Chapter 134

I took his hand and led him to our bedroom. “ You’re going to have to quit that. She’s going to turn into a spoiled brat.” I said teasing him.

“ Nothing wrong with my girls knowing what they want.”

“ Oh really,” I said as I closed the door and pulled him to me for a kiss.

“Really.” he said as he smiled and kissed me back.

I pushed his button up over shirt off of his shoulders and he lifted mine over my head as I pulled off my pants. I pushed him onto the bed and I pulled his jeans off and licked him through his boxers. He slid them off and I slid off my panties and back on top of him. He sat up to get close to me as I rode him. I needed this after all we had been through. I needed to feel him, but he flipped me over and made love to me. It was awkward at first because of my belly, but he figured it out. After a while and I had my orgasm he gave up on getting his. He rolled off of me half satisfied and half frustrated.

“ What’s wrong?” I asked. “ It’s okay to tell me if it’s me.” He turned to face me with tears in his eyes.

“It’s not you.. It’s my body. The things they did to me in that basement I don’t think I can ever recover from. As you can see you turn me on so much, but I can’t release it. I want to share that with you again, but I just don’t know how.” he said with shame and tears in his eyes. I could tell he didn’t want to admit this to me much less to himself and it was hard for him.

“ It’s okay, I’m not mad at you and we can get through this, but for me to understand better I need to know some of what they did to you.”

“ I can’t.” he cried, tears falling on his pillow. “ I can’t tell you because I am ashamed.”

“ I need you to try.” I pleaded with him. “We need to get past this even if it takes years and I’ll be here with you every step of the way.”

“What if you don’t like what I have to say? What if you get mad at some of the things they made me do and you leave me?” he asked desperately.

I wiped his tears and kissed him softly. “ Just because I might not like what they made you do doesn’t mean I’ll leave you. I had to fuck another man and you are still here. Hell I had to fuck two men and you’re still here. I might be grossed out by what you say, but I’ll never hate you or leave you. I love you Brian and that’s not going to change.”

“Promise?”

“Brian, I promise with all my heart. Please help me understand.”

He swallowed hard. “ They chained me naked to the floor so I was forced to squat. Marcus would come in behind me and fuck me while a random chick would suck my dick. I refused to come for her and they would punish me until I did or they would do things to me so I would come. They made me perform oral sex on women that hadn’t showered in weeks and if I threw up I was punished. After Marcus would fuck me they would put random objects in my ass and make me hold it there for hours sometimes days. If it broke or came out they would use something bigger. I was done like this the entire time I was down there. I think I can’t come because my body has been trained to only come when something is inside me.” he whispered.

I was in shock. Brian definitely had it alot worse than I did and I couldn’t believe what they had done. “ Brian why would I hate you or leave you because you were raped? It breaks my heart that you had to go through that. What happened to you was a thousand times worse than what they did to me. I don’t know how we will get through this, but we will.”

“ I have a feeling I know how to test it.” he said quietly.

“How is that?” I asked confused.

“ We need Marcus to join us just one time and see if that is what I need. After that we can get toys or whatever, I just need to know if that is what is going to make me work again. I need to do this for me and for you. I need to feel like a man again. I feel like a less than loser and not the alpha male I’m so used to being.”

“ I get that, but why do you need Marcus when I could just order what you need?” I asked still confused.

“ I need to know now,” he whispered. “ I need to know to ease my mind and I need to know if I’m still capable of being a man.”

“ Being able to finish during sex is not what makes you a man Brian.” I tried to reason with him.

He sat up beside me in bed and took my hands in his. “ Faith…love I need this. What if it doesn’t work and I’m incapable? Let me have this one thing and we don’t have to do it or talk about it again.” he begged in one last desperation to figure himself out.

“ I don’t like this, but you can do it just once.” I said defeated knowing he wasn’t trying to hurt me. I knew he was hurting and wanted to fix himself.

“Thank you, love.” he said as he put on his pants. “ I’ll be right back with Marcus.”

“Wait, in here?” I asked.

“ Yes, in here while I make love to you.” he said desperately again.

“ Okay so you are asking me to let you have a threesome with Marcus.” I said, piecing everything together.

“Essentially yes, but he won't have to touch you. I just want to see if it will help me while we make love.”

“ So I’m not enough. Is what you’re saying?” I said as tears came to my eyes.

He fell to his knees. “ You are enough. I’m just so fucked up from what happened, I need to see just this one time if we need to add things to the bedroom or if I’m permanently fucked up. You will always be enough Faith . I won’t do this unless you are involved. I need this because I’m mentally fucked. Just please do this once for me and we will never have to do it again and never speak of it again.”

Tears in my eyes and my heart breaking, I whispered. “ This one time and you better hope Veronica agrees.” Terror crossed his face when he realized I wasn’t the only one who he had to convince. He kissed me and was out the door.