Chapter 53: Remembering.

Laramie:

It surprised me just how easily I became consumed with memories of him: the sweet smell of his skin, the way my skin tingled with the slightest touch, the way his voice settled deep in my stomach with every word he spoke. How his laugh echoed in the deepest parts of me and especially the way his unruly hair would always fall over his eyes adding to his boyish, almost innocent charm.

I turned slowly, wanting to savour the moment for as long as I possibly could. I knew that I missed him: missed talking to him about nothing and everything, missed laughing with him about the silliest things, and most of all, I missed the way I felt whenever I was with him - safe, seen, relaxed, and happy. But I wasn't prepared for just how much I actually missed him.

So much that I almost didn't even realize it until I was close to him again. Only then did I realize that it felt like a part of my heart had been missing the entire time.

"Noah." I said, breathlessly when I finally looked up at him.

He looked like the best part of a wonderful dream.

At first, he looked a little surprised to see me, but his surprise was quickly replaced by a slight smile and a sparkle in his eye that he couldn't quite hide.

"Hello, trouble." His voice soothed its way down the length of my spine.

'Trouble.' I even missed his juvenile little nickname for me.

"How have you been?"

"Okay. And you?"

"Same."

Then, a heavy silence forced its way between us and settled there like a wall. I didn't know what else to say and by the look on his face, neither did Noah. We just stared at each other for the longest time - I felt like I was suffocating. I could feel heat creeping up to my face and I suddenly felt awkward and silly. I shifted my weight from on foot to the other and tugged on the hem of my skirt.

I wanted to talk to him. I wanted things to be the way that they used to be between us. But that was an impossible wish - one that I ruined. I was the one that told him that I couldn't see him anymore, that I was seeing someone else.

What he must have thought of me. The thought suddenly struck me like a blow to the gut. I went out with Noah, I kissed him. I made him think that there could actually be something between us beyond the realm of mere friendship. And then, I go and tell him that I'm seeing someone else and worse than that, I tell him that I still want to be his friend - the absolute worst line in the history of all break-ups.

I opened my mouth to speak I wanted to tell Noah that I was sorry and that I never meant to lead him on. I wanted to explain to him that I wasn't some serial-dating floozie that just bounced around from one guy to the other and that I really did like him - a lot. But how was I supposed to explain Ethan to him?

Before I could say anything, Noah raised his hand and gently tucked a lock of hair behind my ear. His hand lingered for a second and he was looking at me like he was trying to commit my face to his memory. Something flashed behind his eyes - something that looked a lot like sadness and it felt like my entire world stopped.

"You look really good, Laramie."

His voice sounded heavy, loaded with something that I couldn't quite place, but it made my heart beat a little faster. And when he lowered his hand and caressed my bottom lip with his thumb, a tremble echoed through my entire body and made me take a step closer to him. His touch was hypnotizing, drawing me in like a flame draws a moth.

"There you are."

Elodie's perky, slightly high-pitched voice cut through the noise and shattered the moment with Noah. She stopped in her tracks when she saw us together and the smile on her face widened into a full-on grin.

"Hey, you're the guy from the swing."

Noah looked disappointed as he lowered his hand and turned his body to better face Elodie. He smiled when he spoke to her, but it didn't reach his eyes all the way.

"And you're the friend that robbed me of a wonderful evening."

Elodie didn't falter - she just looked at Noah with that stupid grin on her face and a glint in her eye that I didn't like. She was up to something - she always was.

"Allow me to make it up to you. Why don't you join us?"

My heart stopped. My mouth went dry. This wasn't happening.

Noah didn't answer her right away. Instead, he casually shoved his hands into his pockets and glanced over at me. He saw the anxious look on my face and sighed. Then he looked back at Elodie, tried for a smile that barely reached his lips, and slowly shook his head.

"Thanks, but I was on my way out actually. Maybe next time."

Elodie looked very disappointed, but she didn't force the matter - she just shrugged, her eyes darting between the two of us. Maybe she picked up on the tension between us. How could she not? It was thick enough to pull apart with your bare hands.

"Sure. Next time." She said.

Noah looked at me one last time and then he left. His absence made me feel lonely and cold. I didn't have time to contemplate the reasons why, because Elodie stepped in front of me, her face the picture of curious intrigue.

"What was that about?"

"Nothing." My voice sounded weak.

"Oh, come on. Don't give me that. That was definitely something. And I want to know all about it."

I sighed, resigning myself to the fact that it was pointless to try and avoid the conversation. Elodie was like a dog with a bone and there was no way that she was letting this one go.

"I was kind of seeing Noah for a while, but then I started seeing someone else - someone that I'm kind of crazy about. So, I ended things with Noah and now it's just kind of awkward between us."

Elodie just stared at me, her eyes growing so wide that it made her face look like a doll's. Then, her face split into a massive grin once again and she grabbed my hands. Her voice went even higher than usual when she spoke.

"Laramie, you dark horse! Who would have guessed it - the shy little artsy girl, dating two men at the same time."

She actually sounded impressed and a little proud.

My cheeks flushed. I had to look away from her.

"It wasn't like that." I tried to explain.

But Elodie wasn't having it. She draped her arm over my shoulder, spinning me around so that we were facing the bar.

"This calls for a shot."