Chapter 37: Episode Thirty Seven

I had kissed him back before I even made the conscious decision to

One second I was sitting there with all my doubts lined up neatly inside my chest and the next his mouth was on mine and every single one of those doubts just quietly packed up and left…because there was no room for them anymore

He laid me back against the mattress and hovered over me then looked at my face the way he sometimes did… like he was checking, like my comfort was something he was going to keep confirming no matter how far things went, and that specific thing undid me more than anything else

"I'm not going anywhere," I told him with a low chuckle, he chuckled too, his expression shifted a bit, and the next second, his mouth was on my neck and I stopped thinking in complete sentences

He took his time, nibbling and kissing me there,

His hands trailed around my body, stopping at intervals to be sure I was genuinely into this, my body reacted positively

When his fingers found the hem of my top and pulled it over my head I felt the brief instinct to cover myself, that old habit of making myself small and easy to overlook, and then I felt his eyes on me and it dissolved completely

Nobody had ever looked at me the way he was looking at me right now…. Not even Neil, when he was pretending

"You're staring," I said shyly

"I know," he said, and made absolutely no move to stop

Heat crept to my face, my nipples hardening

His eyes moved over there and darkened, my face got redder, and I tried covering it with my hair, which he swiftly brushed to the side

I laughed and it came out softer than I intended

he smiled at the sound of it and then he was kissing me again and the laughing stopped

His mouth moved from my lips to my jaw to my collarbone and lower, and my fingers curled into his hair and my back arched off the mattress before I could think about whether I meant to do that

He took his time there too, learning me like he had nowhere else to be, and I felt heat pooling low in my stomach and spreading until my whole body felt like it was running several degrees warmer than normal

"Jax," his name came out unsteady, my breath coming in short

"I've got you," he said against my skin

I felt his hand trail up my thighs, higher and higher, until they could touch my panties

A soft gaspes escaped my lips and he groaned

“You're so wet…” he murmured

He worked his way back up to my mouth, his hand sliding higher to my stoamch, feeling thr skin over there

Instinctively, my fingers grabbed his shoulders

He was patient, making sure I was okay and sure about this, if I still had any single doubt in me about him, all that was cleared now

In one swift move, my mini skirt came off, together with my panties

I was bare before his eyes, my clit throbbing under the scrutiny

“You're beautiful” he whispered, his eyes still staring dreamily

“You're beautiful” he whispered again, his shirt went off, followed by his pants and underwear

His length sprang free, thick and hard as a steel rod

My eyes widened in pure awe, causing him to laugh

“What?” Only when he spoke did I realize I'd been staring directly at his length

Goodness! I wanted the ground to swallow me whole, but at the same time, I didn't

“You don't think you can take him?” He asked shamelessly and I covered my face with my palm

Jax chuckled and lowered again, his mouth kissing my neck, down to my cleavage

Before I could fully register it, his mouth eclosed on one of my peaches, while his hand fondled the other

“U..a..uh!..” a moan escaped my lips, all the sweetness pilling on my already throbbing clit

“There…” I croaked in pleasure

He withdrew a bit “Where?” he teased

“There…” I croaked again, wiggling my hips so he got the message

He obliged without hesitation, by the time his cock was fully buried inside me, I let out a loud cry in pure bliss

He stilled and looked at my face

"Okay?" he asked, his voice rough

"Yes," I managed, but there was still uncertainty in his eyes as he tried to pull away, my arms shot out and grabbed his shoulders "please don't stop" I breathed

He started to move again, slowly, making sure that I felt every single thing, the weight of him, the warmth, the particular pressure that built with each slow deliberate motion

“F..fa…” I couldn't even form the words, my brain had melted somewhere in my head and all I could think about now, was this insane pleasure building inside me

he understood without being told and deepened his rhythm, thrusting so hard, my walls shook to the point where I stopped being able to track anything except sensation

heat kept climbing, coiling tighter and tighter, his breathing ragged against my neck, my nails in his back, the headboard and the sounds of us filling the room

“I’m…. ahhh!” I tried to say but it came out as a moan

“I feel it too..” he growled in my ears

“Mm..ahh!” I moaned again, shutting my eyes as thightly as possible, and when it finally broke I gasped his name and felt him shudder against me not long after, his whole body tensing and releasing and his forehead dropping to mine while we both came back down slowly

Neither of us spoke for a moment

Then he shifted, pressed his mouth to the side of my neck, and I felt his teeth graze that specific spot and my entire body snapped to attention, the bond that I've not felt since the beginning, surges forward so fast and so strong that a sound escaped me

“JAX!” A sound that had nothing to do with what we had just done and everything to do with what that graze meant

He went completely still

For one long suspended second neither of us moved and the air between us was thick with something that hadn't been there before, a pull so enormous it almost had its own weight, every part of me leaning toward it and every part of him clearly feeling the same thing

Then he lifted his head and looked at me

I looked back at him

“I'm sorry” he whispered apologetically, his eyes filled with deep internal guilt and regret

“I'm so sorry” he whispered again, gathering me in his arm and burying his face in the crook of my neck

We both understood without a single word passing between us

He couldn't mark me…. I didn't feel the bond yet, that… that could kill the both of us

He raised his head and exhaled slowly, then pulled me against his chest instead, my head tucked under his chin, his arm across my back, his heartbeat gradually slowing under my ear

"I got carried away, forgive me Kiera," he continued to apologize, I was still reeling from the thrill of our recent activity and the dread of what had almost happened

Gosh!!

This shouldn't happen again

Yeah, right

A tiny voice in my head scoffs, and even deep within me, I knew it was a big fat lie