Chapter 65: Desperate Moment

**STEVEN WOLKER’S POV**

I left home that morning determined to regain my memory. I went back to the psychiatrist I visited a few days ago and informed him of my visit, and he promptly accepted.

Upon arriving at the office, I am immediately taken to his room. I was nervous, more than the first time. Anxiety mixed with imminent desperation, an absurd desire to clarify all the facts, making it difficult for me even to think straight.

"Doctor, I need to remember, please!"

He was writing something and then immediately stopped, looking at me as I entered, very nervous. He pressed his lips a little pensively, then gestured to the chair for me to sit in front of him. I was pacing back and forth.

"First, breathe... keep calm, and try to understand what's happening right now."

I try to do everything he asks, even though it's futile. I sit in the chair before him, nervously swinging one leg. He studies me as someone hungry looks at food, and I become even more nervous. I told him about the previous day when he asked if anything had happened in the last few days.

"Today, you woke up with a mental hangover, so to speak," he observes.

"Yes, yes... I need to put an end to this."

I lean my hands on the table, very nervous. He stands up, goes to a corner, grabs a glass of water, and returns to me, handing it over. I take it and gulp the water down while he returns to his place, sitting there again.

"Steven, the more you force your mind to remember, the more confused you will become. There's no miracle to be done; try to relax and accept this condition. When it happens, and when you least expect it, you may remember everything again."

I heard his words, knowing he was right, but it was more complex than relaxing and watching everything happen around you without knowing if you were acting correctly. I lean back in the chair and take a deep breath, feeling calmer.

"I'll prescribe you some medication."

"No, I don't want to be medicated, risking not remembering anything, doctor."

It will help you maintain control, stop overloading your mind, and recover.

I listen attentively; if that's the case, it would be perfect. I needed to calm down because it didn't end well every time I pressured myself. I was alone, a hostage of myself, and I would have to make my own decisions. That's quite difficult.

I left there and went back home. I saw that my grandmother wanted to talk about something, but I raised my hand and looked at her in silence, which was necessary for her to understand that I wasn't ready to talk right now.

I go to my room and throw my whole body on the bed, looking at the ceiling as if I were trying to do the relaxation he indicated and finally recover all my memories. I just imagined that if this happened, everything would become clear, and finally, whoever it was, I would live in peace.

"Bro..." Leon calls.

He knocks on the door, and I ignore him for a while. I wasn't in the mood to listen to advice or get more stressed than I already was about the whole current issue.

"I want to be alone, Leon!" I shout.

Nothing they did was helping, so I was tired of being a burden to everyone, the amnesiac who was confused wherever he went, who was between two women without having the slightest idea how to act.

___________________________

**SOPHIE MADSON'S POV**

I went to the hospital to visit my mother once again; before I could enter her room, the doctor invited me to talk in his office to clarify some things.

I was already sitting in front of him when he spread some recent tests she had done on the table, and the good news he claimed to have is that the treatment was having an effect, reducing her health problem. The good news was more than necessary at that exact moment.

"How long until she can leave here, doctor?" I ask anxiously.

"Maybe a few days; let's hope that with each passing day, she gets better at home," he replies.

I smiled from ear to ear and left his office after thanking him for all the attention he had paid to my mother. I knew they were paid for it, but we could see with our own eyes how mutual the dedication was.

I headed to the apartment where she was. When I enter, she's watching TV with an intravenous medication, but calm. She smiles at me and scoots over a bit on the bed. I approach, hugging her, and always analytically, I look at her closely to make sure everything is okay.

"In a few days, we can be together, in a new home, with our son with us, mom. I'm so excited," I say.

"Dear, I'm thrilled. But what about Steven in all of this?" she asks, confused.

She didn't know half of what was happening. I didn't want to worry her because I saw how significant things could affect her recovery, so I had to take it easy. Step by step.

"Mom, it's all very complicated. Relationships are difficult. We must know when to leave them, but don't worry; I'm fine," I reassure her.

"Daughter, but do you like him? Is he causing you any harm for all of this?" she persists.

"Not directly, it's an involuntary distancing. Don't worry; I'm adult enough to handle it without further damage, okay, Mom? What matters is that you're well and that my son is born," I reply.

She smiles at my words, and I feel her hand caressing my face. She has always been and will always be my rock, and even though the world outside is falling apart, it's there that I'll find a safe place. In her arms, receiving her affection.

"I'll save up some good money and buy a beautiful house—with a balcony in your room!" I reveal.

"A balcony in my room? I can't believe it; I've always wanted a balcony," she gets excited.

"Yes! A bathtub in your bathroom, too."

"Oh my God... a bathtub? Now I'm even more excited."

We laughed; it was so much fun. We made so many plans, including buying a house near my son's school. Grandma will take care of him like a second mother when I'm working. I'm sure she'll be incredible.

After spending a good time with her, having lunch with her, and ending up having lunch together at the hospital, you know what? I was surprised by a delicious hospital meal I thought would be terrible.

When I left the hospital, I was eager to go to a store I had learned about through a colleague's recommendation. I was excited to start choosing everything, even without knowing the sex. I wanted to choose white, yellow, and beautiful neutral tones, as I loved them so much.

I chose the store in central London, and I went there. It was full of baby products, and that magical world enchanted me. I always had to point out how strange it was to deal with all of this alone, but since I found out about the pregnancy, I had been without Steven, so I started to get used to it, unfortunately.

"Boy or girl, ma'am?" the attendant asks.

"I don't know, can you believe it? So, everything that suits both," I reply.

She smiles, and then I start making choices. I was surprised by the infinity of things necessary to have a baby. A comfortable outfit, some diapers, and everyday items were required, but no. It was an infinity, combs, hairbrushes, bath products, and clothes with a thousand functions. I was so attentive to everything that I didn't even realize time passing so quickly, and it was already late afternoon the sun was starting to set, making space for the darkness of the night.

I took the bags to the car with the help of the saleswoman because when I used to go to the hospital, I didn't request to be accompanied by security so I could feel more comfortable.

"Thank you!"

"Come back more often, Mrs. Wolker," she says.

She leaves, and I stay quiet, feeling strange when she addresses me with that last name. It was as if it didn't belong to me, sometimes as if it was someone else.

I sigh and walk to the driver's door when I feel someone put their hands on my mouth, muffling my scream, and I try to free myself at all costs.

"Stay quiet, this is a robbery, and we know the lady has a lot of money! Let's have a quick chat," they say.

I had never been robbed in my entire life, even though months ago I wasn't as inviting a prey as now, but not even a cell phone had ever been stolen from me.

Tears fill my eyes, and I think of my baby; I would give them everything they asked for, even the last penny if necessary, to keep my son's life safe. That's all I needed!