18- Theon

There is no one like her and this is not because I have searched the entire world for her kind but because I can feel it in my bones. It's like… Old wine recognizes a person that deserved to hold its bottle and tastes even better than before. Like how I can smell perfect blood even before I spot where it comes from.

I am a hunter, my instincts sharpened so greatly that I sense things that should be impossible to find. A change in the weather. A change in a car before I drive it. It's easy now. Life is simple for me, understandable and yet… Yet, even as I can feel that something had changed earlier as I spoke with her in the jet, that she was not Solaris Mont.

Her heart sounded different, her eyes… Wild and feral, filled with terror. It was her, my fox, but at the same time, it wasn't and this version felt similar but crippling. I knew it somehow, and it felt old, even older than I was, but that couldn't be possible, could it?

She is human and I have lived longer than she, but… But the feeling of hate and disgust at myself tore me apart as I smelled her fear. It displeased me and the desire to get rid of the feelings tearing me apart had me wanting to stop her from breathing.

Understand that it is not normal for me to feel such things. I am used to her terrorizing me with her apathy to life and her health but the fear of her hiding from me felt even worse. I felt my brain make up many scenarios after I had compelled her into sleep by breaking her legs so she would never dare leave my presence, or at the very least, feeding from her till she could no longer move.

But after she had woken, her usual self had returned. She demanded food and I presented it, watching as she ate. It was as if I had dreamed of our earlier interaction, imagined her distraught and horrified at my existence but that couldn't be possible, could it? Vampires do not dream.

Still, I tried to ignore the thoughts that she might be pretending that she was no longer scared of me so I could let her be and continue with our day's preparation. Understanding that a change of environment was good for her kind, I had put efforts and a lot of money into finding a place that none of my kind would be found.

A country with abundant sunlight.

After we took over, countries that were sunny all round were abandoned and humans were shipped to the colder ones. Of course, I put a lot of work into keeping them cloudy and bearable for many of us but it was better than staying in a place where the sun held power over us.

And yet, here I am, heading to a country I had bought specifically for her that would cause my detrimental pain if I am not careful. Does it seem too much? Perhaps, but clothes and money cannot gain Miss Mont's interest so perhaps something she has never seen before might amuse her.

Plus, I would love to see her reaction to it. I try to imagine how she'd act. Like an overeager puppy or perhaps, a lost cat? Though she's now a fox in her own right, I enjoy how my brain works at full speed all for the sake of her.

Now, we're in a car with black tinted windows while someone drives us. She's sleeping with her head on my shoulder which isn't surprising. Is it silly that I have developed a habit of hating her being asleep? It never ends well or begins well and now, I wish to wake her but that is impossible.

A sleeping Solaris is more understandable than an awake one.

When we arrive at the cabin that I had made overnight just for our stay here for the night, my driver parks and hurries out with an umbrella. I have on gloves, a long sleeved turtleneck sweater and shades to protect me from the sun so the only part of my body showing any skin is my face but the umbrella shades me from it.

As I walk out, I lift her into my arms. She is small, soft, and warm. And alive. There is a thing about humans that even as much as we find them weak, we can't seem to be jealous of the fact they live. That they enjoy life with a rush we lack. The rush of knowing you can die at any time and at any given moment is something our kind would never have.

But for now, I do not mind. Watching Solaris live fills the hunger inside me.

She doesn't even budge as I walk with her cradled into my chest, my guard keeps the umbrella over my head. We reach the backyard of the cabin and I stare at the wide space in front of me. It would be beautiful to me if I appreciated the world, but I do not.

Instead, I look down at the tiny creature in my arms and whisper softly, "Little fox. I need to show you something."

On a normal day, she would not rise at my words but I suppose she is a little curious at my words because her eyes flutter open and she stares at me, her pupil dilating as she stares at me. There is no emotion in them, just a distant look that has me wanting something to come on it.

Carefully, I place her down on the sand beneath our feet. She's wearing no shoes, she does not enjoy them, and a white long sleeve shrug top with a flowery white skirt that has roses on them. They look large on her small frame but they make her look like a goddess in her element.

My eyes take note of how her toes scrunch up as she feels the sand. I am sure she is comparing it to the snow but she says nothing of it before she looks up. The sun makes her hair look like it's been set aflame, the red in them almost calling me to lose my hand in it and get burnt while she stares with an expression that I cannot seem to fully understand.

Slowly, she raises her hand up, staring at how the sun glows on her skin, her fingers tracing invisible patterns as if trying to capture the essence of the moment.. To her, it is the first time she feels warm. To me, I have never seen someone's skin glitter like diamonds, reflecting like a mirror. Perhaps, it is because of how pale she is that the sun desires to kiss her skin just a tiny bit, worship her.

It makes me jealous.

"I remember this," Her voice is calm and soft. There is tranquility in the way she moves now. Graceful, swan-like even. She sets her hand down as she looks at the sea, sounding far away now. "Do you hear it?"

I don't but at the same time, I can not seem to tell her those words. I am mesmerized by how she seems to come to life, color appearing all over as she begins to walk towards the waves now. There is an addicting feel to the image she is creating that makes it hard to speak because I do not want to break it, like Aphrodite returning to the sea from whence she came but the thought that she may dissolve into foam and I would be left alone squeezes tightly around my heart as I whisper, "Come back."

Solaris Mont doesn't answer. She walks, as if in a trance towards it and briefly, I realize that running water and my kind do not see eye to eye. The sun is something I had accepted as our enemy but because of how secluded I had become, I had forgotten that water in motion is one thing I should avoid.

And she walks to it.

"Solaris." There is an impatience in my voice or perhaps, fear as one thought flashes in my head. She is trying to escape me even after I'd done this for her. Even after I'd put my life at risk for her. She does not appreciate this. "Do not take another step."

She is not listening. Her feet waddle into the water and a look crosses her face. One of bliss. She says she remembers this and that is not possible, is it? No human has seen the sun as directly as this in years, especially not one like her but I can hear her heart. There is a peaceful lull to it, telling me to let her be. To float away into a dream that would become a nightmare to me.

"Solaris!" My voice doesn't sound like me as I snap. It echoes, it rages, it cries. It feels like I am watching her leave and I can't seem to stop it. My body knows at that moment she is not good for me. She will cause my death somehow, in ways that I would not be able to fathom but my mind… My heart silences that.

It is so easy.

My world seems to pause as her eyes close in peace and the waves claim her. My human. Mine. It crashes happily as it pulls her down, almost taunting me at the fact that it can claim her and I cannot. I stare, unable to speak, unable to react and before I can comprehend any of the thoughts floating in my head, I do the things I am not supposed to.

I feel my skin molting before the water tries to pull to its depth but in a matter of minutes, I am back in the cabin, water dripping all over my body while my face burns. I do not need to touch it now that it hurts because the pain is very obvious but I do not care about that as I stare at the woman I had decided to punish myself for.

Solaris Mont is almost translucent, her lips are peaceful and her heart… I hear it, but it is slowing down as time passes. She looks beautiful with water all over her body like crystals, peaceful. Death would suit her and briefly, I think of how much easier life would become if I sire her.

If I feed her my blood especially at a moment like this, she would turn and become devoted to me, as per the bond. I would never have to worry about her leaving because I would own her mind, body and soul as I should. The Ancients would never harm her because she would be a prodigy of mine, an experiment to see how powerful a vampire under me might become.

She would be strong. She would be predictable. I would have her for my entire life and she would never be able to escape me.

She would no longer be my little human.

I would eventually be bored of how easy it is to filter through her mind and she would no longer bear the appreciation and curiosity of life that I enjoy watching her feel because even though I might not feel it as I know many things, feeding from her emotions is sufficient.

"Why do you constantly try to end your life when you are around me?" I whisper. "Have you always been so accident prone? Is it I that causes you such distress?" I lean down to her body. She smells like roses and she feels cold, just like me.

Not like herself.

I pinch her nose and blow air into it before moving away and doing compressions on her chest. Her pulse is dull as I do it but I don't stop. Time stills when I'm with her, and today, I bear numerous amounts of it as I repeat my steps till she gasps and rises then begins to spurt out water.

I do nothing but watch as she pants, coughing and choking before she lays back to the cabin floor, staring at me. There is a new look in her eyes, one that I cannot seem to understand but I see the tiny spark in them, like a bit of her has returned.

"You seem to have an unhealthy addiction in causing me to save your life numerous times. You need to curtail the habit." I rise from the floor and head to the kitchen. I am rummaging through the fridge when I feel her behind me and remember that some part of my face is burnt. That right now, I do not look like me but a true version of what I really am.

A monster.

"Do you not enjoy saving me?" Her voice has returned to its normal flavorless and breathy tone. I can tell she's shivering, that she's not quite fully awake yet to the life of the living.

I turn to look at her. Her hair sticks to her body and her arms are wrapped around it. She's pale, and cold. And so gorgeous that I don't even know what to do with it, with such artwork. I remember that vampires cannot have their pictures taken and it makes me want to have a thousand of her pictures so I never forget this version of her. This glorious creature that does things so callously and seeks death in the most perilous places as life is already so fleeting for her kind.

Does Death even want her? Or does he enjoy how unpredictable she is as she gets into this situation? I do not know.

"Is this for attention?" I ask, wanting to know what this was. The other times, her reasons had been deluded but simple and now, I need to know. "If you want mine, you have it clearly. I dedicate my life to you more than I should. More than you deserve. So why?"

Solaris Mont says nothing at first, she's looking at me like she sees me for the first time, like her eyes are finally opened to a world that I might never be lucky enough to see then says softly, "Because I know it is what you want."

Her words hang in the air like the smoke of a bomb, the reaction catastrophic as I stare at her. I want to say that it is a lie, that I would never desire to cause her harm but deep down, I do enjoy it. All of her dances with death and her life balancing in my hands. That I can save her, and end her, is a drug that I would never be able to escape.

She walks to me and I let her. When she's close enough, I hear her blood pulse, telling me to feed her. To taste her. She's alive. She's here. She's mine. "Can we dance together?"

It is such a random question but there is power to it. It demands us intertwining our souls, like she is telling me to stop my pretense and be as honest as she has. I want to tell her that this is my true nature and I have never dared hiding who I truly am, but I know it is a lie.

She knows me. Somehow. My little fox knows who I am.

"No." I answer. "Later. Possibly."

Solaris Mont doesn't argue, why would she? Instead, she turns to the fridge and bends before taking out a tub of ice-cream and walks out of the kitchen, leaving me alone to my thoughts and wondering what exactly is happening.

If I am truly the predator in our companionship.