Chapter 64: Sixty-four.

Calum looked around in horror, his old fears replaying in his head; but now, the reality was so much worse, because he knew Colt now, he loved her and had been loved by her in return. What had he done? How would he ever cope without her.

He was still frantically searching, groping at nothing but water and seaweed beneath him, while simultaneously beating himself up when it happened. A brownish blob caught his eye, Colt. She was walking up onto the pebbles having swam to shore. He had no idea how she passed everyone, nor did he care, all that mattered was she was fine, and he was an idiot for jumping to conclusions.

Colt's soaking wet fur was clinging to her slender frame as she walked on what looked like tender paws, shaking out her body as much she could. Calum ran to her, but Felix got there first, pulling his clean t-shirt over his head and offering it to his friend so she could shift back. Colt simply shook her head though as Calum approached, falling to his knees in front of her.

"Don't you ever do that to me again!" He snapped, his own panic over ruling his better sense of judgement in the moment, "I thought.. I," he stopped with a frown unable to put it into words.

Colt hissed in response, swiping at him with her claws in annoyance. Her claws that were now missing her grandmother's engagement ring. The realisation hurt her, and it pushed her next shift. In the span of a minute, the new attraction on the beach was a black wolf, and a very agitated black wolf at that.

"Colt?" Calum reached out again, pulling his hand back swiftly when she snapped her teeth at him.

Snarling she pushed past him roughly and trotted over to the water's edge. Her eyes meticulously scanning everything she could see in the hopes of finding her ring. She just had to find it, there was no other option.

""Dude!" Felix stated with a laugh, "you are so in the dog house! Looks like it will just be the pots getting banged tonight after all."

"Shut up!" Calum hissed out, clenching his fist as he tried to work out what Colt was doing; along with determining just how much worse it would make things if he punched Felix.

Felix shook his head, looking at Colt and catching on quicker than her mate, he said, "Fuck! She shifted!"

"Well that's obvious," Calum spat back watching his mate still.

Felix couldn't help himself, he punched Calum's upper arm. "Stop being a jackass, and help your mate find her damn engagement ring," Felix stated, and then shoved past Calum to help her himself.

Calum's spine went cold, and suddenly he felt a lot more sober. He stode on slightly wobbly feet towards Colt, finally turning into their bond and feeling just how frantic Colt was, and how desperately she was to find it. As he approached he was filled with the need to reassure her, to let her know he was there for her. That there would be a solution, somehow.

"We will find it," he stated when he reached her side.

Colt ignored both him and Iona, who came over a moment later, she was carrying Colt's clothes.

She popped them down on the stones behind her cousin, "Hey, I grabbed these before the tide swept them off," she smiled quietly.

Colt briefly nodded in her cousin's direction, but didn't take her eyes off the stones under her paws. The water was too dark to search any further out, but with the tide receding, Colt would wait. She would wait all night of she had to. She briefly heard Iona's sharp intake of breath as Calum told her what was going on, and felt the presence of the others around her as they began to join her hunt. The most frustrating part was that she was still about fifteen metres from where she shifted; it would be a long night.

Calum tried to reach out to Colt after an hour had passed, but she stepped away with a small snarl, not giving him any further attention.

"Still, Love?" He sighed, rubbing his face in annoyance at how stubborn she was being.

Over the course of six hours Colt had followed the tide all the way out, and had howled in anger when it started to flow back in, swallowing up her search area. She howled again half an hour later, in painful recognition that her time was running out. Everyone had stayed to search, but now it all seemed hopeless, and they had gathered back in a group by the trailer, leaving just her and Calum on the pebbles.

Calum watched Colt, he didn't know how to make it better, he could feel how devastated she was, despite their feline vision, and even a few torches, they just couldn't seem to find it. All he wanted was to make it better, and his inability was eating him up.

"What?" Calum snapped at Felix, when he suddenly approached, tapping him on the shoulder.

"I can help you." The lion said through gritted teeth, feeling irate himself about being Calum's verbal punching bag.

Calum sighed, his fight evaporating "I'm not in the mood, Felix."

"Obviously." Felix snorted in return, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Piss off, Felix." Calum stated, dismissing him abruptly.

Felix grabbed Calum's arm before he could turn away, and roughly pulled him around, "Take the help, Asshole, you need it." He stated, and held up Colt's engagement ring between two fingers, causing Calum's eyes to go wide.

"How did you?" he asked, plucking the ring from Felix's fingers with joy.

"I laid out her clothes to dry," Felix said with a shrug. "It was tangled in the lace of her her bra. Nice colour by the way, I bet she looks phenomenal in that pink set." He winked.

Calum was too relieved to rise to the bait, "Thank you," he stated sincerely towards the lion, and ran down the beach like madman to his future wife.

Colt felt Calum's relief in the bond, but didn't spare him a glance as he approached, going so far as to growl in case he tried to distract her from her task, when she was already running out of time.

"Damn it, Woman!" Calum stated frustrated, "I'm sorry okay, but your ring is safe. So, you can stop bloody growling at me!"

Colt looked up at his words, relief swamping her, when her eyes locked on what he held in his hand.

"Felix found it, tangled in your clothes," Calum stated, as Colt swung her head to the man in question who had just face palmed, hearing Calum's words.

"Come on, Wildcat! If I had wanted the credit, I'd have given her it myself!" He shouted over, shaking his head in disbelief and walking to join the others.

Colt sat for a moment, quietly observing everything around her before she moved to pick up her damp clothes in her mouth, and then she headed over and jumped onto the trailer. She found a spot on a hay bale and lay down quietly, seemingly tuning everything else around her out.

"I guess we are done here, then?" Alasdair called over to Calum, from beside his father who was still sat in the driver's seat.

"Aye, it seems we are." Calum replied, as he came and sat beside his mate, longing to touch her but deciding not to.

When everyone was dropped off at home, after a very awkward journey, it was just past one thirty in the morning. Felix called a quick goodnight and went to his caravan, not looking back at the tense couple once.

Colt waited on Calum to open the door, he didn't even mention the fact it was unlocked and still had the key sat inside the lock, and they both ignored the pile of leftover porridge and molasses on the ground in front of it. As soon as the couple were inside Colt took to her human form and headed straight upstairs to the shower without saying a word, or even deigning to glance at her mate. She had completely shut herself off, consumed by her own emotions.

It was probably the quickest shower of her life, which in itself shocked Calum, but by the time he himself had cleaned up and entered the bedroom, Colt was already in bed with her back turned to him, and the covers pulled to her chin.

That was the final straw. Calum had had enough of the cold shoulder, and he wasn't prepared to go to bed on the issue. He marched over and ripped the covers from her body, rolling his eyes at her choice of pyjamas; Colt had as much skin covered as possible, her every action adding another brick in the wall she was putting up. Unfortunately, for that wall, Calum was prepared to use a sledgehammer if necessary.

"What the hell?!" Colt sat up annoyed, staring at her mate like he had lost his damn mind.

"Ah, you can speak then. Here was me thinking the sea water had melted your vocal chords. Strange how you could still growl mind you." Calum snapped back at her.

Colt sighed, moving to reach for the covers again, "It's late, Calum. I just want to get some sleep," she stated deflated, her irritation aimed solely at herself right now.

"Not a chance, Love," Calum snapped back, not picking up on the direction of Colt's mood. "We are fixing this, and we are fixing it now!"

With that he yanked the covers off the bed completely, and threw them across the room where they landed in a heap under the window.

"What is going on, Colt?!" He demanded annoyed, at being continually dismissed.

"What do you think?" Colt finally pushed back, becoming annoyed at Calum once more.

Calum flapped his arms, "I have no idea, we found your ring. Which for the record, no one made you bloody shift in the first place. What were you thinking, Woman? We were all having a laugh, a blackening almost always ends with a dip somewhere, it's how we wash the worst of the crap off!"

"I'm not annoyed at you over the ring!" Colt shouted back. "That I'm annoyed at myself over. I'm annoyed at you for forcing me into something I didn't want! Damn it, Calum! I haven't been deeper than my ankles in the sea for a fuckimg reason! But, did you stop to think about it? No! You were too busy living up to a fucking tradition, that you didn't recognise that the woman you love was afraid!"

"What?" Calum asked feeling lost, and like Colt had verbally slapped him at the same time.

"Oh, and for the record, Calum, I didn't choose to shift. I was terrified and couldn't control it, not that you stopped once to realise that, or to even think that maybe, just maybe I didn't want to go into the sea for a reason. That maybe, just maybe I deserved to have those feelings fucking recognised and validated!"

"You were.... but I didnt feel it," Calum stated warily, suddenly realising he could indeed be the one who messed up here.

"No, probably not, since you never once stopped to try, or maybe you were just too drunk to!" Colt continued.

"Love, I said I was sorry," he tried to reach her as she began pacing the room.

But, Colt shook her head, "No, a half assed apology, that is only done under the pretence of an easy life isn't good enough, Calum!" Colt bit back unyielding.

"What do you want then?" Calum stated, with more irritation than he had intended.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Colt fired back at him. "I wanted to go to sleep and forget this whole thing had ever happened!" She flapped in annoyance.

"Aye, and what exactly does that solve, Colt!" Calum raised his voice, "You can't hide from me, turning your back and giving me the silent treatment. Come on, Love, grow up!"

"Ha! Said by the man who terrified his mate enough to force a shift, and didn't even stop to think that the last time she was submerged in water was the first time he saw her." Colt spat at him.

"What are you talking about?" Caum asked confused again. "Stop with the fucking riddles!"

"Ireland, Calum! I am talking about when I practically drowned in Ireland. Being thrown about with no control under the power of the sea. My lungs burning as they took on more and more seawater, and I couldn't get back to the surface! I am scared of the water!" Colt screeched at him like he was an imbesile.

"You have been out with me on the boat, Colt!" Calum stated as if this proved her to be talking nonsense. "You are hardly afraid of the sea," he scoffed.

"On! Calum, on! Not in!" Colt stated, angered at him questioning her over this.

It hit him full force then. He had accidentally pushed her so past her comfort zone, her body forced her to shift in fear, and he didn't catch on once. His mate was afraid of drowning, and he.... The thought made him feel physically sick. That is not the man he thought he was.

"Colt, I.." Calum began, at a loss for how to fix his mistake.

He sat suddenly on the edge of their bed, his hands clutching his head as Colt collected their bed covers and brought them back over arranging them in silence, folded at the foot of the bed. She could feel his remorse, and his shame, how he was silently beating himself up, and it didn't make her feel any better either; so, when he reached his hand out for her, she didn't pull away. Instead she allowed him to pull her close, until she was stood in front of him, while his head pressed against her stomach and his arms wrapped around her hips, locking her in place between his legs, like he was afraid she would evaporate in front of him.

"I messed up, Colt. I'm so sorry," he whispered, taking comfort when her hands reached into his hair, stroking through it and soothing him.

"I know," Colt spoke softly, her anger gone and now she was overwhelmed with worry for the man she loved. The man who was sat mentally flogging himself for his actions.

"I never once stopped to think, about how that would have affected you," he gulped, "I was so relieved just to have you, that I pushed it out of my head. Why didn't you tell me, Love?" He asked, wanting to understand more.

Colt sighed, her knees buckling as she curled herself onto Calum's lap, "I have to deal with enough baggage, and you already have your own terrible experiences from Ireland," she began, "I... I... I didn't want to give anymore attention to it," she answered honestly, "Burying it, meant I could protect us both, like it had never happened. But tonight, I was forced to face it, and my reaction upset myself."

"Love," Calum sighed, "It isn't your job to protect me, that's m..."

Colt pulled back, slapping her hand across Calum's lips, "If you dare finish that sexist comment, Casanova, we will be having a new argument. It is my job to protect you, every bit as much as it is yours to protect me, and don't you dare forget it."

Calum smiled against her hand as she started to lower it, "Okay, but..."

"No buts," she interrupted him.

Calum sighed, "I still wish you had told me. I can't believe how I acted now, if I'd have known," he paused, holding her tighter as she melted into his warmth. "I told you, I can't fix what I don't know about."

Colt sighed, "I love you," she stated inhaling his scent, "But, you have got to stop pushing to be the perfect mate every minute. You are allowed to make mistakes, Calum, I will still love you despite them," she stated, kissing his neck softly, and it isn't your responsibility to *'fix'* all my problems."

Calum's head flopped down to sit on top of Colt's for a minute as he thought about the ramifications of her words, of just how well she could read him, before he responded, "I didn't think it was that obvious, Love."

Colt lifted her head, forcing Calum's back up so she could look into his eyes, "No one is that perfect, Calum. But, you are perfect for me, and you make me happy, and I'm not going anywhere. You can relax."

Calum sighed sliding his body back to the pillows and pulling Colt with him so she was lying on top of his chest as he busied his fingers, threading them repeatedly through her hair, and thought about her words.

"Calum?" Colt asked, pulling his attention from his inward reflections.

"Yes, Love?" He answered quietly.

Colt took a breath and Calum could feel the small apprehension from whatever she was about to say, "Amy's death wasn't your fault," Colt whispered, "You can't keep beating yourself up for it."

Calum's hands tensed on Colt's hair enough to make her uncomfortable, but they relaxed before she was in any pain, his heart rate had spiked as she unintentionally picked at a wound, Calum continually kept hidden.

"I mean it Calum. The fault was her families. They forced her, you accepted yes. But left it to go at her pace, until your family added more pressure. It was Colin, and her family that gave you both a deadline, and Mom was right, had you walked away, what would have happened? She would have been forced to wed another, forced into a life she didn't want. Her depression, wasn't your fault. Neither was her death, that was her decision, because of circumstances which you weren't in control of," she said, lifting her upper body to look him in the eye, "And, I'm not Amy." She stated clearly, "Yes, I have known pain, more than my fair share if you ask my Dad. But, I know love, and joy, and fulfillment. So, stop being so hard on yourself, I'm not made of glass, I won't break because you made an error in judgement."

Calum's head flopped back as he stared at the ceiling, internally cursing how he may as well be the one made of glass, since he was so apparently transparent to his mate, it seems.

After several minutes, Calum spoke, "I'll try," was all he could say, Colt's love for him was filling their bond and he finally realised, she wanted just as much happiness for him, as he wanted for her.

He rolled her over so she was tucked against him, both on their sides, "Your ring is in the bathroom, would you like me to go get it?" He asked softly.

"No, I'll get it tomorrow. I just want you, Calum," she whispered sleepily, nuzzling in closer to him as her relaxed purrs began to softly echo in the room.

Calum kissed her head, smirking when she grumbled because he pulled away to gather the covers up over their bodies. She had him pinned down beside her again, almost before his head hit the pillow.

"Colt?" He whispered, "I love you too," he spoke honestly, kissing her forehead, but Colt was already asleep.

*Author's Note: I had a new story idea... watch this space 😉*