Chapter 50

While Helga did her magical weaving around Darrius’ heart, I removed the bow I’d admired earlier from the wall mount. Had to keep myself busy, and focused or I’d collapse into a crying heap.

I hauled the string back and my muscles quivered from the effort. So, I loosened the draw a bit and grabbed a quiver of arrows. I took several iron daggers and a few silver ones.

Really wish I had my own weapons back. My old ones were custom-made for me and entwined with both metals as some Fae were hurt with iron, others silver, and still some took both to kill them.

Two days. Forty-eight hours to find the plant and heal Darrius. While I strapped on each weapon, I felt like an underlying urgency was growing more insistent with every passing second.

Since I didn’t know how to use my Fae magic or really my wings for that matter, I rushed out into the hallway. But there were no servants anywhere in sight.

“Varaux,” I yelled. No idea if the Brownie could hear me from here and I didn’t want to take the time to go to Darrius’ chambers.

Truth was, I had to concentrate on what I needed to do. Seeing Darrius’ bed and remembering the nights we talked and made love. How his room smelled like him of spiced-honeyed whiskey and musk. I would break down and cry if I went to his chambers right now. Inside, I was hanging on by a thread that was unraveling in my hands. “Varaux.”

“What’s the fool done now?” The Brownie popped into the hallway before me. His crooked nose wrinkled in disgust. “Why does it smell like sour piss in there?”

“Darrius is hurt. I need you to find Malcolm and Simeon and tell them to meet me here immediately.”

Varaux’s gaze darted past me into the weapon’s chamber.

“Now, Varaux, please.”

His small face grim, he nodded and disappeared.

Everything was going to work out. I repeated to myself as I strapped on the quiver of arrows and slung the bow over my shoulder. My two men and I would travel the borders and get this dragonroot.

By nightfall, Darrius would be better. He’d rage and rant about the risk we took for him. Then I’d kiss him until he stopped. My heart thumped hard against my breastbone wishing more than anything that I could leap into the future and have Darrius all better already.

Helga bent over his body, muttering under her breath. Lines of blue and green magical threads hovered over Darrius. A bright crimson one pulsed in the center.

Until I’d come here, I had no idea I had magic or even wings.

Later, once things calmed down, I would need Malcolm and Simeon to teach me magic. Perhaps I could learn some of Helga’s healing spells as well.

I shook my head, needing to focus on my main task. Helga finished her magic, sitting back on her heels. She wiped a hand across her brow, and I couldn’t ask her if we still had two days to save Darrius. The fear of her answer, that it would be less than she thought, paralyzed me.

I had fought many dark Fae without qualms before. But the thought of her answer made sweat trickle down my back. I couldn’t think about what-ifs. I had to focus on the now. Had to push aside the rising terror that felt like it was choking me.

“What does this dragonroot look like?” I asked as I paced between Helga and the door.

“Black vines and a dark purple flower,” Helga said in a weary tone. She leaned back and rubbed her hands on her apron.

“That doesn’t sound too bad.”

“The plant has thorns called dragon teeth and they are sharp. Hard to get out of your skin if stabbed with them.” She shook her finger at me. “But don’t leave them in. Get them out right away or they burrow deeper and fester.”

“Lovely.”

Varaux popped into the hallway, gasping. “I’ve been all over the castle and courtyard, Avery. There’s no sign of Malcolm or Simeon.”

My stomach dropped. “No, that’s not possible. They have to be here. Or—or maybe they went Earthside. Are you able to check if they went there?” Why they’d go across that border didn’t make sense unless they were getting something for me.

He shook his head. “I checked. No one’s crossed into the human realms in a week.”

“Then where could they have gone?” I marched to the threshold, willing both of them to appear, but something deep inside me knew that Varaux was right and they weren’t in the castle or anywhere on the grounds. Simeon could have already left to go find Maggie for me. But why didn’t he tell me goodbye? And that still didn’t answer the question about Malcolm. What had the female brownie said? That he wanted Darrius to watch me until he returned…from where? Had he gone with Simeon?

Looked like I was going to have to go into Unseelie territory alone and track down my men in addition to this dragonroot. As much as I was crazy about all three of the princes, sometimes I wished we lived Earthside where life was a lot simpler.

“Helga, please do what you can for Darrius,” I said over my shoulder, my throat clenching. I took one last look at him, memorizing his face and conjuring up his laugh and the way his eyes crinkled at the corners. I touched my lips with trembling fingers and pushed out into the hallway. The feeling of each second drilled through me. I didn’t have time to gather guards to go with me. Besides, who would I pick to enter such dangerous territory? No. This was my battle. The dark Fae had sent those creatures after me and I bet the arrow was supposed to be for me too. I wasn’t going to let them win. I would take back my men and shove their assassination attempts down their throats.

They might think I was weak because I was raised Earthside and among humans. They were about to discover that I’d trained over half my life learning how to kill them.

I snagged a cloak and a pair of boots from the armory next to the double doors leading to the gardens. One thing about being queen was the staff had set up multiple items of clothing for me to change into. When I had asked Malcolm about it, he had said my mother had often gone outside without a coat or shoes. Even once during a blizzard, so the tale said, while she was pregnant with me.

And even though I felt closer to my foster mom than my real mother, seeing these cabinets with clothes at each of the castle doors, made me feel a touch closer to her.

I put on the boots and thought of how I could cut through the gardens to the woods beyond the castle grounds. Then I just had to keep heading west.

Despite my bravado, I was shaking on the inside. Everything in me wanted to run the other way. But I couldn’t.

Light snowflakes drifted on the breeze, and I clutched the dark cloak tighter around me. Since I had weapons now, I felt a little more confident. Though if I had my own, handcrafted ones, I’d have felt a whole hell of a lot better.

I crossed through the garden of closed buds that prepared for the coming winter. The colors were so bright and vibrant that they didn’t seem real like drops of psychedelic paint. When I’d first came here, I didn’t pay much attention. I’d been focused on killing the three princes and getting the fuck back home. But now, in these weeks that I’d stayed here, this was home to me…with my three men who each filled a different part of me.

The wind whistled through the forest in a low tone that sent a shiver skating down my back. I tightened my grip on my cloak and surged ahead. It would be miles until I reached the first border and one more still before coming into Unseelie lands. And would have more to travel still to get to the Shadow Realm barrier beyond that. If I was lucky, I could make it by nightfall.

Two days. The words pounded through the back of my skull.

I would make it in time. I had to. Anything less and part of me would die along with Darrius. A sob broke through me. I had to do this, or I would never recover. I pushed one foot in front of the other while my heart fractured into so many pieces, that I felt like it was made of glass. And each fragment cut so deep that I would carry the scars of this… of failing… into the afterlife with me.