Chapter 22: Solaris

My eyes open when I feel the pressure on my bed but I don't react as I see him next to me. He smells different. Of someone else's scent. Not roses. Something less elegant and more… Feline. There's a soft lazy smile on his face as he spots me looking at me before my eyes go to the bouquet of flowers in his hand.

"Edelweiss flower," He's whispering, though my room is dark. It's always dark. They never let me have any bulbs in my room and it was okay because I liked it being dark. It was prettier to see monsters when there wasn't any light, like him for example.

His red eyes are gem-like when it's dark. "They grow on mountain tops and under severe weather conditions, like snow for example and barely any sunlight. They're also rare to find as they grow in places not good for human health. Like you."

I keep staring at the flowers before taking it from him and putting it on my nose. It doesn't smell as strong or as breathtaking as roses but the slight smell of honey has me won over. Plus, it's yellow and white, and it reminds me of the banana cream pie I ate this morning. Can I eat the petals? I don't know.

"Do you understand my statement?" I look at him as he continues, "I climbed a mountain to get them for you."

"You're a vampire. It makes the statement lack any serious worth," I say. A look of disbelief crosses his face though it's one of amusement before I get closer and place my hand on his face. It's colder than usual and I spot the tiny snowflakes on his hair and eyelashes.

He says nothing and just stares at me, I'm sure waiting for a reaction but I take my hand back and press the flowers close to my chest. "I want a garden."

"A garden?" He asks. He is the one to get close to me now, his fangs gleaming under the moonlight as he asks, "Do you realize this is the first time you ask for something? And with everything you could possibly ask, that is your preference?"

"It's for you." I say. "You have to raise them here and make a bouquet for me after they've grown. That is, of course, if they don't die. If they do, it would mean I would die too."

"You rarely talk and the moment you do, you make such deathly declarations." He says, "You must enjoy this. Having me do as you desire. And a garden? Of what?"

"Edelweiss flowers. You say they're just like me, didn't you? If you manage to care for them, then you'll do the same with me." I turn away now and look up at the ceiling. The flowers are on my chest now so I smell them closely and it's hard not to bite into them. They're pretty. "And I'd asked to go back to school. You said no."

My sentence displeases him. I can sense how the air in the room is suddenly cold and suffocating and when he speaks, his voice is chilling, "Is this because of your friend that visited today?"

"I don't have friends." I reply, not bothering to look at him. "And Elias didn't stay long. After you left, so did he. We had nothing to say so I left him in the living room and came back to the bed then took a nap."

"If he wasn't your friend, then why did you invite him in?"

"I don't know." I answer. My voice goes quiet now because in truth, I do know. It was for the food, yes, but also to see his reaction. I did mention he was pretty when he was upset but I didn't expect him to leave for that long. How many hours had it been since I'd woken from a bad dream during the nap? Sixteen hours and twenty two minutes.

I couldn't remember the dream but waking and not seeing him made my stomach hurt. It was new for me so I didn't know what to do. I tried to sleep but that didn't work so I had to stay awake, and that was even worse. Because I was awake and things I didn't want to remember came back into my head.

And it felt like he wasn't going to come back anymore.

It had happened before. My parents forgetting me. At the beginning, it wasn't on purpose. They were always too busy at each others necks to remember me so I slept off through all that time until my mother felt too guilty and fed me so hard I'd swell.

It was always one of those things. Starving till I was unconscious for several hours or being fed till I couldn't breathe anymore. This was until my siblings were born. They forgot me on purpose then.

"You can." I turn to him now. He's staring at me with an expressionless look, his voice cool. "I'll drop you off before I go to work. I have missed… Too many things at the office so I need to make up for lost time. It's why I stayed so late. And hitchhiking all of a sudden takes time."

"So you didn't forget me?" I ask.

He stares now, completely lost before he reaches out for my head and pulls me into his body. The second I smell him, I want to shove him away because it doesn't smell like him and it's disconcerting, like someone else is touching me but his grip doesn't lessen until he whispers in my ear, "Stay."

My body obeys immediately, though my mind is wandering around before I feel him breathing in my hair. I'm like a ball wrapped into his body, unable to breathe properly or move as he continues, "Can you hear it, Miss Mont?"

I don't know what he wants me to hear but I force myself to stay as quiet as possible and eventually I do. It sounds like someone tapping on my bed's headboard. Low, but consistent. Fighting to be heard but doing it quietly so it doesn't wake me up.

"My heart doesn't beat," His voice feels like a cool breeze as I feel him breathing on my neck now. "Perhaps, it always has and I've never acknowledged it but a general believe is Vampires… Our hearts do not beat because we are dead. Yet, when I am with you, I hear it. I feel it. When we are turned… My kind that is, we remember nothing of our previously life so we are reborn in a sense. Whoever Sires us is our new family and they train us into survival so without them, it is hard to know what is right and what is wrong and death is very easy then but mine had abandoned me."

"I laid there, my senses so wide and powerful I bled from every crevice in my body with no collection of my past life and my heart no longer beating," There's no touch of emotion in his voice. No regret, or pain. Just a cool acceptance of what had happened. "I tried for my hundred years to remember, hoping someone might put a poster for me but no one did. I suppose no one cared for me at the time so I eventually gave up my search but there are times I wish I could remember my times as a mortal. Like I have forgotten something of great importance and it destroys me. You make that feeling go away. Why shall I forget the one thing that makes the ache I suffered for many years go away?"

"Because people can be silly," I say quietly. My eyes are already drowsy and it's hard to stay awake. His story is boring. And long. "Everyone forgets."

I hear him chuckle softly there. "Little fox, vampires do not forget. We might have little problems with our memories but unlike humans, we can always search for it and find it when we desire." Then he kisses the top of my head. "Sleep. You have a long day ahead tomorrow."

I do so and sleep welcomes me happily because It missed me and I missed It too.