Chapter Seven

It was late by the time she woke, and her mother was already tidying the kitchen. She grabbed a bowl of cereal and parked herself at the breakfast bar.

“You were late last night,” her mother said.

“Mmmmm,” Tabitha mumbled through a mouthful.

“Did you enjoy the party?”

“Absolutely, Mom. I’m enjoying everything about the SES.”

“But…”

“No buts, Mom. I’m going to learn how to use the chainsaws next week.”

“Jaclyn rang.”

“Really? She made it clear she no longer wanted to be friends because of the Facebook thing. Don’t know why she bothered.”

Her mother laid down the dishcloth and looked at her. “But you could have been great friends, you seemed to have such a lot in common.”

“That’s just it, Mom—we have. It just hurt so much when she wouldn’t believe me about Facebook. And now, no one knows what to say to the girl who tried to kill herself, including Jaclyn. Everyone else is too…I don’t know…scared, embarrassed. Who knows?” Tabitha shrugged.

“Well, you could try to patch things up…”

“Maybe, Mom, I’ll see. For now I need positive, supportive friends and I’ve found that elsewhere.”

“But you shouldn’t burn bridges, Tabitha.”

She smiled at her mother’s frown. “Look, Mom, I know I’ve got a long way to go. I still haven’t gone back to college or faced Amelia, but you know what? After these last few weeks, I feel different. Stronger. Yes, I tried to kill myself, but I didn’t,” she said softly as she approached her mom.

Her mom had tears in her eyes as Tabitha hugged her.

“I’m sorry I hurt you so much, and I will regret that all my life, but now I have a second chance and I’m going to make the most of it. Please don’t cry.”

Her mother hugged her back with a fierceness born of pain, anguish, love and hope. “I am so glad you have a second chance, my dear. I love you so much. I don’t think I could have coped if you had succeeded in your attempt.”

“I didn’t and now we have to move on. Maybe I’ll think about Jaclyn, okay?”

“But, Tabitha, it’s almost as hard coping seeing you struggle every day with your life, that girl and her abuse, and not being able to protect you.”

“You can’t protect me. I must learn to protect myself. I have to find it in me to stand up to her. I’m going back to college after the holidays.”

“Are you sure?”

“No matter how scared I am, I must.”

* * * *

Despite the enjoyment of the intervening weeks, the morning she had dreaded finally came. She felt tense, restless and scared. Her stomach rebelled when she tried to put food into it. Her mother watched her with a tight, frozen expression of worry that deepened the wrinkles just beginning to form around her mouth and in the corners of her eyes.

“I’ll be all right, Mom. Please don’t stress.”

“Are you sure, love?”

Tabitha shook her head. “I have to do this, Mom. I want my life back, and the only way I can do that is to face her down and win. I promise I won’t try to harm myself again. I really promise.”

Her mother grabbed her in a tight hug. “I love you so much—we love you, your dad and I, and we would do anything to protect you, but I know you’re right. Only you can stand up to that monstrous child. If you’re not brave enough, we will understand, just please don’t try to kill yourself again, I couldn’t bear to go through all that again.”

“I promise you won’t have to. No matter how hard it gets, I don’t want to die.”

Despite her show of bravado and internal determination to go back to college and complete her course, she felt sick inside. Everyone knew she had tried to kill herself and failed. It was humiliating. She rehearsed scenarios in her head, how to respond and ways to answer questions. It wasn’t just Amelia, it was everyone.

Alex arrived to pick her up and now there was no turning back. She sat hunched in the front seat all the way.

When he had parked the car, he turned to her. “You sure about this, Tabitha? It’s not too late to pike, you know.”

She shook her head. “No, Alex, I have to do this.”

He grinned. “Okay, let’s do it.”

He held her hand all the way to class and Tabitha savored the warm, tight grip and the strength she could draw from it.

They were the first to arrive. She sat beside him, tense and nervous. She was cold. An inner frozen paralysis, sparked by her fear of the unknown. Her greatest concern was how Amelia would react to her return.

“Hey, you’re back. Great stuff, Tabitha. You’re looking good,” Leo said as he entered the room.

“Thanks, Leo. It’s good to be back—well, maybe. We’ll see.”

“She’d better not start,” Leo grumbled.

“No, Leo, this is something I have to manage myself.”

He nodded. He understood too.

“Are you okay?” Alex whispered.

“I’m terrified,” she muttered and gripped his hand, hard.

He squeezed back.

The door crashed again and Amelia, Dawn and Petra barged into the room.

Amelia brushed past Tabitha’s chair. “Back from the dead, I see. Couldn’t even do that properly, could you?” she taunted.

Tabitha flinched at the contempt in her tone, but refused to respond. She opened her textbook and waited for the lecture to start, seething inside at Amelia’s snipe. This nasty piece of work obviously didn’t feel any remorse or guilt that she had been the cause of Tabitha’s suicide attempt. Tabitha struggled to push it aside because it dug deep, with sharp claws, tearing her to shreds inside. It was also obvious that nothing had changed.

Alex turned then to the three girls. “Shut up, Eckerton. Haven’t you done enough already?”

Amelia just poked her tongue out at him and laughed.

“Try to ignore it, Tabitha,” he whispered in her ear.

Tabitha shuffled her things on the desk. “I’m trying,” she muttered.

After class, Amelia waited at the top of the steps. Tabitha cringed inside even though she had Alex for company.

“What’s that smell? Oh yes, it’s fishbait. Such a blight on the world.” Amelia’s voice carried across the hallway.

Her heart was thumping so hard she thought it would jump out of her chest and her stomach clenched into painfully tight strips of barbed wire. She was trembling, but determined to stand up to Amelia for the first time in her life. Tabitha steeled herself and looked straight at her tormentor. “Enough already, Amelia,” she said quietly and calmly.

“Awww, the cockle speaks. Well, Tubby Tabby, it’s never enough. You’re just taking up space—fat, dumb trailer trash. What did you come back for?”

“So you think I’m fat and dumb and trailer trash? Big deal.” Tabitha parroted Amelia’s words to her face, calmly, before she turned on her heel and started down the steps.

“Ahhh, finally you get it, fishbait. Finally!” Amelia shouted.

“Whatever, Amelia,” Tabitha muttered loudly, and waved a dismissive hand in the air and kept going, one measured step at time. She was shaking.

Alex took her arm and she was grateful for the comfort. Everything was silent on the landing. No more insults came her way, and she didn’t hear footsteps on the stairs behind them.

“You don’t really believe that, do you, Tabitha, really? You don’t have to agree with her,” Alex muttered as he pulled her around to face him when they reached the bottom of the flight.

Tabitha took one look at Alex’s expression and giggles bubbled up. “No, silly. It was just a technique I learned from a friend. It’s called fogging. I parrot whatever she says about me to her face and it’s supposed to take the power out of her insults.”

“And did it?” Alex asked.

Tabitha thought about it for a moment then shook her head. “I don’t know. Her words still stung, but she did shut up, and I sort of feel—I don’t know—like I’ve finally risen above her taunts. Actually, it feels okay to have answered her back.”

“Well then, that’s okay,” Alex responded as he took her hand in his and proceeded to walk her to the bus stop even though it was out of his way to the car park. He waited until the bus was in sight. He gave her a lingering kiss as it pulled up. “Here’s your bus. I’ll see you Thursday, and are we on for some bowling on Friday night?”

“I’d like that,” she said as she stepped up into the bus.

Her knees barely held her upright as she walked slowly to the back of the bus. She sank into the seat, every inch of her trembling. She took a couple of deep breaths and clutched the edge of the seat with a tight grip. Waves of nausea washed over her, but at the same time, she felt the tiny nugget of courage that had been born inside her when she joined the SES spark and begin to grow. She’d done it. Really done it. Of course she knew it wasn’t an end to the matter because the words had still sliced deeply, for she didn’t have the strength to completely refute them as lies yet.

* * * *

The weather was foul on Thursday, and Tabitha was late for class because the bus had been held up by a four-car pileup. The wind snatched at her coat and hair as she struggled the short distance from the bus stop to the college. She left her coat outside the classroom because it was saturated and slipped into her seat beside Alex, trying not to wet him with the water still dripping from her hair and bag.

She heard Amelia snicker at the rear of the classroom. “Wet like fish bait, stinks like fish bait.”

Alex turned and glared at her.

Amelia held her nose and waved her hand as if fending off a bad smell.

“Ignore it, Alex,” Tabitha whispered.

“Talkative lot today, aren’t we? How about a bit of shhh,” Kayne said as he dropped his wet briefcase on the desk. He started the lecture immediately.

Twice the lights flickered in the classroom, and thunder repeatedly drowned out Kayne’s words, but it was the screech of Tabitha’s pager that finally silenced Kayne. Everyone turned to look at her as she pulled it out and read the message.

“Sorry, Kayne, can I leave early? I’m needed for an emergency.”

“Sure. Have you got the details for the new assignment?”

“Yes,” Tabitha answered, even as she packed her bag.

Alex sat up straight in his seat and grinned at her. “Go, Tabitha,” he said loudly as he softly punched her upper arm. “Be careful, though.”

She nodded as she hastily finished stuffing her materials into her backpack. As she left the room, she heard subtle snickers behind her, but for the first time they didn’t matter to her. She was on a mission.

By the time her bus rounded the last corner, her pager had gone off four more times. They needed all the crew they could get. The slashing wind and rain had caused upheaval everywhere—flooding, overflowing gutters, leaking roofs and trees down. She grabbed her mother’s car keys, yelled, “See you later,” and took off out of the door.

The unit was alive with activity. One truck had already gone out, the other was pulled up ready to go and the four-wheel drive with a trailer attached was waiting in the yard. The crew room was crowded and five large men, Isabella and Tabitha juggled around one another to encase themselves in orange overalls, boots, helmets, gloves and rain jackets in the shortest time possible.

As they emerged, PJ issued orders. “Isaac, Isabella, Tabitha and Tim on five forty-four. Here’s the job detail. Radio in when you’re almost finished. We have another five jobs on the list already. Annie, Phillip and I will head out in the troops and get a couple of small jobs done. Imogen has come in to manage the radio and ops.”

It was only six but an ethereal gloom hung over everything, making it seem much later. The wind shook the truck and rain and hailstones slashed the windscreen as the wipers struggled to keep it clear. The first job was quite close. An elderly lady had water lapping at her front door from where it had overflowed the neighbor’s gutter and washed down her driveway. They managed to build a good, strong levy around her veranda by digging trenches and using sandbags they had filled earlier to divert most of the flow down either side of her little unit.

It was icy cold. The wind seemed to slip right through Tabitha’s rain jacket and the coarse material of her overalls. Her feet felt like lumps of ice in the stiffness of her boots, which were now covered in red clay mud. Rain dribbled down her face and off the end of her nose, but the crisis had been averted and the lady was tearfully grateful. Despite her physical discomfort, Tabitha felt warm inside. The radio crackled as they drove off and Tabitha wrote down the instructions for the next job.

This time a tree had crashed through the front window of a house, showering the occupants with glass and branches. Water was streaming in through the broken window. The mother had received several cuts to the shoulders and face as she had leaned over her children to protect them and was just leaving in an ambulance when they pulled up. The grandmother had arrived and was trying to calm the three young children about their mother and the tree in the house. Fortunately she took them off in her car to her house before the crew started to work.

Tim and Isabella pulled out chainsaws and fired them up. Tim pointed out to Tabitha where she should work dragging branches away as Isabella cut them. He also warned her again of the danger areas and to wear her safety glasses. The rain continued to pelt down, but after a very short time, Tabitha no longer felt the cold. Perspiration beaded her forehead and fogged up her safety glasses, but she continued to drag branch after branch away from the cutting zone and stacked them in piles in the middle of the lawn. With the sudden ceasing of the chainsaw’s roars, the pressure in her ears dissipated. It was silent, except for the weather. Tabitha looked up. Isabella and Tim were both refueling the chainsaws while Isaac was gearing up with chaps over his overalls.

Isabella looked in her direction as she finished the refueling. “It’s you and me now, Tabitha. I’m too short to reach the other branches, so Isaac is taking over. When they get down to those two big forks, we need to dig out the large tarpaulin and ropes so we can cover the window, but before we close it completely, we’ll try to remove as much tree from inside as we can. Makes it easier for the householder.”

They worked on. Every muscle in her body was screaming for mercy and she had found some she hadn’t even known she had. With the last of the tree removed, they erected the tarp. It took all four of them to get it in place as the swirling wind whipped it back and forth. Hail rattled against it and especially strong gusts dragged the ropes around out of reach, but finally it was secure. They added a couple of battens over the top to keep the storm out of the house until the householder could get the damage repaired.

Tabitha had no idea what time it was. There was no moonlight, and as they crossed town, they passed through two whole suburbs that were shrouded in total blackness. They pulled up outside McDonald’s and Tim and Isabella scuttled inside to get burgers, fries and drinks. They scarfed them down in the truck. Everyone was starving, and just as they cleaned up the last of the fries, the radio crackled.

New instructions came through and they were underway again. They worked through the night—small jobs and big jobs—clearing fallen trees, sandbagging flooded areas and patching leaking roofs. The last job was replacing tiles on a house roof after a mini tornado had ripped through the street. Tabitha followed Tim as he replaced the tiles down one side of the roof. Her job was to make it waterproof by squeezing silicon in the gaps. Isaac and Isabella worked down the other side of the high hip roof until all that was left was a small hole. They all wore harnesses, but it was still nerve-wracking with the wind ripping at their clothes and snatching at their helmets. Finally a small tarp was secured over the remaining hole and they climbed down off the roof and replaced the ladders and equipment in the truck. It was five a.m. and Tabitha was so weary she struggled to climb into the truck. She was wet through and feeling icy cold now that she had stopped moving. The radio crackled. They were being called back to headquarters—there were four fresh crew members to take over. With the storm easing a little, the jobs would slow to a trickle and they would finally be able to catch up.

Annie, Jesse and Phillip from the other crew had just finished stripping out of their overalls and hanging them in the dryer. Like Tabitha, their civvies underneath were as wet as the overalls.

“Here, Tabitha, have this. It’s a spare one I keep in my locker. At least it will keep the top part of you warm while you drive home,” Annie shouted as she threw a sweatshirt across the crew room.

“Thanks, Annie. As long as it’s a spare.”

“Of course, silly. I’m not that generous, you know.” Annie laughed as she pulled on another daggy, oversize sweatshirt over her water-logged clothes.

Tabitha couldn’t help smiling. She suspected that Annie was that generous—and more.

“Come on, Pipi, time to go home to a hot shower and a warm bed,” Jesse said as he hustled them all out of the crew room just in time for Paul, Squib, David and Toby to enter. Tabitha had only met these four guys briefly before at training, but they grinned a greeting.

“Good job, you guys. Hope you did all the hard ones,” Squib joked.

“Oh, we did, Squibby, and most of the easy ones too—just in case you lot of slackers weren’t up to it. Enjoy your warm beds, did you?”

The four men guffawed at Jesse’s joking swipe at their capabilities.

“Don’t you worry, little Jesse James, we can match you any day,” Paul crowed as he pulled up his overalls. Then his face smoothed into a serious expression. “So, any problems with the equipment we should know about?” he asked as he did up the studs on his overalls.

“Nope. We serviced the chainsaws and refueled them. The truck is fueled, ready to go. You’ll need a couple of tarps or a roll of black plastic though because we used them all.”

“Okay. Catch you later, guys,” Paul said.

Tabitha still shivered as she crawled into her warm bed. Every muscle ached with strain and tiredness, but she was content. What she and the crew had done tonight amazed her. While she had limited skills, she had been able to contribute, and she remained in awe of the others and how they handled everything from communicating with the client, chainsaws, knots, huge tarps and swaying branches that threatened to swipe your head off as they were buffeted by the wind. Nobody had complained about the conditions—the cold, the wet, the dark or the hard work. In time, she knew she would be just as good as them.

* * * *

When Tabitha stepped eagerly into the classroom on Thursday, it was empty, except for Amelia sitting on her desk. Apprehension crawled along her skin. She felt cornered. Instinctively she went to retreat, then stopped. No. I’m not going to run away. I will stand my ground. Gosh, I wish I had a chainsaw in my hand right now, I’d cut that damn desk right out from under her. The mental vision warmed her. She stood just inside the door and stared at her bully.

“So, did you have fun playing the hero then, Tubby Tabby?”

Tabitha looked at this person sitting on her desk—in her space. A smoldering lump of anger flared into fiery flames.

“I don’t play at being a hero, Amelia. I go out there and work my butt off to help those who need it. Now, please get off my desk,” she snapped.

“Oh, how nice and polite. ‘Please get off my desk’.” Amelia echoed Tabitha’s request and smirked. “Why should I?” she asked.

“Well, I tell you what. Don’t. I don’t want to sit there anymore, anyway,” Tabitha said, quietly, angry at herself because she was trembling as she bent down to pick up her bag.

Amelia made no effort to move. Inside, Tabitha was fighting a turbulent mixture of anger and fear. Damn this woman. She turned, took three steps and plonked herself down in the desk one row behind and pulled out her things. Amelia remained sitting on the desk. She pinned Tabitha with a scornful stare. Tabitha lifted her gaze and stared back at her nemesis. She could feel Amelia’s gaze drilling into her, willing her to crumble, to look away or show signs of weakness. Tabitha took a deep, deep slow breath and held Amelia’s look with a steady sizzling stare of her own. She felt sick with apprehension. Who knew what Amelia would do? She’d been physical before. Their last brawl had left Tabitha with a black eye, a sprained wrist and bruised ribs. But she was determined not to back down. Bugger the fear, she could do this.

The door clattered open and Alex, Leo and Dawn pushed through. Amelia broke her death stare to look at the newcomers, then she flicked Tabitha one more searing look, slid off the desk and walked to the back of the room to take her seat beside Dawn.

Alex leaned close to Tabitha as he slipped in beside her. “What was all that about? You could have cut the air with a knife.”

Tabitha sort of hiccupped as she fought down a slightly hysterical chuckle. “Oh, nothing much. Just the worm sort of turned. Just a bit.”

“Good on you, Kitty Kat.”

“Oh, I’m sure there will be repercussions,” she said.

She didn’t have to wait long. Less than ten minutes into the tutorial, a ball of something wet and sticky landed in her hair. Tabitha reached up and tried to brush it away, but it wouldn’t move. She heard snickers from the back of the room. She ignored them.

Another ball of muck smacked into the back of her head. She ignored it. More snickers. She decided enough was enough. Ignoring Kayne, she suddenly swung around to face them.

She said very quietly and calmly, “For God’s sake, children, enough already. Spitballs, really? I would have thought you grew out of that behavior in kindergarten.” Then she turned back to the lecture.

She didn’t know if Kayne had heard her or realized what was going on because he just continued with the presentation.

Another missile hit her and one went flying past her and landed with a small splat on the projector. It hissed as the moisture steamed on the hot metal.

The lecturer frowned first at Tabitha, then glared at the three in the back row. “Yes, perhaps they should have. Out, you three. You can come back after the break.”

“What? You can’t do that,” Amelia shouted.

“I can and I have. You’re disrupting the tutorial and others want to learn, even if you don’t.” Kayne’s response was quiet but firm.

Alex gave her a small nudge in the leg and Tabitha struggled to control her giggles. Score one for her. The rest of the tutorial was peaceful because the expelled three did not return after the break.

Tabitha fully expected them to be waiting for her between the room and the bus as she slipped out early to go to an extra shift at the vet clinic, but there was no sign of them. Her pager screeched as she arrived at work. She looked at the message on the screen.

Crew wanted at 10:00 hours Saturday for a PR photo shoot. Female members, in particular. Advise if attending.

As she turned the pager off, Tabitha smiled. She didn’t know what would be required, but it should be fun. Before she began work, she messaged Louise, Isabella and Annie and they all replied that they would be attending. Louise offered to reply on behalf of all four.

* * * *

Alex pulled her into his embrace as soon as the front door had closed. He kissed her lingeringly, his mouth exploring hers and trailing a hot path from her mouth to her jaw and down her neck. She kissed him back, leaning against him. Her knees felt wobbly and her breath jerked unsteadily. Alex’s breath puffed in little hisses as he eased her away from him. She looked up into his eyes, reading signals of passion and desire that matched her own.

Part of her wanted to go further, to discover what drove the warm hum inside, but her more practical side knew she was not ready to take that step. She hoped Alex understood.

He flicked his car keys into the air and caught them. “You know I’m going to wipe the floor with you tonight, Kitty Kat.”

She grinned, put her hand on his chest and gently pushed him toward the door. “Don’t count your chickens…”

* * * *

The bowling alley was busy, the music loud and the disco lights flashing. They had fun. Tabitha was a lousy bowler so Alex stood behind her, trying to guide her swing. Most often the ball ended up in the gutter, and one time they both almost followed the ball down the lane. They were laughing so much they had to sit to calm down.

It was then that Tabitha saw Jaclyn. She was with her family. Tabitha’s amusement died as they looked at each other for a long moment before Tabitha looked away. She wasn’t sure what to do. Jaclyn had hurt her, but it wasn’t really her fault. Things had gotten pretty nasty.

“Alex, can you get me a drink please, before we start again? I’m going to speak to Jaclyn, she’s just over there.”

Alex nodded and disappeared. Tabitha made her way slowly to Jaclyn’s lane. She waited for her to bowl then beckoned her over. As she approached, Tabitha took her arm and led her to the ladies’.

It was quiet inside. Jaclyn pulled away from her and stood there in silence.

“Jaclyn, I just wanted to say I’m sorry for not speaking to you when you called. I just couldn’t.”

Jaclyn tried to smile. “It’s all right, Tabitha. I’m to blame for running out on you after the Facebook stuff. I know it wasn’t your fault, but I was just so embarrassed.” Her face flushed pink.

“I know, Jaclyn, it was awful.”

Tabitha went to turn away, having said what she intended. Jaclyn touched her arm.

“I’m sorry, Tabitha, for letting you down. I have…I have never come across that sort of thing before… Bullying, I mean. After that day at college, I was scared she would start on me. I still like you, Tabitha.”

“Well, maybe we can have a coffee in the café one day, Jaclyn,” Tabitha said before she turned and walked out of the ladies’ and back to the bowling lanes.

Alex was waiting with cold drinks. “So how’d it go?” he asked.

Tabitha shrugged. “Okay. A bit sad really. I liked Jaclyn, I feel better having talked to her, but I am not sure I can be her friend.”

“Good. Now let’s play. I’m gonna trounce you, Kitty Kat.”

By the time they finished, it was neck and neck and Alex admitted it was a draw.

As he dropped her off, he kissed her softly. “Have fun tomorrow.”

* * * *

Saturday was bright and sunny. They were all issued new, crisp, bright orange overalls.

“This is so exciting. These photos are going to be used for PR throughout the whole organization. They’re encouraging women to get involved too,” Louise crowed as she finished doing up her beautifully polished boots.

It looked like chaos outside with a photographer, the PR manager, PJ and about six crew all milling around. The girls stood quietly in a little huddle, trying to stay out of the way as Eddie and his crew set up equipment to allow a stretcher to be lowered from the roof of the shed and for abseiling to be done. It was tricky and only those with considerable experience were allowed to participate.

“Why are you young women hiding away there? Get into a climbing harness, whoever is experienced,” the PR manager ordered.

“Just Isabella and Annie for abseiling. Thanks, Margery. They’re the only two qualified.”

Margery made some notes on her clipboard. “Fine, Peter, but I do want all of your girls in one shot. This shoot is strongly about promoting a female presence in the organization.”

Louise and Tabitha watched as Isabella and Annie climbed onto the roof. When they were fully harnessed, they dropped over the guttering and posed three or four times as they lowered themselves slowly down the shed wall.

Margery was hustling the photographer in the direction she wanted. “Fantastic, girls. Now, in the trucks. Who are your truck drivers, Peter?”

“Eddie, Paul and Phillip.”

“Okay, one of you boys, hop up. Then we’ll fill the rest of the seats with the young ladies.”

“Louise and Tabitha, you’re up.” PJ waved them forward.

It was fun climbing into the truck, posing on the steps and opening up a tray or two in a simulated retrieval of gear. They even posed with chainsaws. Tabitha enjoyed herself immensely, not even feeling shy about her size in front of the camera. This was her thing. She belonged there and she was proud of it.

“Okay, now I want something special. Girls, all of you. Stand here. Arm in arm. Yes, that’s right. Now, Gary, I want you to get a photograph from across the road. Now, girls, walk toward the camera, smiling please.”

After three attempts, Margery was satisfied that she had the shot she wanted. The ‘Chainsaw Chicks’, she called it.

When it was finished, the girls changed into their everyday clothes, still giggling about their sudden rise to fame as the ‘Chainsaw Chicks’. Even the guys thought it was a hoot as they gathered at the pub for lunch.

* * * *

After a late SES call-out on Monday night, Tabitha overslept and she was late for college because she missed her bus. Everyone else was already seated in class and Kayne was just about to start the lecture.

“Sorry, Kayne. I missed the bus.”

He frowned then turned to the board and began. The few stifled sniggers from the back of the room warned her that Amelia was up to something and that she would be the target of whatever unpleasantness it involved.

At the break, Amelia barely waited until Kayne had left the room before she pounced. “So, Miss Chainsaw Chick, we think we’re famous now, do we? Well, I must say orange is just not your color, Tubby, and the camera puts on ten kilos. Not what I would call an alluring publicity shot.”

Tabitha turned around to face her abuser. Alex came to stand beside her.

“What the hell are you talking about?” Tabitha asked, confused by her taunts. She had no idea how Amelia would know about the photo shoot the previous the weekend.

“Oh, so you haven’t seen yourself then? Probably a good thing, Tubby. Here, for your information,” Amelia snarled and thrust the daily paper into her face before she stomped from the room.

Tabitha straightened the crushed pages out and put them in order. And there she was, on page six.

The Chainsaw Chicks of the SES.

It was a fantastic photo with the four of them, arms linked, helmets on their heads and smiles on their faces. In the background was five forty-five and the shed with the unit logo emblazoned on the door.

“Wow. I didn’t expect it to get in the paper,” Tabitha squeaked.

“Hey, you look great, Tabitha,” Alex said as he leaned over her shoulder to read the story below.

“You girls look great, and by the way, Tabitha, the camera does not add ten kilos,” Leo said.

“Thanks, guys.”

“Yes, very good article and great photo, Tabitha. You look like you’re enjoying yourself,” Kayne said as he walked past.

“I am, Kayne.”

As the second half of the lecture started, her three tormentors filed silently back into the room and the rest of the lesson went uninterrupted until Tabitha had to leave to catch her bus for a second extra shift at the clinic. She was about to slip quietly out of the door when her pager began to bleat and vibrate.

“Oh God, here we go again. Miss Chainsaw Chick to the rescue,” Amelia sneered.

Tabitha ignored Amelia’s sarcasm as she concentrated on her pager screen. As they only wanted a small experienced crew, she wasn’t going to attend, but there was no need to let Amelia know that.

“Well, hurry along, Tubby. Go be a hero,” Amelia snapped.

Amelia’s sarcasm made her cringe, as usual, but even as she stood there in the doorway, pager in hand, Tabitha realized something had changed. It wasn’t Amelia. It was her. The burn of acid fear in her stomach wasn’t as fierce, and damn that bitch, there were things she could do properly. The crew knew it and so did she and that’s what mattered. In a sudden flash of insight, Tabitha realized that Amelia’s opinion didn’t seem so important or accurate anymore, and was therefore less piercing and painful. She had been allowing this person to hurt her by believing her insults. Angry now, Tabitha turned and looked directly at her tormentor.

“I have no need to be a hero, Amelia. All I want to do is help our community, help those less fortunate than I am—those hurting, injured or lost. All I want is to make a positive, caring contribution to a better world, which is more than can be said for you, you measly, foul-mouthed bully. So just shut your bloody gob,” she said very quietly and firmly.

As she turned to pass through the door, she glanced at her lecturer. He gave as light, almost imperceptible nod and a ghost of a smile. She didn’t respond, still resentful that he hadn’t dealt with the situation satisfactorily. As the door closed behind her, she heard the sound of applause and a raucous cheer that could only have come from Alex and Leo.

“Go, Tabitha,” Alex yelled.

She was shaking so much she could hardly negotiate the stairs. She’d done it. Answered her back. Told her to shove it. And she, Tabitha, was still alive. The world hadn’t caved in. In fact, she felt good, in between the chattering teeth and the shivers that vibrated through her.

* * * *

Grinning to herself about the exhilaration of whizzing down a flying fox at the previous training session, Tabitha pushed through the front doors of the college on Thursday morning. Without warning, her path was blocked. She looked up into Amelia’s glowering expression. Petra and Dawn stood silently behind her.

“So the little orange hero’s got a big mouth. Getting brave are we, fishbait?”

Tabitha froze. She glanced around. There wasn’t another soul in sight.

Amelia latched onto her arm and made to drag her away from the front door.

“No, you don’t,” Tabitha yelled, grabbing the door handle with her other hand and pulling away from her bully.

“It’s time you were put back in your place, fishbait.”

Tabitha clutched the door handle and pressed her feet hard to the floor. Then cruel fingers were unwinding her grip. Petra and Dawn. She was sliding across the floor.

“Help, help,” she yelled.

Her grip on the door loosened. Amelia was dragging her across the floor. Tabitha reached for her phone, but Petra slapped it to the floor.

Now Tabitha swung her fist around and caught Amelia in the shoulder.

“Bitch,” Amelia screamed.

She swung Tabitha around. She slumped to the floor, cracking her head on the wall as she landed.

“Owwww,” Tabitha moaned and tried to crawl away.

Amelia pounced on her. Tabitha kicked and screamed as Amelia pounded her shoulders and head. Tabitha rolled over and kicked, catching Amelia in the stomach. She howled and fell back. Tabitha crawled away, and, using the wall, she got to her feet. Red caught her eye.

She stepped forward and grabbed the lever. “I’ll pull it, Amelia. I’ll set the alarm off.” Petra and Dawn froze for a moment then scurried back toward the front doors. Tabitha snatched up one of the chairs lining the corridor and held it protectively in front of her. Amelia stalked toward her.

Tabitha stood her ground, tightening her grip on the chair. “No, Amelia. No more. I’m warning you, I’ll crack you with this chair if you come closer.”

“Fishbait’s turned vicious.”

“Fishbait’s had enough, Amelia. I’m not your punching bag. No more.”

Amelia stopped advancing. She cocked her head to one side and stared at Tabitha. “Strange, I didn’t think you had it in you, Tubby Tabby.” Then she turned and followed Petra and Dawn.

Tabitha lowered the chair and sat in it. Her legs were jelly and a warm trickle of blood ran down her face unnoticed as tears filled her eyes. Then she began to laugh. She had fought back. Big time. Next time would be easier.

Finally feeling calmer, Tabitha made her way to Ms. Forbes’ office.

“Tabitha, whatever happened to you?” The principal guided her to a seat. “Cindy, get the first aid box.”

“Amelia Eckerton bashed me,” Tabitha stated bluntly.

“That young woman is in big trouble. Cindy, fetch Mr. Milburne and find out if Amelia Eckerton is on campus and demand she attend my office now.”

Cindy hurried from the room as Ms. Forbes pulled out her camera and took photos of Tabitha’s beaten face. Mr. Milburne arrived. He frowned as he examined the damage then helped Ms. Forbes cover the cut to her head and put a blanket around her shoulders. All through this Tabitha sat unmoving, except for the shivers vibrating through her body.

She heard the door crash open and a warm arm encircled her. “Awww, Kitty Kat, my poor Tabitha,” Alex murmured. “If only I had been there.”

Tabitha looked up. “I fought back, Alex.”

He smiled now and kissed her lightly on the cheek. “You did good, Tabitha.”

Moments later the paramedics arrived and Mr. Milburne and Ms. Forbes left. As the paramedics dressed her head, loud shouting echoed from the room next door. Tabitha could hear Amelia screaming over Mr. Milburne’s reasonable tones. It was hard to interpret what was being said, but when Tabitha heard the word police, Amelia’s furious screaming turned to loud sobbing and hysterical pleas for them not to.

In the end the police came and interviewed them both separately, and Tabitha was given the chance to think overnight about whether to press charges or not. In the end she decided not to, but she instantly regretted the decision when Ms. Forbes insisted two days later on a reconciliation session.

Tabitha sighed as she took her seat at the table. Another bloody waste of time.

Mr. Milburne took his seat as Ms. Forbes doled out tea and biscuits. Tabitha almost laughed. It was so civilized when they were here to discuss a bashing.

Amelia arrived last—alone. She marched into the room and flopped into the vacant chair. “Well, shall we get on with this?” she muttered.

“I would expect you to come with a more positive attitude, Amelia.”

“Why?” she asked.

Mr. Milburne leaned forward. “Because, young lady, you are here to make amends for your ugly behavior last week. Expulsion could be on the cards if you don’t.”

Amelia shrugged.

Resentment at her attitude burned in Tabitha. “Amelia, why do you pick on me? That’s all I want to know. Why? I’ve never done anything to you.”

Amelia shrugged and looked down at her lap.

“Well, Amelia, this is your chance to explain,” Mr. Milburne prompted.

Again Amelia shrugged.

“Oh, come on, Amelia, you must have something to say after all these years of tormenting me?”

Now Amelia looked directly at Tabitha. “I hate you, that’s why. Satisfied?”

Tabitha shook her head. “No, Amelia, I’m not satisfied. Why do you hate me? What have I done to you?”

“Nothing, all right? You’ve done nothing. I don’t know why I pick on you. I just do,” Amelia shouted. She stood and paced the room. “I don’t know why I’m angry with you, or why I hate you.”

“Hate is a very strong word, Amelia. A strong emotion,” Mr. Milburne cut in before Tabitha could speak.

“Well, it’s how I feel every time I see her. She just riles me up,” Amelia shouted. “Like this morning, like right now.”

Tabitha wasn’t sure what to say. All these years of torment and Amelia couldn’t tell her why. She remembered what Dr. Gause had said. “Is it about the ballet, Amelia? About being a fairy?” she asked.

Amelia stood stock-still for a long moment then turned to face Tabitha. She snorted, a negative sort of sound. “Fairy—you’ve got to be kidding…”

“But she made you be a tree, Amelia, and your mom let her. I still got to be a fairy because my mom insisted. Are you angry at me…or your mother, Amelia?”

Amelia plonked down in the chair. Tabitha could see the tears filling her eyes. “You don’t understand, Tabitha, how it feels. Your mom was always there for you—always.”

“It wasn’t my fault and yet you’ve been punishing me all these years.”

Amelia looked toward her, her face now red, blotchy and wet with tears. “I was jealous all right. Jealous ’cause your parents cared. You have no idea how much it hurts.”

Tabitha winced. “Probably about as much as your bullying hurt me,” she said.

Amelia glared up at Tabitha, a sneer curling her mouth out of shape. “Oh, come on, fishbait, you have no idea.”

Tabitha stood. She was trembling. Enough was enough. “I don’t think this is working, Mr. Milburne. I don’t want to do this anymore.”

“But…”

Ms. Forbes began to protest, but Tabitha was already slipping through the door.

Alex leaped out of the chair. “No good?”

Tabitha stepped into his embrace and shuddered against his chest. “No. She’s totally unreasonable.”

“So are they expelling her?” he asked.

Tabitha pulled back from him and looked up. “Maybe. They’re going to counsel her first, but if it is anything like today, it will be a waste of time.”

Amelia stormed into the classroom immediately after lunch and headed straight for Tabitha’s desk. She paused, leaned down. “If I get thrown out of college, I’m going to get you, fishbait, just you wait and see.”

Tabitha flinched at the sharp, savage tone to the threat. She wanted to run, but instead she glared up at her tormentor. “If you get thrown out, it will be your own bloody fault, and if you try to get me, I will fight back.”

“Haha. Them’s fighting words, fishbait. May the best woman win,” Amelia sneered and stalked to the back of the classroom.

“I see the counseling has helped,” Alex muttered.

Tabitha began to giggle then hastily suppressed it as the tutor walked in.

* * * *

As the days passed, Tabitha was aware of a subtle change in her bully’s behavior. While Amelia and her friends sniggered and made nasty comments in undertones, they made no attempt to follow her to the bus or hassle her in the corridors. Alex wasn’t totally convinced, but Tabitha began to suspect Amelia wasn’t deliberately stalking her like she had done in the past. Despite the changes in Amelia’s behavior, Tabitha remained on edge when on campus, but there was no further attempt at a physical attack. She suspected that Ms. Forbes had Amelia under some dire threat of expulsion and police intervention if she didn’t back off. Tabitha didn’t care what had brought about the change, she just enjoyed the less toxic atmosphere.