Chapter Thirty-One

Fenirick’s phone goes off as he tells us to get situated and ready to leave, I look at Addam “What’s going on?”

“Someone tripped the alarm, we don’t know if it’s a threat or just someone who wasn’t paying attention to where they were walking.” Addam replies. “I’d recommend just going into your room and locking your door just in case it is someone who poses a threat.”

I nod as I walk into my room and shut the door, I turn the lock and sit on my bed with my legs crossed under me as I listen to the alarms blaring around the compound trying to do my breathing exercises to calm myself down as the alarm dies out. I close my eyes and take a deep breath inward and exhale slowly when a knock comes to my door, I stay quiet not knowing what to do or say, the feeling in my gut is telling me to keep quiet the person who knocked tries to open the door, but since it’s locked there’s no way of opening it.

“Hey, what are you doing on our RV?” I hear Fenirick ask someone.

“I thought I saw someone come in here sir.” I hear another male say.

“It’s just me and a few friends, as I told you before, I’m planning on taking a road trip with Addam, his new mate Dafne, Berik and her daughters, along with a few other people. You have no business being in here, you should be patrolling the borders, Henderson.”

I bite the inside of my bottom lip staying as still and quiet as possible, after a few minutes of almost complete silence another knock sounds at my door “Fal, it’s ok, you’re safe, you can unlock your door now.” Fenirick says through the door.

I take another deep breath and let it out slowly, releasing the tension that had built up, I slide off my bed, walk over to my door, unlock and open it to reveal Fenirick and Berik. “What’s happening?” I ask as I pull at the hem of my long-sleeved shirt nervously.

“There was a breach at the south border, thankfully it wasn’t anything too serious, at least I don’t think it was, but everyone is aware that we’re going on a road trip, they don’t know about you, at least I don’t think they do.” Fenirick replies.

“Who were you talking to just before you and Berik told me I could open my door?” I ask.

“One of my pack members, his name is Iorek, he owns a bike shop. Why?”

I continue to pull at the hem of my sleeves “remember that note I got before we left for the dance?”

He nods “Yeah, do you think that he might be one of the traitors?”

“I honestly don’t know, but it’s suspicious, especially with the timing and everything, did he say what he was doing on your RV?”

Fenirick shakes his head “no, I don’t know if you heard him say anything, but he thought he saw someone come in here.”

“Do you think that someone saw me come in here with y’all and maybe told someone else who is looking for me? How do they even know that I am the one that they’re looking for? Are they going to do the same thing to me that they did to my birth parents?” I rattle off question after question after question feeling more and more frantic with each question that comes to mind.

“Falencia, honey, you need to calm yourself!” Berik says pulling me into her arms in a hug. “You’re going to be just fine my love, no one is going to hurt you.”

I sit on the couch and try to do my breathing exercises to calm myself down as I rock back and forth wrapping my arms around myself. “I just don’t understand why this is happening.” I put my face in my hands as I shake my head.

“I’m so sorry honey, I wish I had all the answers that you need.” Berik says.

“I know mom, I just wish none of this was going on, I have a really bad feeling.”

“I promise you’re safe.” Fenirick tells me.

“I believe you, and I trust you. I just don’t want to put anyone in danger.”

“You’re not putting anyone in any kind of danger.”

“But aren’t I?” I question.

“No, none of this is your fault. The people at fault are the prophets who made the prophecy a long time ago, the ones who told of your birth, the power you will hold, and what could happen because of that power.” Fenirick states.

“I have never once wished I was never born, but with everything going on, I’m starting to.” I reply honestly.

Berik wraps her arms around me and holds me in a tight hug. “Oh honey! I know things are extremely hard right now, but you’re not alone and none of us want you not to be here anymore.”

Freyja, Justin, Nik, Cherie, and Dafne join Addam, Fenirick, Berik, and me in the upstairs lounge area of the RV trailer “What’s going on?” Freyja asks.

“There is just a lot going on.” Berik says as I clench my jaw and take deep breaths to hold the tears that are threatening to spill over onto my cheeks at bay.

“I need to get out of this dress, I’m going to go take a shower and get into something a little more comfortable.” I say as I walk back toward my room.

“Are you sure you’re going to be alright?” Berik asks me.

I just nod and continue to head towards my room trying to keep the bad thoughts that have started to plague my mind away. As I sit on the floor of the shower, I allow myself to cry and think about all of the nasty and bad things kids at school have said about me in the past that I brushed off, that I had ignored. I allow myself to go down the rabbit hole of self-doubt, and self-loathing that I had never once allowed myself to go down in the past. I think about how much danger I have put others in just because I was in their lives. As I sit on there letting the hot water run over me I feel the trailer start to move, I sit there for another five minutes before I finally get up off the floor and start washing my hair and body, just as I turn off the water there’s a knock on the bathroom door. “Yes?” I call out as I wrap a towel around my body.

“Honey, are you alright?” Berik asks through the door.

I take a deep breath and let it out slowly trying to figure out how to answer, honestly but still vague enough to not have her worry about me. “I’m fine, mom.” I reply.

She opens the door enough for her to slip in through the opening. “I know that you’re not fine. Talk to me, that’s what I am here for my love.”

“Can we do this later, when I’m dressed and not in a towel in the bathroom?”

She smiles at me and nods “I’m sorry, I just want to make sure that you’re ok.”

“To be completely honest, I don’t know what I’m feeling or even how to feel.”

She nods and turns to leave “Before I go, I just want you to know that you’re not alone in any of this.”

I sigh as she leaves the room and I sink to sit on the closed toilet trying to figure out how to explain to her and everyone about the dark thoughts that have plagued my mind.