’d be open with the company about FC. Guess I’m not like you, after all. I don’t ever wanna be.”

Val appears to be listening, but her expression hasn’t changed. Her hazel eyes remain fixed on me, her mitted hands serving plates into mine. I place piping hot food dishes on the cart.

“That brings us to a stalemate, right?” I ask. “You delete my recording, I’ll delete yours, and I invoke my own Exit Strategy. I’ll keep the first rule forever, if you’ll get rid of the recording and forget you ever knew me. I want to get on with my life.”

Val’s lips part as if to speak. Instead, she tilts her head and says, “We have to get the food out before it’s cold. We’ll revisit this later.”

* * *

Val and I remain civil with one another throughout the remainder of the service. When we take our jump-seats during final descent, I do my best to stay positive. She’s got to know I have her. But her stiff body language and cold silence brings back the crick in my neck.

Not just any stress crick. The kind that’s full of guilt, because despite whatever travesties led me here, I’ve managed to stoop to her level.

Is this who I am?

The plane touches down with a screech of wheels on tarmac.

Val keeps her focus ahead on the exit door. “You didn’t learn anything. I have other members to think about. We can’t simply destroy our collateral—you know too much. Your exit can only be at the collective agreement of the others.”

“Agreement?” I snap. “I thought you were the leader who calls the shots.”

“You made a commitment to secrecy,” she says calmly. “Without collateral, there’s no way to ensure you’ll keep it.”

“I didn’t commit, you entrapped me. I never would’ve agreed to being recorded.”

“None of the others have a problem with this, why do you? It’s always been unanimous. For protection.”

Unanimous before you turned into a power-wielding villain.

“Last I checked,” I reply, “unanimous means everyone involved. I’m involved, and I don’t agree. You never gave me, or anyone else, a choice.”

“Loyalty is what’s at stake here,” Val goes on matter of factly. “The Exit Strategy was designed in order to give problem members the boot, not for personal resignations. We told you that when you initiated.”

“Your rules are arbitrary so you can have the highest-ranking team. You break them all the time.”

Val glances the other way. “The only solution is to include the others at risk and let them decide the best exit for you. And that is only because you have me at an impasse.”

“You’re the one at risk. You’re on video.”

“If I go down, everyone is going down with me.” She fixes her gaze back on me. “All those careers tanked and it will be all your fault.”

“You can’t force me to stay in,” I mutter under my breath.

“I can’t promise how the others will feel about your little shenanigan today.” She heaves a tense sigh. “However, if all agree, and we’re able to design an Exit Strategy for you, then we can let bygones be bygones and delete all collateral—mine and yours—in their presence.” She pauses. “Do you concur?”

I let out a sigh of my own. Thank God. Progress in any form is still progress.

The plane rolls to a stop and the chimes ring.

“I have to say,” Val says, unfastening her seatbelt, “I’m sorely disappointed in you.”

Oh, please.

“I wouldn’t have coached you for my team if I’d have realized your insecurities had such a hold on you.” Her tone is hollow.

I rise from my seat ignoring her comments. I’m afraid if I speak, I’ll lose it. I still need her to follow through with our agreement so we can be done with each other forever.

In a sudden turn, Val leans in over my head. “Try anything, and I’ll be at your manager’s office so quickly with that recording, you’ll wish you never knew my name.”

My jaw drops a little, but I quickly close it.

“Don’t forget,” she continues, “I’m now in contact with an eye-witness who can corroborate everything on your digital confession. So glad I reached out to Miss Eggleston. Brilliant of me, if I do say so myself.”

“I’ve got something too, Val. Let’s not forget.”

“Whatever it is you have on that video isn’t nearly as incriminating as having an entire team testify on the lack of integrity of your character.”

“I doubt that. Everything about you is phony,” I say right to her face. “You try to control everyone around you, because control is the one thing you don’t have of your own life.”

Why did it take me so long to see it? I could kick myself.

“Silly Zanne, it’s not about control,” Val’s voice becomes silky sweet. “It’s about loyalty. You think you know me so well, but you know nothing. I’d have defended you till the very end—that’s what I do for my own. That’s what my team will do for me, I have no doubt. Too bad for you, because now you’re on your own.”

I’m not falling for her song and dance again.

“You went out of your way ‘cause you wanted to profit off me,” I say. “It’s always been about you.”

Val clicks her teeth. “I got you where you are today. You owe me your undying appreciation.”

Whatever. Same manipulation, different day. I should’ve told Pam everything from the very beginning. She never would’ve let me get this involved.

Val’s glare grows poisonous with accusation. “You’re not ready for the real world. You’re too busy thinking like a little small-town girl.”

Despite my constricting throat, I hold her stare. “I have a right to change my mind when something ain’t right for me. What kind of advanced culture doesn’t support that?”

Val waves a hand like I’m not worth it, just before stepping toward the exit to wave goodbye to the passengers. And I can’t get out of here fast enough.