Chapter 126: Misplaced anger

Kaelar POV

I wasn’t sure how much more I could take.

Punch.

The skin on my knuckles cracked long ago, healing and cracking again, but not before leaving crimson stains on the punching bag. The scent of honeysuckles in this damned place was nauseating.

Punch.

Voices were murmuring around me, but I didn’t stop.

Punch.

I felt my wrist snap, the sound echoing through my eardrums, but the pain didn’t register, so I punched again… and again…. And again.

Rhys stepped in front of the bag as I brought my fist back for the millionth time, “Enough,” his voice was soft, his eyes pleading with me to give it a rest.

“Move,” I snarled, but he remained rooted in place. The longer we stood, staring at one another, the more time my wrist had to slowly fuse the bones back together. A few more minutes, and it would no longer be considered broken.

“Why are you doing this to yourself?” Rhys’s voice was laced with tension, his eyes overflowing with concern.

“I COULDN’T….” the words that started as anger, ripping from my throat died out when I glanced around at our audience. Did I trust my men to have my back in battle? Ten-thousand percent. Did I trust that they would keep my relationship with Aribella a secret? Not even in the slightest.

I’ve broken our sacred vows, and I’ve watched others lose their lives while I stood by, dutifully manning my post like the good little soldier I was, only to realize I was a hypocrite.

Love was an emotion I couldn’t afford. For years, I looked down on those who found themselves tangled in their emotions. I could have lived the remainder of my existence never having known what reciprocated love was….. Until Aribella stormed into my life and flipped everything I thought I knew on its head.

Rhys placed his hand on my shoulder, “Let’s take a walk.”

It was nearly midnight, and Aribella had long fallen asleep. After learning that Mikko and Gideon would be honored guests in the castle, the mood amongst the four of us was toxic. Rhory was angrier than I’d ever seen him, and Emrys; Ready to kill Gideon for his role in the cliff accident.

But Aribella… she was fuming like I’d never seen. Between that and her injuries, she could barely keep her eyes open once her head hit the pillow.

The cool, night air felt like heaven against my scorching skin.

“Feels a bit strange being on the flip side,” Rhys chuckles, running a hand through his dark hair. The mask on his face infuriates me more with each passing day, and I wonder if I made the right decision saving him to enlist years ago.

“I haven’t been able to formally apologize,” his eyes dart anywhere but my face, something I’m used to with Rhys. He’s always felt as though he’s an inconvenience.

“For what?”

“Hurting Aribella,” he whispered, shame laced in every word. “I told her I would have rather died…. And I meant every word.”

“She would have killed you again if you accepted that fate.”

Rhys let out a snort, “She’s feisty like that,” his eyes crinkle at the corners, and I know that look. I want to be angry; I want to tell him he can’t feel that way…. But I keep my mouth shut, biting my tongue until it bleeds.

“You love her, don’t you?” he finally breaks the tense silence between us. “That’s why you were trying to murder that innocent punching bag in there.”

“I couldn’t protect her.”

“From me,” Rhys stopped, moving so that I was facing him. “I deserve that anger. Hit me.”

“No.”

Rhys shocked me, pushing me back, “I said hit me, Kaelar.”

“I’m not hitting you.”

Rhys reared his arm back, his gloved fingers clenched in a tight fist, but the moment he drove his arm towards me, I caught it, twisting it, and slamming him against the dew-covered grass.

My knee pressed against the junction between his shoulder blades, “I’m not angry with you and I won’t beat you to a pulp to try and make myself feel any better knowing damn well it won’t.”

He lets out a snarl, and I know he’s projecting. He wants me to fight with him so he can feel better about his part in hurting Ari.

“Mikko and Gideon will be here tomorrow,” I hissed, leaning down against the side of his face. “The King is treating them as honorary guests but anything those two are involved in, is trouble. Can you ensure that if things go south, you’ve got my back?”

“Always,” he grits out, as I release him, standing, and offering a hand.

“And this bullshit,” I motioned between us. “Don’t look towards me to punish yourself. You know me better than that. I don’t blame you for what happened, and as much as I hate it,” nausea creeps into my throat. “I know you care about her, and I know you would never hurt her on your own accord.”

I slammed my fist against his chest, right above his heart, “We’re brothers,” I leaned down, near the shell of his ear, ensuring my voice was barely above a whisper… something low enough that a human would be unable to detect. “I want out. Are you in?”

Rhys inhaled sharply, “Wherever you go, I go. What about Reo?”

“I haven’t spoken with him yet, but Aribella wants him out.”

“She’s not staying?” his shock is palpable.

“Did you honestly think I’d leave without her?”

He lets out a soft chuckle, “Nah. I guess not. Are we going to have to tie her up and carry her out?”

“She’s on board.”

“What about Mikko?” Even Rhys knows how terrifying my brother can be. We’ve cleaned up after him more than a few times. Not only that, but the stories he’s pulled out of me are nothing short of horrifying.

“If he gets a single whiff that she’s mine,” the thought causes my heart to flood with pure adrenaline. “I’ll have to kill him.”