Darkness

VOLUME ONE: GUILT

Prologue

Have you ever had a moment of complete irony? I once looked up what the definition was. According to Siri irony was, and I quote,

"a state of affairs or an event that seems deliberately contrary to what one expects and is often amusing as a result".

Irony is amusing? I don't think so. Irony can be cruel and hurtful and completely damaging. For me anyways. You see six months ago I would have thought Irony was just a word in the English Dictionary that everyone knew, but couldn't exactly put words to explain. Now I know what Irony truly means, I'm living it.

Laynie

Pain slices through the back of my head at an alarming rate. I can hear a voice in the background, but am unsure of what it is saying. My back lands hard on the kitchen floor. God, I hate our hardwood flooring. Of course, Jared had to have the most expensive hardwood floor that cost sixteen hundred dollars a square foot. I'm not sure why, but when we moved in, he was very specific about what amenities he wanted.

Jared picks my body up not giving me time to brace myself for his fist flying to my nose, the one body part he once told me he loved the most. I scream in agony as he grabs my blouse with his fists and brings my face closer to his. I used to love looking at his beautiful blue eyes. They were so expressive, I could always tell what he was thinking.

"What did I tell you about talking back to me Laynie?" He screams. I didn't even realize that I had spoken back to him.

I try not to say a word. I just do what I always do. I Cry. Weak. I hate being weak.

"Jared, I'm sorry. Please stop!" I cry out, my hands trying to block his.

The pain of his fist flying at my face over and over is unbearable. He stops, grips my hair tight in his grasp and looks at me, I beg for the man that I have known since I was fourteen, to come and rescue me from this monster that has taken over. As usual all I receive is another fist that connects me with the darkness I have come to crave.

Jared

I leave her on the kitchen floor. The darkness has corrupted me once again. Call me a monster, call me a demon, or a woman abuser. I don't and can't control it. The anger I have deep inside chooses when to come out. I can usually suppress it at work, but today was a particularly bad day. My career as a contractor who owns his own business allows me to control it with a secluded environment, but when I'm home the anger takes over. Unfortunately, it happens around my wife. My wife. The woman I used to care for most in the world. The woman that despite being in the damn hospital with a fucking cop hanging over me, will never betray me. Which in turns makes me pissed. She can't read me? Good. Neither can I.

I have always had this darkness in me. Never knew when it started. I was never one of those kids that skinned the neighbor's cats. Never the teenager that grabbed girls inappropriately. Nothing like that. I was just always fucking angry. As I walk into our bedroom, I notice the laundry is not done. It's just sitting there. Not a usual occurrence in this house. Laynie always has the house immaculate when I come home. She never has the laundry out, kitchen messy, nothing. I trip over the occasional shoe, but other than that she is a bit of neat freak.